Pairing: Taizuu & Count D (elder)

Rating: G

More gobs of angst. Oh well. Let me know! I live for comments.

PSOH 'Absence'

With a heartfelt sigh, the Count sat, resting his tired feet on the little footstool before his favorite armchair. His son was fed, bathed and settled in for the evening, the Pets had received their nightly care, and all was quiet on the home front.

It was ten o'clock and finally time to read the letter his grandson had sent, tucked in the bottom of the box filled with goodies from Japan. He'd unpacked it earlier, with Young D's help, exclaiming in delight over the kimono and the black cast iron teapot while his son had been busy gobbling up all the Pocky.

The heavy vellum crinkled when he slit it open. It was D's Shop stationary, the kind he used for communications to prominent clients, and it contained a folded sheet of the Count's engraved notepaper, wrapped around a smaller, standard-sized envelope.

D took a sip of his cooling tea, and turned up the lamp, settling down to read what his grandson had written:

Dear Grandfather,

I hope this finds you well, as always. I have sent a few mementos of my stay here, including a sampling of the ubiquitous Japanese snacks for Father, and a kimono, returning your favor of so long ago. Also, Taizuu wished me to enclose his letter to you, which I have done, somewhat reluctantly. I really don't believe you should encourage him to this extent, particularly as you seldom visit. He is pale, and has been out-of-sorts for the entire three months since you departed. I am not sure if he is eating properly.

In any case, I have taken pity on him this one time, as he was so insistent. He remains in the dark as to your exact location, and I have convinced him that you own neither a cell phone nor a computer, so he is unable to disturb you in any way other than by mail. That should prevent any complications in the future.

Do let me know what you wish me to do about him. I vastly appreciate his transformation into a more patient and forbearing landlord (all due to your most excellent influence, no doubt!), but still, he is depressing, always popping in on the odd chance you might have returned for a visit and then hanging about, moping. I'd welcome a chance to further depress his hopes...with your express permission, of course.

Please relay my regards to dear Father, and my wish for his continuing good health (and good grades – do remind him 'elementary school is important!') I have recently been in touch with my old friend, the American detective (I'm sure you remember Detective Orcott) and he tells me that young Christopher still boasts that my tutoring and insistence on good study skills were the impetus for his advanced academic placement in high school and subsequent early acceptance to Harvard. The Detective, by the way, sends his regards.

With best wishes for the success of your Shop, I remain,

Your Humble Grandson,' D', styled 'Count'

The Count laughed for several minutes after he'd read D's missive, rather heartily…and then stifled it, for fear that Young D should wake.

In a way, it was a relief to learn his grandson had finally gotten back in touch with his 'old friend,' that upstart policeman. No doubt the two of them were thick as thieves again, but the Count was no longer concerned. The boy was quite old enough by now to know his own mind. Besides, he remembered Leon Orcott quite well – he'd yet to meet a more determined, unswerving, obstinate individual in this lifetime. If Orcott had finally tracked down young D, then there was nothing more to be done about it. He washed his hands of the entire affair, glad to be done with babysitting his wayward grandson.

Taizuu, however, was quite another matter. He rather missed the young pup – to his great and unwilling surprise. He'd thought he'd quickly forget Neo Chinatown's owner, caught up in his hectic life as the father of an active nine-year-old – and his thriving business. D.C. had turned out to be a veritable hotbed of wealthy clients. They practically streamed through his doors, buying all manner of his more exotic Pets. But Woo Fei had stayed stuck in his mind, especially as D recalled him from the last day, the day he'd left for the States.

"B-but I-I l-l-like y-you!" the young man had stuttered insistently, his face buried in the Count's long fingers, clutching them as though they were his keys to heaven. "P-please don't leave!"

Woeful puppy dog eyes silently pleaded with him when Taizuu finally looked up from his kneeling position at the Count's feet, his normally composed face chalk-white and strangely vulnerable without his wire-rim glasses. The boy had looked awful, his clothes thrown on haphazardly, big dark circles under his eyes. The Count felt a modicum of guilt, but still…as much as he'd enjoyed the little thrill of ensnaring his grandson's arrogant landlord, he hadn't meant to do any real damage. Taizuu had obviously taken his teasing a little too seriously. It was unsettling, for the elder Count knew he had no time to pursue a fling – Young D was waiting none too patiently at home.

The landlord's haggard face had fallen when the Count shook his head in a determined 'no', tugging his manicured hands away. Woo Fei had grabbed at D's knees then, wrapping his arms around them tightly, hiding his misery in the black-clad lap before him.

"At least say you'll be back, Count!" he appealed, voice muffled. "You can't just go! I won't let it happen!"

"Dear boy," the Count had replied in a soothing tone, "I simply must. I have obligations that compel me and, while of course I shall never forget you—"

"Don't forget me!" Taizuu interjected, hugging harder. The compulsive squeeze tipped the Count off-balance and he'd grabbed at Woo Fei's broad shoulders solely to stay upright.

"Taizuu!"

"You're not allowed to forget me!"

"—I have a business to run and a child to care for—"

"Child?" Woo Fei had looked up again, clearly startled. "Y-you're married?"

"No, no! Of course I'm not. But I do have a young son, currently staying with his nanny, and I must return without delay. As much as I've enjoyed meeting you—"

"Can I come with you, then?" Woo Fei asked, finally loosening his death grip on D's knees. His chocolate brown eyes were blindingly expectant. D caught his breath at the depth of emotion and sighed heavily, well aware he wasn't making any progress getting through to this determined young man.

"No! To tell the truth, I…I am very busy these days – overrun with clients, really – and a stranger visiting the Shop would make my son most uncomfortable. Taizuu, you must just agree that this will be just too difficult; long distance relationships seldom work out—"

"Then call me. Send me emails. I'll pay for the phone charges—" Clearly, Woo Fei wasn't agreeing to anything of the sort.

"No. No, Taizuu. I am not so technologically advanced and the phone is most difficult. Really, you must forget—"

"I can't—!" Taizuu looked down, his face stiff with angry impatience, shifting uncomfortably under the slight weight of the Count's hands on his shoulders. D had quite forgotten he still had them there and would have pulled them away, had Taizuu's next words not caught his attention. "You don't understand, do you?"

"Really, Taizuu there's nothing to understand," the Count began, but Woo Fei was mumbling something softly into his lap.

"—see, I never really had…someone…that I liked…before. My father – well, my father kept us all at home in the compound. Oh, we had tutors and housekeepers and bodyguards, but our mothers didn't get along, so I grew up pretty much by myself, isolated from the people who were tied closest to me by blood. Then Father shipped me off to boarding school in England, where I didn't know a soul. My so-called 'friends' there were all the sons of businessmen, powerful men like Father – we weren't anything other than symbols of their wealth, paraded around at Eton and Oxford, learning English, learning how to blend in with the most sophisticated of the well-to-do. We were there to network with each other – so we could do business in the future, be 'Old Boys.' No one dared to get close to me, anyway – Father was afraid I'd get kidnapped, so I was guarded day and night. Not that he actually cared if I lived or died – he ransomed me only to 'save face', or at least's that's what he told me the first time it happened. You see, there's three sons other than me; I just happened to be the eldest."

"Ah—" breathed the Count, his sympathy aroused despite his prior firm intention to force this misguided fool away from his side. Without even thinking about it, his hands moved to rub Taizuu's tense shoulders, easing the rigid muscles.

"When I met you…when I met you," Woo Fei continued in a low voice, his mouth moving against D's thigh, hot breath warming the skin beneath the silk, "I was…charmed. You grabbed all of my attention. I couldn't stop thinking about you, even though it made me angry. I wanted to see you again. I wanted to talk to you, take you places, bring you presents, see you smile… at me," Taizuu laughed ruefully.

"You know, my father had promised to arrange a good marriage for me if I did well here in Japan – I thought I was okay with that for a long time, 'cause I didn't know any better. Not until I met you."

"Taizuu!" the Count exclaimed, realizing suddenly that he was feeling entirely too much sympathy for the young man before him.

"You must realize I am hardly suitable? I'm certainly not a well- connected female, I am considerably older than you, and I'm not the slightest bit interested in dealing with a family as rigid as yours! I wouldn't care about furthering your political connections or pandering to your father's need for power! To put it simply, I am the exact opposite of everything you should want in a lover, a partner. Admit it, Taizuu, this strange affection for me is most likely just some form of unconscious rebellion against your family. More than understandable, I suppose, but still, I don't wish you to make such a mistake with your future—"

"It's not a mistake, D!" Woo Fei insisted, his hands gripping D's thighs. "I know how I feel, damn it, and I can tell you I am not making a mistake! I don't give a snap for my father's arranged marriage, anyway. Not one of those women ever came close to making me feel the way you do – and I'm not giving it up just because it isn't 'acceptable'!"

"No! How many times must I say it before you understand?" the Count cried out, struggling up and out of the armchair, despite Taizuu's best efforts to keep hold of him. He walked away, presenting his obdurate back to Woo Fei.

"Now, listen, Taizuu. I may be back in Japan to visit, at some future date. If I am, I may see you, if you sincerely promise me not to pursue this further. I cannot, in good conscience, allow you to believe that we shall ever have such a thing as a 'relationship'…but I do enjoy your company and I don't wish to entirely disregard your so-called 'feelings.' I'm sure that, with time, your desire will mellow and you'll come to see me as nothing more than a friend. In the meantime, I'll not allow any physical familiarity, nor can you profess your 'love' for me. If you can manage that much, then I'll be in touch – at my convenience," D informed Woo Fei firmly, his tone brooking no opposition.

"Ah? We can't date?"

The Count shook his head emphatically. Taizuu eyed his rigid stance and clenched hands, slowly accepting that perhaps he ought to back off a bit. Rome, after all, had not been conquered in just one day. Better to wait and fight again some other day.

"But…but I can still see you, right? If I don't try anything—"

"If, and only if, you don't," the Count confirmed.

"Oh," Taizuu said, rising to his feet. He came forward a few steps, but not enough to alarm his Count.

"I see. Alright, then, if that's the way you want it. I'll be good, I promise. But you have to promise to come visit me sooner rather than later. If I'm only supposed to be friends with you, then we have to see each other enough for me to get used to it. "

Not for nothing was Taizuu a shrewd negotiator.

"Make sure you are 'good' and then we'll see," the Count replied shortly, annoyed but still feeling rather guilty. Besides, it was rather flattering to be so desired. He hadn't allowed that to happen for a very long time.

His grandson had arrived the very next moment, ready to send him on his way. Taizuu was hurriedly dismissed, the elder Count escorting him to the door in an entirely unruffled manner, just as if they hadn't been wrestling the terms of their relationship down to the mat moments before. He'd even pecked Taizuu's cheek, the tiniest, briefest brush of red lips across rough morning stubble. It had made poor Taizuu blush a fiery red that rivaled the sunrise.

It had been the last D had seen of Neo Chinatown's owner for three long months. He'd been positive he'd preferred it that way.

But the second letter still lay on his lap, where he'd discarded it.. It nagged at him, just as Taizuu's lonely eyes had, haunting his dreams intermittently, making him feel as though he should be doing something about it, though he couldn't have said exactly what.

The Count briefly considered tossing the letter unread….but he rather owed the young man at least a modicum of respect. His feelings had been overwhelmingly sincere. Besides, it would be awkward if he run into Taizuu when he visited young D again.

Better to read it, then, and get it over with. It was more than time to draw this stillborn romance to a close.

"My Dear Count" Taizuu's letter began:

….I hope you are well and healthy. I do know you're somewhere in the United States, but your grandson has neglected to tell me precisely where, so I cannot speculate on your climate. I hope that your weather is good, though, and that you are comfortable.

Tokyo is wet and dreary – it's the rainy season. Despite the weather, Neo Chinatown's shops are doing quite well. We even have several new tenant shopkeepers, though none so interesting as your grandson…and you.

The Count smiled wryly. How sly of dear Taizuu to circle around a compliment like that. So clever.

I traveled back to Beijing recently. Father called me home to review my progress. It's likely that I'll be allowed to purchase another building for the expansion of the business. Thankfully, he did not make mention of any marriage, so I have a reprieve, at least for now. My second youngest brother is his new favorite – he had something to do with arranging the contractors for the new Olympic buildings, generating much income and many favors, so he's the one in Father's eye right now, for which I am profoundly grateful.

When I returned home last week I came across the mask you so kindly lent me for the party we attended, which, oddly enough, was stuffed under my bedside table. I have no idea of how it got there, but I've boxed it and will keep it safe for your return.

Ahhh, here we go, thought the Count ruefully. Now it begins. He resolved to keep a firm lid on any errant sympathy he might feel for Taizuu. He was supposed to breaking it off, not encouraging it.

The last few months have been very quiet and uneventful for me. I have taken to using the exercise facilities at Neo Chinatown to work off my excess energy, of which I seem to have a great deal. I suppose I am bored…and lonely.

There is a spa in Neo Chinatown, too, which you might find more appealing. Also, the Count told me in passing of a bakery around the corner of which you are particularly fond. I have purchased it (as a side venture of course), to ensure that it's still open when you come visit. The shopkeepers there are quite elderly, but the husband makes a most delicious cheesecake, and he tells me it freezes well. I have some put aside for you.

Cheescake? wondered D. The same mouthwatering confection he'd indulged in the day before he left? Oh my!

I was thinking that, since there are two spare bedrooms here at my apartment and as it might be a little crowded at the Shop when you next visit, you'd be more than welcome to bunk with me. There is room enough here for your son, too, so please don't hesitate on that account. I'd actually be glad of the company and, although I'm not terribly comfortable with children, I think I'd enjoy having your son stay here, as he is yours. I'm sure he's a most charming little boy.

Speaking of your next visit, when do you think that might be? Next week? Next month? I can meet you at Narita with the car if that's convenient for you. I'll be happy to have my secretary arrange the flight, too – at my expense. Or I could come there, to America. I've often wished to visit the U.S. – Wall Street in particular – so it would be no trouble for me to fly over at any time. Simply say the word.

The Count raised a mocking brow. Not so subtle now, was he? But very flattering, all the same.

But… perhaps that plan would be troublesome for you? Especially if your son is afraid of strangers. Naturally, I wouldn't plan on staying with you – a hotel will be fine. And it could as brief a visit as you like – two or three days, even. I suppose I'm just curious to see where you live, whether you're in a bustling city or out in the country somewhere. Do pardon my curiosity if it offends you. I am only wondering and I'd never drop by without an invitation. I simply enjoy travel – it broadens my horizons.

D chuckled out loud at Taizuu's verbal maneuverings. His young swain was as determined as ever, it seemed, even if he had to resort to rather obvious subterfuge.

Which brings me to real reason I am writing you: I wanted to tell you that I've missed you, every day, every minute. I long to hear your voice. Perhaps that isn't allowed by our agreement, but I want to hear it, even so. A phone call would be most appreciated. A photo would be nice, too. I miss your beautiful eyes, the shape of your face, the way you tilt your head when you laugh. I want to see them again, for real…but a photograph would do in the meantime. And if you'd put a dab of your perfume on the back, that would be even better, for then I could imagine you were here, with me.

Ah!

The Count felt an odd twinge in his midsection, right above his stomach. It grew, like Topsy, till his chest was tight beneath the silk and his breath became shallow. He read on, oddly fascinated by the words that summoned such a clear image of the young man waiting hopefully, so many time zones away, oddly afraid that he'd pick up the phone once those words had done their damage to his resolve, tell young D he was coming, and then just go.

Not that he would.

You said that this would ease with time, that I'd forget. I haven't, not one bit. I only saw you on four occasions, you know, but everything about you is burned into my brain, my very soul. I cannot forget you; I don't want to. When I run into your grandson at the Pet Shop, it makes me so sad, because for a second there I think I'm seeing you. But he doesn't hold a candle to the real thing, my dearest Count – there is no one else like you on this earth, no one else who can make me feel this way.

But don't worry – I'm mindful of your stipulations. I haven't forgotten for a minute that I'm not supposed to chase after you. I'll do nothing that would make you angry with me, trust me. Just please don't wait to come back because you're worried about how I'll react. I can control myself, you know. I've had years of practice at it, dealing with my family. I just want to be certain you're safe and well, see that with my own eyes…and you did promise me that I would meet you again soon.

I suppose that's all for now. I cannot write down here all that I want to say, for I'm sure you wouldn't really want to read it. Just know that I think of you, always, no matter how large the distance that separates us. I hope you think of me, too, now and then.

With fondest regards,

Woo Fei

Neo Chinatown, Tokyo

The Count closed his eyes tightly. Moisture filled them, and his golden irises were awash with unshed tears. Taizuu's letter rustled in his clenched fingers, the thin paper pierced through by long red nails.

He hadn't expected that, hadn't dreamed that Taizuu would still be so…so ardent! These humans were supposed to forget, leaving the Counts free to pursue their purpose. They weren't supposed to write affecting letters, filled with a love that was never explicitly stated, saturated with hope and longing and dreams of a future that simply could not happen.

And he was supposed to forget, as he always did, for their lives were so short and he couldn't keep them by his side anywhere near long enough. The ones he'd loved had always moved on, one way or another. It was downright mad to think of doing this again.

He had a child. He had the Shop, the Pets. He had a life here, one that he enjoyed. The absolute last thing he needed to be doing right now was travelling to Tokyo….

Young D would no doubt laugh at him. If Orcott was there, he'd likely laugh, too. And Woo Fei would never let him forget why he'd returned so soon, if he were so stupid as to admit it.

But.

On the other hand, his son hadn't seen Tokyo, the largest city in the world. He missed that cheesecake – it really was delicious. Taizuu could be 'handled' – he was a past master at that, if he did say so himself. And D would be happy to have his company; plus he'd have a marvelous opportunity to tease Leon unmercifully. It would be so good to see Tetsu and Pon-chan and all the old familiar faces and introduce them again to Young D.

But…..he'd decide in the morning. He could reread his letters then, and see how he felt in the bright light of day. Far better to put his first impulse behind him and decide rationally which course to take. Absolutely.

The Count told himself that twice more, with feeling, just before he picked up the phone.