In quiet moments he thinks of children, a little home on the sea, warmth and happiness surrounding him. He imagines waking up to Naevia's face, feeling her cherished touch without fear attracted to it.
He lays on his cot and thinks of what their children would look like, he decides they would be the most beautiful children he'd ever see. He decides that they would never see blood shade, and no man would ever touch his daughters. He smiles when he thinks of his sons, teaching them to fight, but knowing they'd never raise a fist. He'd do that for them.
He smiles when he thinks of Naevia with child. Something tightens in his stomach, causing his heart to stop for a moment. He wants to see that someday, he wants to see-
A gladiator coughs in the background, breaking his thoughts.
He stares at the ceiling, he wonders what it'll be like when he can roll to his side and pull her against him. No bar keeping them apart, no men and soldiers blocking their touch.
"Crixus," A guard yells his name.
He's up before his mind lets go of the image of the house and children.
The guard sneers at him as the gladiator approaches the gates, "Your summoned ,"
Crixus knows what's next. He knows sex is demanded, he knows he he'll kiss and touch her, the whole time thinking of another, he knows he force himself into her, when he'd fall into another peacefully.
But none of that matters, because his quiet moment is here.
She's standing just feet from the guard, hands linked, head bowed. He smiles, walks past the guard and stares at her.
They begin the walk up the stairs, the guard falls behind, and their alone.
"I had another dream about us."
He feels her smile, "And?"
He grins ear to ear, "It was about our children,"
She gasps a little, coughing a little. He wants to turn, but instead he smiles and continues on, "Our children, our home…."
Naevia's voice stops him, "Maybe someday, but-"
His smile breaks, he knows what shes going to say, but now we can barely pretend.
They reach the main room, Crixus knows beyond the curtain a half naked woman is waiting for him. He turns around, "Someday I will earn my freedom, you will be at my side, and our children-"
"Crixus?" Lucretia's voice rings across the room.
He turns, forces a smile.
"Come," She waves a hand seductively.
He dares a glance back at the one woman he'll always have in mind, no matter who has him in body.
Moments later, he smiles, the woman under him thinks it's for her.
But in his head, in his heart, Crixus is still in his quiet moment, Naevia and their children ever present.