I miss you

by ABeautifulMyth

My first Newtmas in English, hope you'll like it ! :) Don't hesitate to give me your opinions, that would be a pleasure :) /!\ WARNING /!\ SPOILERS 3rd BOOK /!\

i wish i'd never been me,

i wish we'd never been stuck in this Maze,

i wish the WICKED'd never used us for his fucking experiences,

i wish you'd never had the Flare,

i wish i'd be sick like you were too,

i wish i'd never known you,

i wish i'd never had to hold this gun in front of you,

i wish i'd never had to push the trigger,

i wish i'd never existed,

i wish none of this happened,

i wish you'd never existed too,

'cause then i could walk around without seeing us,

in every couple i see,

without feeling this heartache,

when i see them kissing,

without having those damned tears rolling down my face,

thinking of you,

but most of all, i wish i'd die too,

'cause then we could have been together,

that's how i saw my life,

'til that fucking, cursed day,

alive with you alive,

or dead with you dead,

but i had never imagined my life,

alive without you,

so now, i'm drowning in my ocean of tears,

suffocating in my pain,

and nobody can do anything for me,

'cause you were the only one that could have rescued me,

and you're gone,

i don't care for being immunized,

i don't care for having a good life,

'cause i would give it to anyone,

i would give anything, even my life,

to have you back again,

i miss you, Newt,

i miss you so much.