After he heard the door of the loft open he looked up not surprised to see her standing there looking guilty. Dan sat easily in the silence but he could see that his girlfriend was obviously uncomfortable with it from the way she shifted from foot to foot waiting for him to say something. When she opened her mouth to speak he held up his hand and shook his head, standing from the bar stool he had been sitting on.
"I waited for you at the penthouse only to find out from Serna that you were off with Chuck."
"I was going to tell you…"
"But you didn't!" He yelled and the tone of his voice must have scared her judging by the way she jumped, "I had to find out from Serena! Serena! She looked at me with such pity like she knew all along that this was going to happen."
"So this is about Serena now? Why am I not surprised?"
"You do not get to stand there and accuse me of something like that, Blair. Not when you were actually out with the 'love of your life'." He put air quotes around the phrase
"Dan can we please just talk about this?"
"Sure let's talk about it. I told you I love you and do you know what I get back? I get back an I know. How long did you wait on Chuck to say it to you Blair?" The writer stopped to let her respond but was met with silence, "How long?"
"Too long, okay? I know that Dan! I know how wrong that relationship was!"
"Do you? Everyone told me I was a fool. They told me to run because you would break my heart and go back to Chuck that you were destiny and I was fighting a losing battle. But you know what? I didn't care because I knew that you were the only person in the world for me. And that night when you came in here and chose me over Chuck I knew that this was real, that you felt it too."
"I did choose you, I choose you now." Blair tried to take a step so she could touch him but he backed away from her before she could.
"I never should have turned down that position in Rome."
"Turned it down? You said they chose someone else."
"Well that's not what happened. I told them that my girlfriend wanted me to go but I didn't want to leave her because my relationship was too important."
"Oh Dan…"
"I am a total idiot for thinking that you would ever want me to stay."
"You are most certainly not an idiot! I wanted you to stay; I still want you to stay!"
"Why? You need me to stick around to make Chuck jealous?"
"What?" She breathed out the word her voice shaking
"Vanessa told me in high school that she had just been a pawn in the eternal game that was Chuck and Blair. I stood up for you then Blair just like I have now. And it turns out she was right…was I just a game to you?"
"No! You are not a game. We are not a game Dan, this is real."
"If you had said that to me weeks, months, hell even years ago I would have believed it. But I don't anymore and I can't Blair. Don't you see that? I can't keep sitting on that bar stool waiting for you to come home knowing that you've been with him. How is that fair to me? I would never put you in that position about Serena."
Trying to keep an even tone when he could see that she was so near tears was breaking his heart more than it already was. Even if he told himself that she deserved everything he was telling her it didn't matter because in the end he was going to be the true loser of it all. He waited for her to react because surely she had something to say to his statement
"Years?"
Out of everything he had said that's what she chose to comment on? The fact that he'd had feelings for her for years? Since college (or if he was being completely honest they started in high school).
"Seriously? That's what you get out of that?"
"How long have you had feelings for me Dan?"
"I don't know…high school. It doesn't matter now, what matters is that you chose to go off with Chuck Bass instead of meeting with me so we could go to Italy together."
"Of course it matters now!"
"Just go, I'm tired of fighting for us Blair." He turned to walk toward his bedroom but was stopped by a shockingly strong pull that forced him to face her once again.
"Then let me do the fighting for a while." Swallowing hard she kept her hand on his forearm, "You've spent so much time trying to keep us together but I haven't contributed to it all. Humphrey I can't say that I loved you all this time."
Dan fought the urge to break down. Here it was the dreaded I'm going to grow to love you speech that he had always feared would come out of her mouth when the time came to exchange I love you.
"But I can tell you that I do love you. And nothing, including Chuck Bass matters more than that. Earlier I had a moment of weakness for a past that I thought I would want for the rest of my life but that's not the case at all." Shaking her head she stared deep into his eyes willing him to hear everything she was saying.
"You mean you don't want him?"
"I don't want him, I want you. You and you alone. I love you Dan Humphrey. I love the fact that you keep your hair long even though I beg you to cut it. I love that we can argue about classic literature and movies. I love those stupid Humphrey waffles," Seeing her cry he wiped away the tears he saw falling, "I love everything about you and I promise that I will fight to keep us together if you'll still have me."
"Blair, I..."
"You need time to think, I completely understand. I'll go and you call me when you make up your mind. I'll be waiting." Releasing his arm she made her way to the door before his voice stopped her from going any further
"I don't need time Blair I already know."
"I'll have Dorota get my things." Nodding her head Blair accepted her fate that their relationship was over.
"Good. It'll save us some time because we'll have to get on the next flight to Rome." Turning around so fast Dan was sure she'd gotten whiplash he offered her a slight smile
"What?"
"You still want a Summer getaway with me right?"
"More than anything."
"Then let's go." Grabbing his duffle bag off the floor he offered her his hand, "I love you Blair."
"I love you more Dan." Leaning up she lightly kissed his lips letting a smile overtake her face when they walked out the door hand and hand.