A/N: Some of the things I say in this one-shot are actual quotes from the book, if you are wondering if one of them was a quote I said or a quote in the book, just ask and I will tell you. Thank you!
The atmosphere was thick. Nobody spoke a word to her, and if they did, it was asking if she wanted anything to eat or drink. The answer was always no.
She knew it would happen, of course. She was a warlock, he a shadowhunter. She would live forever, unless she was killed, and he, like a mundane, would die of old age, illness, or death by another. She knew that he was going to die one day, and she prepared herself for that day every single minute of her life.
But when the day actually came, she couldn't believe it. Her Will, her sweet, arrogant, book-loving Will, turned into a pale, sad boy who never made his sarcastic remarks, who didn't breath for words, or express his love for Tessa in the simplest ways possible. His breaths were shallow, sometimes non-existent. When he did speak, he asked for his seraph blades to put him out of his misery, to let him go to the Angel and practice shooting daggers with Him.
He asked when the next training session would be, if Tessa found another book for him to read, if Jem could come play the violin for him. Jem was a Silent Brother, now unrecognizable by most shadowhunters, and for Will, in his state, unrecognizable even if you told him who he was. He kept asking where Jem went and why he left him.
Jem was always standing next to him. After a bit, they stopped telling Will that Jem was right here, with them. He would never believe them.
Jem said that if it were Tessa's wishes, he could keep giving Will the medicine that would keep him going for at least another three months. She wanted to tell him to keep doing it, to keep him for another three months, if possible, four, but she knew it was wrong. She could see how much pain he was in, knowing he wouldn't be able to slay demons anymore, or clean his blades from ichor stuck on the edges of the knife. It was more painful seeing him like this than seeing him… gone.
Tessa hadn't seen Jem in a very long time, and when Will started to get ill and losing his memory, Tessa called him and Magnus Bane immediately. She didn't know who else to call, who else to share her grief with. They stayed in the Institute for a week, together, all preparing themselves for the moment they would take Will off the medicine, and see him die in a matter of minutes. What would they say as their last words to him? Would he hear them? Would he already be dead?
Magnus told Tessa before Will died that the first time was always the hardest.
"There will be more, Tessa," he told her shakily. Magnus could not believe he was about to lose one of his only true friends in the world. "You have a job in the world, being a warlock. The job is to help people, shadowhunters, mundanes, downworlders. The job is not easy. Every year passes, every ten years pass, and you see people age, people being born, and people dying. Your heart aches every single time and you know that time goes on without you, whether you like it or not," he paused. "Tessa, I'm over 300 years old. I've had many affairs, crushes, loves. The hardest one is the first one. Will is going to be gone physically, but he is going up to be with the Angels and other fallen shadowhunters. He will watch you from the sky, watch you help others, watch you hurt others, and watch you love others. You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it." They went into the room after this, in silence, to say their final goodbyes.
Everyone was around Will's deathbed. After a moment, everyone left the room but Jem and Tessa. They stood around, not knowing what to do or say. They just took both of Will's hands and sat.
After about two minutes of just grief, Will spoke.
"It's very strange," Will said shakily. "I am dying right now, and all you can do is hold my hands. It's a very romantic gesture, but I would like to hear some words. Words that would form into sentences, and sentences that would form into paragraphs. Specifically about how much you all love me," he paused to cough. He grinned not soon after though, "How amazing I am, et cetera, et cetera. How I shouldn't be afraid of death, but by the Angel, I am terrified."
Tessa touch his face gently. "Be brave," she said. "It's not a duck, is it?"
"Oh dear no," he grinned softly. "I am more terrified of ducks than I am of death."
Tessa looked at Jem. His face was down, covered by his cloak.
"Jem," Tessa croaked. She was having a hard time trying not to cry. "Do you think you can play the violin? For Will?"
Will's head perked up. "Jem? Where?"
Tessa stifled a cry. "Right here. He's right here. Do you see him? Do you recognize him?"
"This man right here? This is Jem? Why does he look so different… He doesn't look like Jem. Am I just too sick? He looks like a Silent Brother. I don't understand." Will said in frustration. He coughed another time, and another until he stopped suddenly.
"Will?" Jem's voice cut through the air, thickening every second after it was said. It was unrecognizable, but at the same time, it sounded like the same Jem they know.
Will's head perked up. His eyes lightened with an air Tessa had never seen before. He seemed like the same boy he was over sixty years ago. "Jem! You're here. I can't believe it. I've missed you so much…" he tried sitting up, but fell back down on the bed in pain.
"May you please play the violin? My favorite song… Please?" Will begged, closing his eyes, waiting for Jem to start playing. Tessa knew he wouldn't, he couldn't, and she wondered how Will would react. She put her hands in her head, not knowing what to say until she heard a familiar low C sharp note being played perfectly on a violin. She looked up immediately, and saw Jem, not Brother Zachariah, she saw Jem, her beautiful Jem, with no cloak on, his radiant eyes back again, with tears glistening down his face. He was back, maybe not for long, but for now he was back, and Jem was crying, Tessa was crying, and Will was crying.
The trio was going to be broken apart soon. The violin was playing, Will's favorite song, and they just sat and listened. Tessa couldn't look at Will, but she saw all he was looking at was her. The violin song finished, and Jem sat back down.
Jem stood up after he finished playing. He put the violin down in the corner and walked over to Will. "Oh Will," Jem said. "Thank you for helping me live some of my long life to the fullest. I know you have lived it to the fullest, and I'm sorry for not being there for some of it. This world will be different knowing you aren't here to walk upon it." Tessa could see he was crying, she can see how even though he was a Silent Brother, he can still feel, and her heart filled with love in that moment. Her Jem was never gone.
Not knowing what to do next, Jem left the room. "I'll see you soon, Will."
The door closed, and Tessa moved closer to Will, who now was breathing slower and slower as every minute passed by.
Before she got to sit, Will spoke. "It saddens me deeply how soon, I will not be able to see your beautiful face, I will not be able to hear your beautiful voice, and I will not be able to be with your beautiful personality, Tessa. I keep thinking of the fact that you showed me meaning and purpose in life, and now, I am dying." Will punched the bed weakly with his fists out of pure frustration. "I know you do not want me to, and Tessa, I am trying so hard not to, but death is inching closer and closer to me time is going on, and I cannot stop it. Tessa Herondale, Tessa Gray, Tes," he said while looking deeply in her eyes. "It has been the privilege and honor of my life to know you."
"I only wish you would not speak of dying," Tessa said, with glistening eyes. "But even for that, yes, I know how you are with your words, and, Will- I love all of them. The silly ones, the mad ones, the beautiful ones, and the ones that are only for me. I love them, and I love you."
"Alright then," Will said. "I will not speak of dying. I will talk about demon pox."
"Demon pox?" Tessa questioned. "What does demon pox have to do with anything?"
"Demon pox has something to do with everything. When news of my death spreads, which I'm sure it will- I am very popular, if you didn't know, I would like you to tell everyone that I died of demon pox. Especially Gabriel Lightwood. Can you do that for me?" he touched her wrist gently.
"Yes," she grinned despite the situation. "I will."
"Tessa, I wish I could be with you. Life is a book, and there are one thousand pages I have not read yet. You will get to read these pages, including an epilogue and maybe a sequel," he laughed swiftly and continued. "No one can say that death found in me a willing comrade, or that I went easily. I will keep fighting this, for you, for Jem, for Magnus, for Cecily, for everyone."
"Will," Tessa said gently. "I see how much you are suffering. I do not wish for you to go on. I cannot see you like this… You have not had training for years. It is killing you. Do it for me. I just," she paused. "I need you to do for me what I cannot do for myself. For you to be my eyes when I do not have them. For you to be my hands when I cannot use my own. For you to be my heart when mine is done beating. I want you to watch over me, keep me safe. For your time has ended, and my time will never end. As much as it pains me to say it, you cannot go on. You are in pain, but you keep denying it. Please, Will. Do not let yourself suffer."
He nodded stiffly. "If what I understand you are saying is true," there was a pregnant pause. "You wish to take me off of the medicine that has been keeping me alive."
She managed to nod, not looking at him.
After a deep silence, Will spoke. "I give you my permission." she looked up at him, and they stared at each other with love, fear, and heartbreak.
"I don't know what else to say right now," Tessa admitted. "I cannot express what I have to say in words."
"Don't say it in words," he said. "Kiss me, please."
By the time everyone said their private goodbyes, Will's medicine was wearing off quickly. Everyone went into the room, where Tessa, Jem, and Magnus were kneeling next to the sullen face and frail body of Will Herondale.
"He's actually going to die, isn't he? The medicine is gone..." Magnus said, with his face in his hands. "I always thought he would never die. He just seemed immortal to me, you know?"
"I know what you mean… He seemed immortal to all of us. Time passed by, ten years, twenty years, forty years, and he never changed. Physically, yes, but that does not mean anything. Our Will will still be our Will, wherever we are. Wherever he is." Jem said while grabbing Will's hand. Tessa grabbed the other, and Will raised his head.
"Magnus," he greeted. "Thank the heavens I'm not dying of demon pox. Nasty thing. You did see the Lightworm's father, correct?"
"Oh, Will," he said. "Even in death, you find something to poke laughter at. The world is doing a big injustice with you gone."
"My time has come, Magnus. But, thank you for your kind words. I will miss you." Tessa grabbed his hand stronger.
"Well, Will Herondale, I will leave you alone with Tessa and Jem. It has been an honor knowing you. Tell Max and Jessamine I say hello." Magnus left the room, and looked back. There was a tear coming out of his right eye, which he didn't wipe off until he got into the other room. The door shut and a heartbreaking silence passed through the air.
"I'm surrounded by the only two people I need in my life. Even if my life is coming to a close, you both have saved me time and time again. When I am watching over both of you, I want you to know I will always be here for you. Anything that I now do will never, ever repay you for what you have done for me." Will said, his voice becoming softer and softer after each word.
"Oh," Tessa said. She started to silently cry. "What will I do here without you? What will I do when you aren't next to me when we wake up in the morning? What will I do when you aren't sitting on our bed, sharpening your seraph blades? What will I do when Jem goes back to being a Silent Brother? What will I do when you won't be here anymore?"
"I will always be here, Tessa. Please, stop speaking about death. I want our last moments together to be happy. I love you both so much." Will said. He wanted to also say, "I also cannot wish to be a skull in the City of Bones. If you ever miss me, find me down there," but he couldn't. Will stopped talking, and started to breath heavily, until he stopped. They knew his time was over.
She stifled a cry. "I love you Will Herondale," Tessa said. Her hands shook as she touched the side of his jaw. He was gone now. "May you forever live in peace." Her head fell to down to his shoulder, as she cried in grief over the death of her first and only true love.
Jem was staring at Will, tears falling freely as he said shakily, "Ave Atque Vale. Hail and Farewell."
A/N: Thank you for reading! Have a great day.