A/N: It turns out, in my last upload, I indented the whole end of the story. How embarrassing. So, here it's fixed. Disclaimer: I think if I was Peach-Pit or someone else with license to SC, I'd tell you. I'd tell the world. I'd scream it to the heavens. But no, only in my best dreams…. *sigh*
I'd made up my mind to tell her, whether it was one day soon or far.
I'd made up my mind to end this lie.
I'd made up my mind, but it was the little things that piled up more and more each day that made me hesitate, and it would end up scaring myself out of it.
Little things like her pouting slightly about not hearing from my alter-ego Nadeshiko for "forever", but then using all her words to defend me, saying that I was only too busy and that she wouldn't want to be in my way.
Little things like her talking about a sleepover and it reminds me of the one she and Nadeshiko had so long ago.
Little things like her coming out of the changing room before volleyball in P.E. that reminded me of how as Nadeshiko, I would see her in her underclothes.
Every time, I would feel more and more guilty. I had lied to her again and again, and had done things with her as a girl that I knew to well would be unforgivable as a guy. I thought that if I told her, she'd deny it. If I told her, she'd hate me forever. If I told her, she'd never see me again. My thoughts on the matter became such a source of fear to me that I finally went to my friends for advice.
"She'll faint," Kukai said with a laughing fit obviously directed at me.
"She'll faint," Tadase said with a small, I-pity-you smile (or at least, that's how I saw it).
"She'll faint," Rima said seriously.
I had even gotten the courage to tell Yaya. She only agreed to keep it secret because she'd be able to taunt Amu when she finally found out. Then I asked her what she'd probably do when I told her.
"She'll faint," Yaya said without hesitation.
As much as I didn't want Amu to hate me it, I believed that she ought to for the lie I'd said. And more than anything, if she was shocked to the extent that she'd faint over it, it would tell me that she truly believed it, and that would make me feel worse than if she had gone and hated me.
But finally, I had gathered my courage; I was going to tell her.
"Amu-chan," I said timidly as she passed after the last class bell had rang; whispered so quietly I hoped she couldn't hear. We were in our second year of middle school now, and only had half of our classes together. Luckily, our last classes were together.
Sadly, Amu heard me and spun around with her "cool-and-spicy" attitude that she still kept up-even after four years, that persona hadn't left the eyes of the public. Really, with the stories of her past, I sometimes wonder if she'd had that outer character since long before elementary school. Normally I would've laughed at her for keeping up the act, but this time was different. This time I had to be serious.
She immediately sensed my frustration-though she may not have figured that that was what it was, frustration-and scrunched her eyebrows together while pursing her lips.
"What's wrong, Nagihiko?" she asked as all of the other kids filed out of the building. "You're all pale."
She reached out a hand and touched my face before putting her forehead on mine. "It's about as bad to be colder inside than to have a fever, so don't-oh, wait! Now you're heating up!"
I pulled myself away from her and cleared my thoughts. "Amu-chan," I said after a while, gaining my composure. I looked her straight in the eyes seriously and she flinched at my intensity. "I have to tell you something."
"What?" she asked nervously.
I looked around. There were still kids around, and we were now making a bit of a scene. I held back a sigh. This was going to be completely blown out of hand with the rumors that were sure to come. I grabbed Amu's hand and began to pull her out of the room through the door no one else was using.
"Not here," I explained to Amu, who was thoroughly in shock.
I pulled Amu around the school building and past Seiyo Elementary. I pulled her into the forest and down the path that I had taken her down so long ago, when she first met "Nagihiko." Finally, we reached the temple. Amu was so short of breath it took her several minutes to even be able to pant normally.
"N…" she tried to say. "Na… Nagi…hiko!… What… why did… we have to… What was… Why?"
I shook my head at her. "I have to tell you something," I said. "Something very important."
I could read the flushed, embarrassed and cofused expression on her face like a book. Confession? she was thinking. I smirked to myself at the thought-this was a much different confession than she was thinking of-but I composed myself quickly again.
"Do you want to know?" I asked.
At this Amu became more confused. By now she had recovered decently enough, in my mind. "Nagihiko?" she asked uncertainly.
I held out my hand to her and she took it completely out of intuition, I could see, because she hadn't really even looked at it. She was staring into my eyes.
I smiled at her and pulled her up. I took in a deep breathe and help back my nervousness. Then, I said it.
"The truth is…" I let it all out. And then I waited for a reply.
There was a long pause.
"EHHHHHHHHH~?" she screamed before she proceded to faint. I reached out only soon enough to catch her the moment before she touched the ground.