A/N: Hello everyone. C: I haven't published anything in forever, so sorry. The last time I really posted a fic here... Er.. -Scratches head- I believe I was in 6th grade. Maybe 7th, somewhere around there, eheh (I'm in 10th now, if you're curious). My interests changed like the seasons, but I actually got a chance to type something out now! This idea came to me when I was listening to this one song... My Love, by Sia. Yeah, this is a bit of an odd pairing that I'm using, but hopefully this fic'll make it work. (I roleplay as Yukari, actually. X3 This is kind of a test to see if I can write her character good enough. Did I mention I'm dating a Shinjiro? Well, personally I am. 8D OOC, ofc.)
ANYWAY.
Obviously, I'm not gonna make those two do anything sexual in this fic. xD The way I had it planned out hadn't called for that.
Flamers will be Garudyne'd.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Persona 3. (If I did, there wouldn't be so much sadness. :C)
"Takeba... I know this may be sudden of me to say, but... I'm asking everyone to write a letter to Aragaki. A tribute, you might call it. I understand your pain, and you may refuse if you wish, but... It would mean something. A lot. Please, give it some thought."
The words of Mitsuru Kirijo, spoken only an hour ago, had filled the mind of 16 year old Yukari Takeba from top to bottom, echoing repeatedly until her head felt as if it could burst. She was hurting, as was the rest of the group, over the loss of her comerade and one of the closest people in her life, Shinjiro Aragaki, who had died only a week ago. But to her, it felt like forever.
Now, she sat crosslegged on her bed, as rain poured down outside her bedroom window. The only actual light in the room was coming from her laptop screen, placed right in front of her. WordPad was open, but no words had been typed. She couldn't put exactly how she felt in writing. It was much too deep to express in words, but... she had given her word to Mitsuru-senpai that she would at least try.
No matter how hard it was.
And so, her hands began to glide across the keyboard, likening her memories to words.
I hadn't known you very long, but for some reason, it feels like I knew you for almost ever. I mean... you saved my life, after all. So, I guess I should start by saying thank you for what you did. The sacrifice you made, both now and back then.
That one night in June, Junpei, Minato and I had taken a trip to Port Island Station at night, for field research. Silly name, I know, but thinking back on it, it was my idea to begin with... Anyway, if it hadn't been for you, those punks would have done alot more damage. I can remember thinking, after we got home, "Hey, he actually seems kinda rough on the outside, but he's really nice deep down. If he wasn't, I doubt he would have saved us." Though when I pitched the idea to Minato, he looked at me like I was nuts...
I pushed the thought from my head, until when you showed up again in September, rejoining S.E.E.S. after quite some time apart. Deep down, I... guess I was kinda happy. You were reliable, I knew that firsthand. Everyone else knew, too.
We hadn't talked very much, to be honest. You always seemed like someone that would be hard to approach. I think, deep down, maybe I was scared you would reject me. I know, I know, sounds kinda cheesy, right? But that was how I felt at the time. You sure proved me wrong, though...
Yukari's hands came to a stop on her keyboard, as she read over what she had written. The memories of that night from so long ago filled her mind, and the face of her now deceased senpai was all she could see anymore. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes, and it took everything in her to bite back a sob that was threatening to come. She was sick and tired of losing people who meant something to her. Her dad, and now...
"Shinjiro-senpai... Why him? Why did he have to go, so soon?" she whispered to herself, hoarsely. This weakness wasn't something she could show to anyone, not now. Everyone was hurting, just as much as she was. She couldn't be a burden, she told herself. But that didn't make it hurt any less.
In his memory, she would keep writing, until her hands were sore and crippled, and all the feelings she wanted to convey were compacted into this letter. As hard as it was, her shaking hands continued typing.
The next time we actually had a chance to talk was... mid September, the time that started our short-lasting bond. I remember everything clearly. It was a day, kinda like this one... 9/18. The sky was almost black, though it was only about 6 or 7 o'clock. I had come home from club practice earlier than usual. No one was really home, except for you. When I close my eyes, all I can really hear or see is you, on that faithful day... Wait, did I really just write that? Anyway, how did the memory go... I believe it was...
Right, I remember now. I remember stopping dead in my tracks halfway in the front door. The lobby was empty, aside from you, Shinjiro-senpai. You were sitting on a stool, towards the back of the lobby, near where everyone usually ate. Your back was to me, and you didn't bother turning around. You only mumbled a quiet 'hey' in response. When I had asked where everyone went, you only told me that you didn't know, and that it wasn't really too important to begin with.
"Kind of a mean statement, don't you think?" I remember saying, as I shut the door behind me, and began to walk over to where you were. I set my bag down, then sat on the stool next to you. You still wouldn't meet my gaze.
"I ain't got a clue where they went," you had said. "All I know is, when I came back about an hour ago, it was empty like this."
"Oh... Well, they're probably off doing other things, then." I concluded. "It IS Saturday night, after all. Speaking of which, don't you do anything on weekends? Like, hanging out with friends?"
"... Nah. Not really." you replied. "Could ask you the same question, though..."
"I had practice tonight." I told you, smiling slightly. "Club takes up most of my time. But when I do have free time, I usually hang out with friends, or study, or whatever. Normal teenager, you know, aside from having 'superpowers' and all."
I'm still not sure to this day, but back then, I could have sworn I saw you smirk, from the corner of my eye. Curiousity had struck me like an arrow when I saw that. I guess... well, I wanted to talk to you more. So I did.
"You never answered me, though." I pointed out. "What do you do on weekends?"
"...Same thing I always do." you answered, after a long period of thought. You knew how to make me curious, that was for sure.
"And that is...?"
You finally looked at me. Deep down, way deep down, I can remember how it felt. Your gaze, for the first time since I'd met you, had a slight softness to it.
"... Why do you wanna know all of a sudden?" you asked me.
"Well..." I pondered a possible response, carefully. "We're um... we're subordinates, right? Might as well be friendly, I guess."
You only nodded, as the conversation fell back into silence. I still remember everything, the way you looked away from me right after I had said that, the quiet humming of the air conditioner on the other side of the room, our budding friendship... Okay, did I really just write that? I... guess I really do miss you...
Anyway. My next move was a daring one. Something kinda cheesy, like you'd see in a movie, but I couldn't help it.
"Hey, Shinjiro-senpai..." I quietly broke the silence.
You glanced over at me, as if waiting for me to continue. So I did. "I never... you know, got to repay you for saving me before... And Junpei and Minato too, of course. But neither of them are here right now..."
"... Your point being?"
My face flushed in embarassment. "L-Let me buy dinner, tonight. You know, for back then..."
Back then, I had been waiting for a no. I had been waiting for you to reject my offer, and for our budding friendship tonight to be snipped swiftly and smoothly at the bud. That was what I was expecting. But the answer you gave totally caught me off guard, and still has to this day.
"... Fine. But just this once."
At that point, my memories are fading into a montage of pictures. I remember the way my face broke out into a smile, and how you and I had walked all the way to the strip mall just to get a meal. You picked something nutricious, of course, and I can remember the way you eyed me carefully the whole time we sat there and ate, making sure I finished the whole thing. Which I did. We had talked slightly more freely then, about school, various things around town. Well, I guess it's safe to say I did most of the talking, and you did most of the listening, answering when needed. It was... pretty nice to have someone to actually listen to what I say, though. So I'd best thank you for that, too.
And thank you once more, for the week that followed.
After that night, I was eager to spend time with you. Tell me, Senpai, did you feel the same way towards me? I guess I'll never get an answer, now... Still, I remember how we had hung out the following day. That Sunday was interesting, I have to admit. You and I went to Paulownia Mall together... I can still remember the annoyed face you wore when I brought you into certain shops. Thinking back on it, that was pretty fun. Afterwards, there was Chagall Cafe. Again, I did most of the talking, but you didn't seem to mind.
Monday, Tuesday...You name it. That week was practically ours. I didn't really get a chance to go to club, either. The Culture Fest at school had been cancelled, and the archery range was stuck under water. Plus, it was pretty much a break in general. Those days, I spent with you. Sometimes indoors, sometimes outdoors. That Wednesday, you and Minato went to the movie theater for the one-day film festival. I didn't know what had happend, but when you both returned, you stood with your back to all of us. I didn't see your face that day, and I didn't quite know why.
As our days together moved on, you gradually began to open up to me, I think. You smiled a few times, maybe even chuckled once or twice. The more we hung out, the more it felt like a void I hadn't even known existed was filled.
Until 10/2.
Yukari stopped typing once more, wiping away the fresh, warm tears cascading down her cheeks. It was like she had typed, Shinjiro had filled a void within her that she hadn't really known existed. Smile and move on, that was what they said.
"But when I was with you..." she told herself, releasing a sob that blended in with the sound of the pouring rain. "I... didn't feel like I had to pretend... I must sound pretty stupid, huh? Talking to you like this again... It feels like nothings changed. I'd just talk, and you'd listen... Wait, you ARE listening, right? From wherever you are..."
She could only laugh at her own sorrow, as sad as it was. Resolve intact, Yukari brought her hands back to the keyboard.
"Feeling sorry for myself won't finish this letter... I'll finish it. I'll finish it for you."
10/2 was... well, it came as a shock to me. We had spent a great week and a half together, when one day, it wasn't me who came running up to you, wanting to go to the mall, or to the CD store, or wherever. You approached me that day, a dark expression on your face. Without a word, you gently took my hand, and guided me out of the lobby and up the stairs, the others watching us with a confused expression. You were silent as we walked, not releasing my hand, no matter how many times I had asked you what was going on.
At last, you stopped walking, and turned to look at me, at last letting go of my hand. We were standing in the second floor lobby, right towards the table near the middle.
"Senpai... What's going on?" I asked, frowning.
"...Haven't you wasted enough time on me, Takeba?" The question was blunt, and straight to the point. I remember the shock, confusion and hurt that had came over me when you asked. Still, your gaze did not falter, like mine did.
"Wasted time on you? You dragged me all the way upstairs to ask me about something that's obviously not-"
"... I ain't a nice guy." you swiftly cut me off. "That ain't a lie. You shouldn't be spending time with me like this, you should be with the others."
"Couldn't you have told me that before all this happend? Before we hung out together?"
"... You never gave me a chance-"
"That's just an excuse!" I snapped. "Did I do something to make you act like this?"
You simply shook your head, peering down at me, while I glared daggers into your soul. The rage was building up, so quick I didn't have time to think before my body moved on it's own. In one clean motion, I raised my hand up, ready to smack you for the way you suddenly turned on me, like a snake.
What happend instead surprised me like nothing else.
You caught my wrist, as if you knew it had been coming, then pulled me forward into your arms, in a tight embrace that said a thousand words. My rage had changed to confusion. Confusion as to why you had brought me here to begin with. Confusion as to why I was suddenly in your arms. Confusion as to why I felt the blood rush to my cheeks at your touch.
"This is your fault, you know..." you told me, in a soft voice. "I'm all confused... You're all I can think about, day and night... Dammit, it's not supposed to be like this..."
My heartbeat quickened at your words. I finally, finally understood what you were saying. The time we spent together, as short as it was, wound up turning into... dare I say it?
Love. Yes, love. I had fallen in love with you. And apparently you had with me. I seriously can't believe I just wrote that. If it wasn't for the fact that my face is already red and puffy enough as it is, I probably would be flushed... To be honest, I... think my dad might approve of you. Maybe. Can you do me a favor, and ask him for me?
Anyway, continuing with the memory. After a bit, you released me from your arms, and stared into my eyes, our gazes not breaking.
"...You get it, right?" you had asked me.
"If that's true..." My voice was somewhat shaky, nervous even. "Why did you try to push me away just a bit ago? That's so confusing!"
"... Because if I didn't, I probably wouldn't let you go."
Those, honestly, were all the words I needed to hear. You always did have a way with words.
"Then don't, Senpai."
"... Idiot."
This is a letter, not a romance novel... But I will say, that at that point, I was up against the side of the soda machine, and your lips were on mine, almost like in the Notebook... Gosh, I think I might be flushed even more, writing this...
Yukari stopped once more, reading over what she had written. The love she had for Shinjiro couldn't be expressed completely in this letter, it was too strong to be likened to words. Plus, she hadn't exactly been an A-student in Ms. Toriumi's class. But at least she was writing from her heart. She could retell her short-lived romance with him over and over, and each time, in her mind it would be fresh and amazing. That was how it was supposed to be, she believed.
The rain outside was coming down harder, and night had began to fall apon the town of Iwatodai. Thunder and lightning echoed as far as the eye could see, and for a moment she feared the power would go out.
Still, there was no more time left to lose. In about another hour, the Dark Hour would be apon the city. She couldn't write if her laptop was off. She would finish her letter to her deceased love, no matter what obstacle was in her way.
She had reached the final part. The conclusion, the final farewell.
"I'm ready, Senpai."
It was only two days later that I lost you.
The October full moon. The night you were shot by Takaya, twice in the chest. Myself and the others had arrived, just in time to witness your final moments. Like I remembered everything else about our history, this part was the most vivid. Your eyes, the eyes that I had stared into so many times, were now nearly drained of life. Blood stained your entire body, almost blending in with the dark red hues of your coat.
My world was ending right before my eyes.
I could only scream, and scream, until my lungs would collapse. But that wouldn't bring you back to life...
I'll never forget what you had said, right before you left the world. "Don't cry, Yukari. This is how it should be."
... I'm sorry. I was selfish. I just miss you, so much. So does everyone else. Especially Akihiko-senpai. He acts tough, but deep down I know he misses you. Alot. We all feel the same way.
That's why... I promise, I'll get rid of the Dark Hour and Tartarus, for both you and my dad. I'll work extra hard, so you won't have to worry about the fate of the world. You believe in me too, right? Just like I told you that I believed in you before. Please be with me, and the others too, while we fight to bring an end to all this. Rest easy! And eat lots of good meals in heaven... Wait, you'll probably the one making them, huh?
Thank you for everything, Senpai. The time we spent together has meant so much to me. Say hi to my dad, please, and tell him I miss him.
I love you.
- Yukari.
- 12 am -
A/N: Aaaaand... cut! Phew, it's like, nearly 4am here... I've been writing since about 9, nonstop. I put alot of effort into this, for real... Anyway, please review! 8D If you'd like any info about upcoming stories, or you'd like to make a request, or want me to finish any of my old stories, please send a message to my inbox. Thanks so much for reading. (I might plan a sequel to this... 8D A happy, romantic sequel with a resurrection scene!... Maybe.)