Hi all! I have seen many little stories about Ed and Al when they were little, and other such things, but I haven't seen many stories about my favourite team, Mustang's team at the Military, so I thought I'll make some. Hope you like, and if you get any ideas, please tell me. Thanks, Nuk.
Fart Flame
The office was quiet.
Too quiet for the five men's liking. It was normally busy, and loud, with each of them rushing around, trying to figure out their latest case. There was normally the rustling of paper, the scribbling of pens, the newest information being exchanged. Roy Mustang was normally shouting for coffee, and Riza Hawkeye's gun going off in an attempt to regain order.
The only woman of the team didn't mind the unusual quiet and was quietly cleaning her gun, with her dog, Black Hayate, asleep at her feet. The reason for the silence was that they had no case to solve. With one out of the way, Mustang's team was yet to receive another one.
Each of the men were trying to find a way to entertain their selves. Kain Fuery was folding paper up into animals. A swan, a bear and a horse was sitting around him and in his hands was a half finished owl. Heymans Breda was trying to balance his pen on the desk, but was unsuccessful. It kept falling over. Vato Falman was looking up at the ceiling, as if he was counting the burnt marks left there by Mustang. Mustang, himself, was slowly snapping his figures. A flame kept appearing and disappearing, like a lighter. Jean Havoc was holding his stomach, his face red as he was trying to keep something in. However, he couldn't hold it any longer and a loud fart echoed around the room.
"Havoc!" Mustang complained, narrowing his eyes and looking over to the smoker. Fuery, Breda and Falman started to laugh. Hawkeye looked at Havoc in disgust, and held her nose.
"Sorry, Sir, I had baked beans for breakfast" Havoc explained, a smile threatening to form on his face, "You know what they say about baked beans, good for your heart, but the more you eat them, the more you fart"
"Yes, but can you at least leave the room?" Hawkeye asked. The five men started to laugh at their female comrade's face, it was so serious. Before anyone could reply, a loud farting nose sounded again.
"2nd Lt. Havoc!" Hawkeye cried out, while all the men doubled over in laughter, "That is disgusting!" Seeing the look in Hawkeye's eyes and the gun in her hand, the five men soon quieted down. Everything went quiet again and Mustang went back to snapping his fingers. Fuery watched him for a minuet, before his eyes lit up and he began to chuckle.
"What is it, Fuery?" Mustang asked, thinking the youngest member of his team was laughing at him.
"I've just remembered something the boys use to do at my old school" Fury said.
"Well, what is it?" Breda asked. Fuery briefly looked at Hawkeye before continuing.
"They would get a lighter and fart on it, and the fire…would…will…" Fuery said, thinking of the best way to explain it, "…act like it normally does when exposed to gas" Hawkeye rolled her eyes, and sighed. The four other men looked at Fuery, who turned slightly red.
"Does it actual work?" Falman asked, which Fuery replied with a nod.
"Have you still got gas left in you, Havoc?" Mustang asked, turning to his farting subordinate.
"Yeh, I think so" Havoc replied.
"You can't be serious, Colonel, this is what immature teenagers do to waste time" Hawkeye said, standing up.
"I am an Alchemist, Lt. Hawkeye," Mustang replied, "We act on science, and if I was to fully understand the science of fire, I must experiment" he stood up, and smiled. Havoc did the same.
"You're calling this science!?" Hawkeye nearly yelled, as Mustang lowered his hand to Havoc's backside. Havoc screwed his face up, and farted just as Mustang snapped his fingers. The fire expanded with the fart, like a mini explosion. Havoc jumped forward, holding his rear end, where the fire had flicked him. He laughed, his cigarette hanging out his mouth. Breda, Falman and Fuery were doubled over in laughter, and even their Colonel was smiling, clearly amused.
"Men" Hawkeye sighed, leaving the room.
"Let's do it again!" she heard Havoc say, as she closed the door.
"Yeh, see how big the fire gets!" Breda said. Another fart was heard, and the men all 'wowed' in wonder.
Hawkeye silently betted that there was going to be severely more burn marks on the ceiling for Falman to count when she got back.
There, the first one finished. I am calling this 'Drabble of the Military' and will update more as I go along, so keep an eye out.
This is pretty stupid, I know, but I hang out with a lot of boys, most of which found farting amusing. And I show a film the other day that had this in it, and I thought about Mustang and his men for some strange reason.
Please review, flames welcome, but nothing too harsh. Nuk xxx