This fic is based on a story in 'Chicken Poop For The Soul'.
May This Be Love
It happened on a street corner on L2. I had just transferred to the colony from L5 and was walking home from my first day of work, which I thought had gone amazingly well. It was beautiful out, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, I could hear children all around me laughing and having a fun time. Then I saw Him. A beautiful creature that was more suited to play the role of a nymph in one of those Greek mythologies than that of an ordinary mortal. He was all chestnut hair and violet eyes, walking in the opposite direction from me. My heart stopped. The Platters' "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" kept playing in my head. I was in love.
I would pass him almost every day on my walk home. Sometimes, for all too fleeting moments, our eyes would meet, and he would coyly look away. I could feel our souls connect in that brief eye contact. I could stare forever into those infinitely deep violet eyes. I began to cherish our moments together more and more as the weeks went by. Toward the end of every day I kept glancing at my watch, ticking off the seconds before I could see his beautiful heart-shaped face again. Sometimes I would even close up the hotdog stand early and wait down the street until I saw him appear over the horizon, a vision in black. I would wait until I saw him before walking towards our corner. Finally, one day, I decided to speak to him. As I saw him appear down the street I straightened my white tunic and pants, which I had painstakingly washed the night before in preparation for our meeting, and walked towards him. I called upon all the courage I had.
"Excuse me," I said, "but I-"
"I'm sorry," he interrupted me with a huge, lopsided grin, "but I'm really late. My husband's gonna kill me if I don't get back soon."
And then he was gone. My fey beauty, my street corner soul mate- he was married. I was devastated. It felt as if some one had shattered my heart into a million pieces and then gave it to their dog to chew on. I didn't know what I would do. I started walking on the other side of the street. I started staying at work until after I knew he would be gone, even though no one ever bought hotdogs from me after six p.m. But one day I was standing there, handing a Supreme Weenie Special to some little boy, when I had an epiphany. I realized how silly I had been all this time. I had stopped loving him just because he wouldn't love me. My love for him had been entirely dependent on whether or not he would love me back. True love is unconditional. True love isn't when you refuse to love some one just because he doesn't return your feelings. That wasn't true love, it was narcissism. True love doesn't require anything in return. And this, I was sure, was true love.
So I decided to start our street corner rendezvous again. That day, after I had taken care of my last customer, I raced to the corner. Sure enough, he came into my vision, his rich, thick brown hair bound up in his customary immaculate braid. Then he passed me by. So I turned and followed him. He lived further away from the street corner than I had anticipated, and sometimes I had a little trouble keeping up with him through the crowds in the street and the subways. But I persevered. We walked through the suburbs, and then he disappeared into a little blue house with a white picket fence. I was happy. I was elated. My heart wouldn't stop racing. I turned around and went home.
I followed him home every day after that. After a few months I began to stand across the street from his house after our evening walks. Just being in the vicinity of his presence was a wonderful feeling. I know that he didn't love me. I could see how he felt about his husband every night through their bedroom window. But it didn't matter. I didn't care. Don't you see? Any one can love some one who loves them back. My love was deeper than that.
One cold and rainy day he saw me through his living room window. He opened the door to his house and started walking up to me, clutching a black umbrella with little yellow smiley faces on it. I raised my hand to my head to make sure my ponytail was nice and tight, knowing that the rain had probably taken out some of its perkiness. Then he was right in front of me, close enough that if I reached out to him I could touch him. He started to speak. "Please leave."
My heart skipped a beat. I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. He cared about me! He didn't want me to catch a cold out in the rain. My heart swelled up with love. I kept coming back, every single day. One day, his husband came out. He was a skinny brown-haired boy with prussian blue eyes. He glared at me. I glared back. This was just a test of my love. He punched me. And kept punching me. Fr such a skinny guy, he was really strong. With every punch I realized how strong my love was, to withstand such a beating.
I didn't even flinch when the police came. As if the red tape and bureaucracy of the government could hold back true love. I was not so weak as to be deterred by them. And that weak onna judge actually thought that a restraining order would keep me away from my beloved. If she were really just she would see that a little piece of paper could not restrain my love. So I kept coming back. And was arrested. It was hard, being separated from my love for those few weeks. Every night I would lay on my cot and think of the day we would no longer be separated. For him, I would survive these weeks of loneliness. After my release I went back to him.
I was a little scared the first time he fired at me. Not scared because I thought he might kill me, but scared because I saw the wild fire in his eye. For the first time in our relationship, I questioned our love. Was I in love with a crazy man? But then I realized that it didn't matter, that I would love him no matter what his flaws.
True love is unconditional. True love is eternal. True love will withstand anything, be it the test of time, tragedy, or distance. That is what I keep telling myself, now that they've locked me in this hospital. This has been my hardest test so far, but then I remember him, his beautiful blue-violet eyes, his charming, lopsided smile, and I remember how much I truly love him. I dream of him. It is what gets me through each day. The dream that one day, I will finally be able to return to him.
~owari~