Freudian Slip
Rated: R to be safe.
Category: Angst, Mal/Zoë UST, Mal/Inara UST.
Spoilers: The Train Job
Summary: Mal's Mind Is One Sadistic Entity. Too Bad Its Victim Is Mal.
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Malcolm Reynolds lay in his bunk staring at the patch of Serenity's hull that served as his ceiling.
He stared at it a good, long time before he suddenly winced and clamped his eyes shut.
"Don't think on it," he mumbled, as he rolled over onto his side.
Yeah, don't think on it, his inner self agreed. Don't mean nothin'.
Mal rolled over again, wishing the voice in his head would shut up. When his cheek touched his pillow as he moved, he grimaced.
It hurt.
It hurt a good bit, truth be told.
Yes! screamed the inner demon. Think on that instead.
Think on her instead.
Think on perfect curves under red satin.
Think on the pain; on how her eyes flashed when she hit you. Think on how it made you angry but you liked it all the same.
Think on her.
Not the other.
Think on her.
Mal felt his body start to respond to his thoughts, and a slow grin spread over his face. Even with the baggage these ideas usually brought with them threatening to overwhelm him, he couldn't help but smile. This was a vast improvement to his situation, at least to his way of thinking.
He moved a hand under his covers as his mind swirled with images of Inara - all dolled up and then not so much - and he couldn't help but help himself.
Later, Mal was much more relaxed, and he was still grinning. He'd kept his demon at bay for the moment, and that counted as a win in his book. He slowly drifted toward sleep.
He was almost gone - he'd almost made it - when a wisp of a thought betrayed him.
See? Was that so hard?
Mal groaned as he felt sleep slipping from him. His treacherous mind didn't help matters any.
It really is best that way. Best to think on her.
Not the other.
Never the other.
Never on the words that came too easy.
Never on the cover that was no cover at all.
Too late, Mal realized he'd done just that. He was wide awake, and six words ran through his mind over and over. A measly half-dozen words kept him up long into the night. Again.
Whatever happens, remember I love you.