This is a fill for a request thread I wrote a few years ago and then promptly forgot about. I thought it was kind of d'aw, so here it is.
"When I was a teenager growing up, ma never thought any girl was good enough for me. I'd try bringing home a pretty girl, but she was never smart enough, and the smart girls were never pretty enough for her 'baby boy.' And then, of course, all those girls that she was looking for me to hook up with were taken.
"After I left, I think she lost hope in me.
"Maybe that's better than the truth… "
"That's depressing." Engie tells me as I finish telling him my past romantic history.
I shrug and stretch my back against his side, feeling the bones and tissue and shit shift. Damn, stretching feels good after a long day.
"Hm…" Engineer grumbles, and I can tell he's thinking because I can crane my neck and see his face. He's frowning and looking all serious and shit and I sigh and raise my hand to stroke his thick arm across my chest. It works and the corner of his mouth quirks as he looks down at me.
"I don't like it when you do that." I tell him, feeling his hand move down my side to rest on my hip.
He just smiles like the faggot he is and turns his head to watch the TV again. I mutter something clever and feel the side of his head rest on top of my hair.
A few minutes later, Spy sweeps into the common room, looking smug and I wonder what he's all about before the tap of heels distracts me and my eyes turn from his BLU suited ass to the door he just came through.
"Shit." That's me.
"… Honey…?" Ma taking in the situation.
"Shit." Me again.
"Scout?" Engie's arm has the sense to attempt to withdraw, but my hands are gripping his arm hard, not about to let go.
"Shit." Guess who.
"Should I-" Spy starts in with a smarmy comment, but Engie's glare cuts him off and he's reduced to smirking as he cloaks.
Ma's just staring at me as I clutch at Engie's arm, feeling like a little kid. This must be how my oldest brother felt when he got caught having sex with his girlfriend on mom's bed. I think she was wearing the same expression too, from what he described. Kind of a mix of horror and disgust.
It hurts a little to see her looking that way and knowing that I caused it.
I finally let Engie's arm go and scramble to my feet, but Ma's already turning away and when I try to follow her, she slams the door in my face. I just stop, because I know there's no use following her or trying to explain.
Unlike with my brother, this kind of thing isn't something she can get over after a month of grounding. I know it.
"Scout…" a large, warm hand rests on my shoulder and I hang my head. I'm not crying, but I can't breathe and I'm left doing that hiccup thing that kids do when they're trying to keep crying but can't get the tears out. The hand pulls me into an embrace and I can suddenly breathe again, resting against rough denim and cheap uniform fabric.
"She hates me, man." I tell him, taking deep breaths that don't give me any air at all. "She… she fucking hatesme."
"Naw, son… she's just surprised is all." He assures me, a hand rubbing my back to calm the rising panic attack. I don't know how long we stay like this, but I don't want him to let go of me, because I know I'll just fall or something retarded like that.
"What do I do?" I finally ask, looking up at Engineer. He's got all the answers. No matter what the question is, he can answer it. Engie knows everything.
"I dunno, Scout." Oh, fuck me. "But she'll be here for another day or so, until the train leaves." He reminds me, seeing my reaction and trying to recover me before I start panicking again. He leans down to be at eye level with me and cups my face in his rough hands.
"Give her a little time to cool off, and then go talk to her." He tells me, the voice of reason when all I want to do is go hide in my room. I won't admit it out loud, but I'm ashamed. Not of Engie, or what we got, but that my Ma didn't know. I tell her everything, I'm her baby boy. I'm "the closest thing she has to a daughter" as one of my brothers put it.
"Yeah." I agree, because it's all I can do. I don't tell him that that's stupid and she'll never understand or come around. "You think everything's going to be okay?" I ask finally.
"Nope, but it's worth a try." Engie smiles wryly and ruffles my hair before pulling me into a bear hug.