The Other Uchiha Curse and the Art of Dealing With Fangirls

In which the very first set of lessons Sasuke gets from Itachi is how to deal with the set of obsessed fangirls.

"Hiyaaa!" toddler Sasuke yelled with all the power and angst his childish and inexperienced self could muster, and swung his razor-sharp kunai around haphazardly through the air. To his luck, he managed to cut into two an unfortunate leaf that was just floating by. The day was beautiful, but it wasn't just the birds chirping melodiously as they scatter above the clear blue sky, or the dancing trees as the they swayed in rhythm with the wind, sprinkling leaves everywhere like autumn rain.

Little Sasuke was about to enter the ninja Academy soon, and despite being an Uchiha and already possessing skills a cut above the rest, he still was a child with a lot to learn. His older brother, prodigy of the Uchiha clan, agreed to prepare him before classes start.

"You see Sasuke, before I prepare you to become a full-pledged shinobi, I have to prepare you for an undertaking you will inevitably have to face," Itachi had said, "every shinobi of every village start out as students of their respective village academies, as you already know. Therefore the first lesson I will prepare is to help you face challenges as a student first. Of course, we want you to be the best student you can be in that academy!"

So Sasuke waited for his older brother at the lawn behind their home. He wasn't so keen to hide his eagerness. Like every excited kid he fussed about and ran around, every once in a while pretending that in enemy is among his midst. And since no one was wondering, no one was scolding about the deadly weapon being wielded by an untrained little kid.

The sliding doors that lead to the house both slid open, and on impulse Sasuke swung his head towards it. He beamed at the figure that came through, and his excitement escalated. This made the weariness Itachi had from the mission he had just gone to ebb away. He smiled back. "Hello, Sasuke."

"Oh, Nii-saan!" Sasuke nearly jumped at Itachi, "I can't wait! Will I learn new jutsu or something? Will you teach me the shuriken jutsu? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Itachi laughed at the sight of his little brother nearly bouncing about at every word he spoke. Then, as quick as a flash, he grabbed at the little toddler hands that held on to a dangerous weapon. Sasuke's heart skipped a beat. "I don't think you should be wielding these types of weapons yet, Sasuke-chan." Sasuke frowned.

"We won't be doing any fighting for this lesson," Itachi explained calmly.

"Awww!"

"But this is a very important lesson, Sasuke," this made the little kid raise an eyebrow, "for it could mean the difference between life and death."

"Cool," Sasuke nodded with agreement.

"You see brother, being an inheritor of the pre-eminent Uchiha blood; you must understand the curse that comes with it, beside the glory, honor and power."

"Curse?"

Itachi nodded gravely. "Yes, a curse. Being an Uchiha, you know we have a power feared by all, known by all. But do you know that we all so have such devastatingly handsome and beautiful looks on par with that of beings like gods? Our kind captivates the opposite sex so powerfully; it's as if we bathe in our pheromones. It's a curse that has been borne since the very first shinobi who bore the name of Uchiha."

Sasuke blinked, incredulous, incomprehensive. "What?"

"It means, little brother," Itachi sighed and ruffled his little brother's hair, "that the Uchiha are way too attractive for their own good. We tend to attract too many – fans."

"What's so bad about that?" Sasuke questioned and crossed his arms, "we are the great Uchiha clan. We're supposed to have a lot of admirers."

"Oh, but there are admirers," Itachi spoke gravely, "and there are fans. And then there are obsessed fans."

"The curse weighs heavier on the shoulders of our men, since they tend to attract fangirls. And fangirls are the most dangerous kinds of fans."

"Fangirls?" Sasuke again raised an eyebrow, not quite able to keep up with everything.

"Yes, Sasuke. Fangirls," Itachi again sighed deeply and closed his eyes, as if recalling pains from the past. Memories involving cat-fights and screaming mobs of hormone-crazed teenage girls. "Fangirls are fiery little explosions hidden in shells of cuteness, beauty and innocence. Once they have found an attraction to something, they stick to it like glue. It is as if their very lives depend on that one thing, and therefore they cannot bear a moment without it. They stock, like a lion stocks their prey. They fight like the mighty felines, all in pursuit, their claws clashing at their competition. They sniff you out with their powerful noses until they have finally caught you."

"And being an Uchiha, being from the clan of which the most attractive beings are born, you will inevitably have many fangirls. And therefore Sasuke, I shall train you the art that has been passed to every Uchiha from generation to generation," Itachi then stood up and paused for that dramatic effect.

"The art of dealing with fangirls."

End of Chapter One

So did you guys like it? Please let me know. I think I'm turning this one into a three-five shot. A nice review would be nice. xD