OMG IT'S A SEQUEL!!!

Yup, this is a sequel to "What the Heck is Wrong With these People?" if you haven't read it yet, you should. Otherwise, you won't get it.

By the way, if you don't celebrate Christmas, we don't want to hear you complaining about being "politically correct" because WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!!! YAAAA!!! SANDWICHES!!!

Anyway, enjoy! :)

~Emmy and Maddie~

Emaddie POV

"WORK FASTER, ROSALIMMELISLEMESPERWARD!" I yelled at her, angry at her slow-paced labor. "WE HAVE A HOUSE TO DECORATE!"

"But I gotta pee!" she yelled, tangled in the Christmas lights.

"Here, catch!" I told her, throwing a bottle up the ladder she was on.

"What's this for?" she stared at the bottle like she was expecting it to warp into a dog.

"To pee in, idiot!"

"EEEEWWWW!!!" she screamed, throwing the bottle back to me.

"Suit yourself, because you don't get a break until all of it is done!"

"Why don't you help?" she glared at me.

"I am helping!" I told her. "I'm supervising!"

"Oh, good point…" she said, staring into space. "Hey, where are you going?"

"To pee," I said, as I walked into the house to find Jasper looking around. "Hey, Uncle Jasper, what'cha doin? "

"Trying to find my Patrick Swayze Poster. He's yummy." He walked off, searching in the ladybug exhibition room. "Aha!" He skipped out of the room and into the bathroom. I didn't want to know what he was gonna do in there.

I walked upstairs into momma's bathroom, but she was already in there, gnawing on Daddy's favorite My Little Pony doll. I sighed and decided to just go in Esme's prized shrub. It wasn't like anyone was going to see me. As I stepped outside, I noticed that all of the high school kids were conveniently playing duck, duck, goose in our backyard.

I knew that this meant one thing: I had to use the Forbidden Bathroom. Momma said that it belonged to a guy whose name rhymed with Schmedward and that he was super gay, whatever that means. Now it belongs to Jasper and no one goes in there but him.

As I approached the hot pink door covered with caution tape, I stopped to take a reflection on life before I plunged into the unknown depths of Jasper's bathroom. Nothing would ever be the same after that trip. And with that, I stepped inside.

Before I knew it, I was bombarded with the reek of Clinique Happy. It clung to my clothes and my hair. I nearly gagged at the terribly girly smell. I was horrified at all of the boy band posters dated all the way back to the sixteen hundreds. One was called the "Ballroom Boys." I resisted the urge to scream bloody murder. I sat down on the toilet as fast as I could and peed. Then I remembered that I forgot to pull my pants down. I didn't care; I had to get out of there before I killed myself from all of the pink frilly things. When I finished, I ran out of there, not bothering to open the door. I felt the door crack and give out under my weight. I fell face first on the ground. Jasper stood over me, smiling. "Are you alright, Emaddie?" I then proceeded to scream, making a mad dash up the stairs.

I ran straight into my room and slammed the door. I collapsed to the ground dragging myself to the darkest corner of and room and getting in fetal position, rocking back and forth. "I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas," I muttered to myself over and over again, a crazed look on my face. About an hour or so later, I remembered Rosalimmelislemesperward was still outside, decorating the house.

I stood up and changed out of my soiled pants, replacing them with new ones and heading out of my room, shivering from my latest trauma. I saw Jasper looking around, lifting up the couch to look for something. "What'cha looking for, Jasper?"

He continued looking. "I was looking for Alice. I can't seem to find her anywhere."

I laughed nervously, my eyes darting around the room. "Really, I-I just saw her like, five minutes ago."

"Oh, alright, where'd you see her?" Crap. I thought to myself, panicking.

"Umm… she was in the… kitchen…? Looking for the… gargoyle?" I said, unsure that he would buy it. Little did I know, Rosalimmelislemesperward was such an idiot that she came back inside looking for me.

"I thought we chained her up, taped over her mouth, and strapped her to the ceiling because we wanted to decorate and not her!" Even though I kept signaling her to shut up, she kept blabbing. "Did you let her go?"

Jasper looked up to find chains hanging down and claw marks in the drywall, but no Alice.

"Doo doo cupcakes!" I screamed, running in circles. It was then that Carlisle walked in, wearing his formal Speedo. I hadn't seen this one in a while, because he usually wears his Speedo with flames on it that says "Flaming Hottie." This one was black with a big white bowtie over his "unmentionables."

"Nice Speedo, Carlisle," Jasper said, a little too girly for a guy. I mean, this is sick.

"Thanks, I got this one at Tootsie Pop: Lingerie for Men, it was half off!"

"Ooh, smart shopper you are! Does your main 'ho ho ho' love it?"

Carlisle gave him a funny look. "What are you trying to imply? That I am a jolly man?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Never mind," he said, walking away.

Rosalimmelislemesperward turned to me. "We need to get Alice before she goes on a decorating rampage all over Forks. "

"You're right, we mustn't be outdone!"

Before we could make a start for the door, Carlisle stopped us. "Nuh-uh, girls, I know what you did to Alice and you aren't going anywhere. Go to your rooms, now."

"But we were doing good for her sanity! Don't you remember what happened last Christmas?" I said sweetly, going into flashback mode.

Garland completely covering the ceiling. Dozens of trees, nailed to the wall, sticking straight out. Ornaments were everywhere, one after another, after another. Enough lights to make a blind man see, an epileptic man seizing on the floor. Alice crouched in the corner, pupils dilated, twitching at the slightest movement.

"Are you in some hippy dippy mushroom flashback, or something?" Carlisle said, jolting me back to reality.

"Um, I guess," I said, unsure of what that was.

"Whatever. To your rooms, NOW!" He yelled, and we could tell he was serious. It's a shame he didn't know that we had built secret doors just for dramatic escapades such as this one.

The two of us stood on the side of a road, thumbing for a ride. A Volkswagen Van pulls up to us and a window rolls down. A hippie stared back at us, a dopey grin on his face. "The name is Wavy Gravy, come on in."

"Wavy Gravy?" Rosalimmelislemesperward said, like she was expecting more.

"That's my name, don't wear it out."

"Wait, how can you wear a name out?" she asked. Wavy Gravy pondered that for a moment. He concentrated so hard, he seemed constipated. I sighed and got in the van, Rosalimmelislemesperward following. Most of our trip was silent until Wavy Gravy turned around to look at us.

"Whoa, since when have you guys gotten in my car?" he asked.

I gave him a funny look. "Uh, we've been in here for about twenty minutes."

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you, I'm Wavy Gravy." This happened three more times. I was ready to take Wavy Gravy and punt him across a football field and then run him over with a steamroller ten thousand times. Eventually, I screamed at him to pull over and we got out, conveniently right next to a home Christmas light decorating business.

"What are we going to do to compete with Alice? We don't have anything to decorate with!"

"Oh yes we do," I told her, looking at the business with ideas churning in my head.

"I know that look!" Rosalimmelislemesperward stated. "You have… a burrito in your pocket!" she looked longingly at my pocket, and then tried to tackle me, reaching for it.

"No, stupid," I said, shoving her off of me. "I have a plan."

Rosalimmelislemesperward POV

I zoned out as Emaddie intercepted a van coming into the parking lot. Next thing I knew, I was in a uniform for a decorating service, a fake mustache on my lip, and riding in the passenger's seat as Emaddie drove a van from the same decorating service. After a long drive, we got out and rang the doorbell of house number one. The door opened and out came a woman with a light up Christmas sweater complete with dancing gingerbread men and reindeer.

"Oh, hi! Are you here to decorate?" she asked.

"Yes ma'am," Emaddie replied in her best manly voice. I was kind of freaked out about how deep it was. It reminded me of a tuba. Ha-ha, tubas...

"Alright then, do whatever you think would look best on my house, but wait, aren't you a little short to be adults?" she asked in a suspicious tone.

"Are you biased against short people?" I said in a shrill voice. Emaddie landed a hard, quick kick to the back of my leg. "OW! I mean," I cleared my throat. "Are you making fun of us because of our size? Huh?" I said in a much deeper voice, attempting to look intimidating.

It was then that we heard the screams from next door. Emaddie, looking frightened, stared at the long row of houses, all having trees sticking out from the sides.

"I think we found her," Emaddie plainly stated.

"Found who?" I was thoroughly confused, because I didn't think we were looking for anyone.

"Alice, idiot!" then I remembered why we were doing this in the first place. "We have to compete!" she screamed at me, grabbing garland and running in circles around the house to wrap it.

"Oh, right, I knew that!" I said, my voice cracking a bit. I sounded like a boy hitting puberty. The lady gave me a funny look and I smiled at her before slamming the door in her face.

I set off to work tying a giant ribbon in a bow on top of the house, along with a big inflatable Santa doing the funky chicken. I was busy hanging Christmas lights up on the next house when I began to shake. It was a small trembling at first, but it grew stronger and stronger. I was now shaking violently, and I didn't know why. I fell off of the ladder I had been standing on and landed into the snowman shaped bushes that Emaddie had created. I looked up to see Alice grinning evilly, insanity twisting and tangling up her usually neat hair. Never in my whole life had I seen Alice's hair tangled. If the slightest knot developed, she would make this weird strangled scream and run to her room with her arms flailing in the most unladylike way, not coming out for a week. It was then that I knew what was happening.

Alice had made me fall! She shook the ladder! I ran to see Emaddie sculpting a giant reindeer in record timing. Her long brown hair was starting to fall out of her hat and her mustache was only half on her face.

"Watch out for Alice, she has lost the last bit of sanity!" I called up to her.

"It's not like she had any to begin with," Emaddie said to herself while working on the antlers. She looked down at me. "Don't worry about her and just get back to work!"

I did, going quicker than I thought that I could over every house left in the neighborhood. There was lights, inflatable reindeer, bows, trees, and garland all over every house, making this usually dull street seem festive and jolly. Even Mr. Fluffernutter, the Newton's second new puppy was wrapped in lights, unable to walk.

While Alice was busy admiring her work, Emaddie pounced. She tied up Alice, but this time we let her decorate a dollhouse with string, sticks and small plants. Halfway through the drive home, I turned around to see tiny Christmas lights on the house, a little garland wreath on the door, miniature inflatable snowmen on the roof, and a small radio so the lights could flash in time with the music. To this day, I still have absolutely no idea how she did that. She was kept busy until we got to the house, though, where we shoved her in the door and ran, through our secret passageways, back to our rooms.

A few minutes later, Carlisle walked into my room.

"Alice showed up again, so you can come out now," He told me, looking quite relieved.

"Oh, alright!"

"Now that we're free, we can do some more decorating!" Emaddie said as she walked in.

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"