A/N - I am not new to writing fanfic, but I've never written for Veronica Mars. I've been wanting to for a few while and have finally decided to give it a go. Here's a tiny little one-shot to start me on my way. Let me know what you think!
The day is as sunny as the day she died, and I find myself blinking into the light as I slide from the cruiser. My heels sink into the ground as soon as I step into the grass, and I shift my weight to my toes to free them from the dirt. Lilly is going to spend forever in this dirt. I wish it could be just as easy to free her.
Her gravesite stands behind a gate, a hole in the ground near the graves of Kanes gone before. Their headstones stand tall, like soldiers in a row, sentries to Heaven for the spirits of those who have passed. There's no headstone for Lilly yet, nothing to identify the new grave as hers. Surely this hole isn't for my friend. It's not her style at all.
A door slams behind me and my dad rounds the car, fidgeting with the sleeves of his suit. I let my own door click shut softly, reverently, in a way that's surely more appropriate for our purpose in this place. Nothing loud or sudden is fitting for Lilly now.
The box holding my friend is dragged from the hearse and hoisted upon the shoulders of men and boys I've never met. They walk slowly, steadily through the stones, feet shuffling in the grass as they carry her. They make it look easy, carrying the casket, make it look as if she weights nothing at all. But the heaviness is on their faces, in their eyes, and it's obvious carrying Lilly isn't all about muscle.
A gentle hand at my back is all it takes for me to move and I walk with Lilly through the gates, into the last place we'll ever visit together.
She's lowered to the platform over her hole and the men who worked together to bring her here separate, leaving us nothing to look at but her casket. It's dark, formal, and looks out of place under the cloudless sky. For the first time, I wonder why it's not raining. The whole world knows about Lilly, why doesn't the weather?
I catch a glimpse of Duncan seated on the other side of the casket, staring blankly, sandwiched between his parents. I haven't seen him or talked to him in days, not since the night Lilly was found, but it wasn't for lack of trying. Every time I called he sent me straight to voicemail.
I press my toes to the ground to free my heels from the soil, and try not to listen too closely as the final readings begin. Those words are too final, meaning my time with Lilly is coming to an end, and I want nothing to do with them.
Anger flashes through me suddenly, surprising me, hot and fiery and at odds with the beautiful day. Why should this be the end? Why will I never get another moment to spend with my best friend? She was young, vibrant, beautiful, and she had her whole lives ahead of her. She had dreams, plans, ideas, and will never get to realize any of them. Why is this fair? Why is this happening? Why do I have to lose my best friend to formal boxes and dirt?
I tremble in my anger, feel ready to explode with it, when I catch sight of Logan. He's standing alone, only a short distance away, eyes locked on Lilly, tears on his cheeks.
My anger ebbs quickly, the fire extinguished with his tears, and I feel empty, hollow, nothing.
I close the distance between us, taking just a step in his direction, and slide my hand into his. He looks at me blankly for a moment, almost as if he's never seen me, before turning his eyes back to the box that holds his Lilly. I release his hand to pull him close with an arm around his waist, and he folds me into his embrace, tears dropping from his lashes to my hair.
The words sink in then, the ones I've been trying to avoid, and it's only a few moments before I'm shedding my own tears. All the questions, all the anger, can't change this. Lilly is gone. Her room will remain empty, her dreams will remain dreams, and I'll never hear her laugh again. I can visit her whenever I'd like, I know how to get to the cemetery, but coming here won't be coming to my friend. It will always be something foreign, something outside of her, and won't be Lilly at all.
The crowd disburses slowly, a few people at a time, and I step from Logan's embrace. I want to comfort him, I want him to be able to comfort me, but this is my last chance to be with my best friend.
I step up to the casket and run a finger over the smooth wood. I'm not sure quite what to say. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to make a spectacle worthy of all that is Lilly. But when I take a deep breath, I can only manage a whisper.
"I love you, Lilly."