This story is nothing but a crack parody that came to me at 8:00 AM. The first of a series of unfortunate cyber events, that take place from behind Ciel Phantomhive's laptop screen. Yes I'm aware we're not supposed to post chat scripts, but to hell with it. This chat tells a story. Hope you find it somewhat entertaining :] Reviews are appreciated.

Ciel in Cyberland: Sebastian's Sexy-Time Adventure

demonpimp has signed on

demonpimp: sebastian why are we doing this...

nyancatz69: I'm trying to open you to new experiences.

demonpimp: BUT YOU'RE ONE FLOOR AWAY

nyancatz69: Safety first.

demonpimp: GUH.

demonpimp: fine... you start.

nyancatz69: Of course.

nyancatz69: Oh and in light of those pesky pedophilia laws, let's keep this PG, shall we?

demonpimp: ...

demonpimp: are... are you, are you serious?

demonpimp: sex should never be PG

demonpimp: PG stands for parental guidance

demonpimp: you're already turning me off

demonpimp: this might be a new record

demonpimp: call guinness

nyancatz69: SHUT IT

nyancatz69: I mean... Now then :)

nyancatz69: I'm sitting on the bed and pulling you into my lap.

nyancatz69: My arms wrap around your slender waist as I lean in to kiss you.

nyancatz69: Your lips are so warm, I can't help but slide my tongue into your mouth.

demonpimp: ...

demonpimp: mmh... go on...

nyancatz69: I pull you closer to my chest, my arms lock you in, just before I grind against you through your jeans.

nyancatz69: (The black skinnies I got you on sale last week at Harvey Nichols)

nyancatz69: (I really had to fight that bitch off for them)

demonpimp: FORGET THE JEANS KEEP GOING

nyancatz69: Oh. Right...

nyancatz69: Those are girl's jeans you know...

demonpimp: SEBASTIAN

nyancatz69: Right right right...

nyancatz69: My nimble fingers inch closer to the zip of your jeans. I undo them and slide my hand over your arousal, cupping it in my hand, stroking it with every grind, as I feel you grow harder in my hand.

demonpimp: nnnnh... yeah... and then...

nyancatz69: You jizz your pants.

demonpimp: SEBASTIAN

nyancatz69: KIDDING!

nyancatz69: ...

nyancatz69: I pull you down with me as I fall back on the bed. I begin losing my composure as I watch you moan and buck into my hand, your dark lashes fluttering down as I wash you over with pleasure, the sight is driving me wild.

demonpimp: nnnh... sebastian i'm close...

nyancatz69: ;)

nyancatz69: I pull my hands away to hitch the hem of your jeans and slide them down, tossing them on the floor with your briefs- Already wet with the sticky mess made of your anticipation.

demonpimp: fffffffuck... yes...

nyancatz69: I reach up to take off your shirt.

nyancatz69: But it smells bad because you didn't let me wash it.

demonpimp: just shut up

demonpimp: talk dirty or don't talk at all

nyancatz69: Your shirt is very dirty. Because you insist that I'll ruin it like I ruined your Zombie Slayer tee but if you would just give me another chance

demonpimp: SEBASTIAN I'M THIS CLOSE TO DISCONNECTING AND FINISHING SOLO

nyancatz69: Sorry sorry sorry...

nyancatz69: Right. My hands travel up and down your naked body, sliding along every inch of your porcelain skin, your body is like ecstacy to the touch.

demonpimp: ...mmh...

nyancatz69: I grasp your hips and pull you up the bed, until your entrance is hovering just above my snaking tongue.

demonpimp: yes... nnhhhh

demonpimp: sebastian hurry...

demonpimp: i'm... gonna cum...

nyancatz69: I run my hot, wet tongue over your entrance, moaning as I watch you writhe in pleasure.

demonpimp: ah-

nyancatz69: But I grow nervous.

nyancatz69: Because last time Ciel didn't prepare properly, Star Comander Sebastian encountered some asteroids in his space cave.

demonpimp: ARE YOU

demonpimp: ARE YOU SERIOUS

demonpimp: THAT'S IT

nyancatz69: But

demonpimp: MY HAND IS OFFICIALLY OFF MY PENIS

demonpimp: I WAS SO CLOSE

demonpimp: SOOOO CLOSE

nyancatz69: Ciel, please...

nyancatz69: I was just being realistic

demonpimp: I AM NOT TOUCHING MYSELF TO REALISTIC

demonpimp: fuck this i'm signing off

demonpimp: you know what i'm gonna do

demonpimp: i'm gonna lock myself in the bathroom with big willy

nyancatz69: NO MY LORD!

nyancatz69: NOT BIG WILLY!

demonpimp: YES BIG WILLY

demonpimp: BIG WILLY VIBRATES AND SQUIRTS WHIPPED CREAM

demonpimp: WHAT DO YOU DO

demonpimp: YOUR SEMEN HAS THE POWER TO WILT FLOWERS

nyancatz69: Ciel! One day that unholy dildo of yours is going to get lost in your ass!

nyancatz69: I WILL NOT PLAY DOCTOR WHEN THE DAY COMES!

demonpimp: GOOD

demonpimp: THEN BIG WILLY CAN JOIN THE OTHER ASTEROIDS IN MY SPACE CAVE

nyancatz69: MY LORD PLEASE!

demonpimp: later

nyancatz69: WAIT!

nyancatz69: I UNZIP MY JEANS!

nyancatz69: I THRUST MY BULGING DEMONHOOD INSIDE YOUR

demonpimp has signed off

nyancatz69: ...

nyancatz69: ...I'm comimg up to watch.

nyancatz69 has signed off

THE END