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Wednesday, March 19, 2008 2:56 am

FOUR IN THE MORNING

Four in the morning. Nathan lies awake, unable to get the past out of his mind. Feels Haley shift beside him, snuggle closer in her sleep. He loves her, he does. But there's a question he can't let go of, a question he's been asking himself since he opened the door that evening, or maybe since long before that.

He slips out of bed, careful not to disturb Haley. Tiptoes down the hall, feeling his way through the darkness because he's too afraid to turn a light on. Shakes the shoulder of the person slumbering on the couch. Chris rolls over, squints open one eye, smiles. "I knew you'd come back."

Nathan frowned. "It's not like that."

"Well, what's it like, then, Nate?" demanded Chris. "Am I going to get some or should I just go back to sleep right now?"

"Chris," spoke Nathan angrily, "Can we just have a normal, non-suggestive conversation for once?"

"I think I was pretty explicit," countered Chris with a cocky grin.

"Chris!" Nathan hissed, still trying not to wake Haley. "Be serious!"

"Come on, Nate," whined Chris. "I show up at your house in the middle of the night and you answer the door in boxers and let me in. Then you try to kick me out. Next you offer me a bed but warn me not to tell your wife about us. You go to sleep with her and leave me on the couch, only to come and wake me up at four in the morning. What the hell am I supposed to think?"

Nathan sat on the pull-out-couch bed and looked at his hands as he twisted his wedding ring on his finger. "I don't know, man. I just…" he trailed off, not sure what to say.

"I think," said Chris, "that you don't know what the hell you want. And therein lays the problem."

"I'm in love with Haley. I want Haley. It's always and forever for us. But…since you showed up here tonight…I haven't been able to stop thinking about what happened between us. And if it could happen again, if we let ourselves."

"Do you want it to happen again?"

"No…maybe." Nathan paused, unsure. "You don't mean anything to me, Chris."



"Did I that night?" asked Chris, sounding lonely and somewhat lost.

"No." Nathan sounded certain, maybe too certain. "We were drunk and I was hurt and it shouldn't have happened, but it did. But it didn't mean anything."

"So what was it?"

"I don't know…" Nathan sighed softly. "A mistake, I guess."

"You guess?" Chris spoke quietly, needing to be sure about what Nathan was saying, about what Nathan meant.

"Yeah…" Nathan looked away, unable to meet Chris' eyes. He loved Haley, but there was a question lingering in the back of his mind and he was too afraid to answer it. Because if he tried to answer, he'd have to admit to the feelings he knew he shouldn't – couldn't – have. And then he might lose everything.

"What if it wasn't?" Chris asked, rolling closer to Nate. Slowly, he leaned up and touched Nathan's cheek. He touched his lips softly to Nathan's, just brushing their lips together before pulling away. Nathan reached up with one hand to touch his tingling lips and bent down again to pull Chris into a passionate kiss.

Haley heard noises from the bedroom and sleepily rolled over to find Nathan's side of the bed cold, his covers pulled back. "Nate?" she asked tiredly, and sat up, looking around. The bedroom was dark and still, but again she heard the strange noises from the living room. Haley reached over to grab her bathrobe and padded down the hall in her slippers. "Nate?" she asked again, rubbing sleep from her eyes, but within seconds she was wide awake.

Nathan and Chris were tussling on the pull-out couch, kissing and moaning, rolling over and over and seeking control. Haley had always been nervous about Nathan's experience and worried that he might not be satisfied with her. She had even dreamed of him leaving her because she simply wasn't good enough for him. But this – she'd never pictured this.

"Nathan?" Haley asked sadly, almost a whisper but loud enough for Nathan to hear and look up.

"Haley –" Nathan started. He pulled away from Chris and sat up. "I didn't mean – This isn't what it looks like – Haley, just let me explain."

"What it looks like? It looks like you're cheating on me with Chris! In our living room!" spat Haley angrily. Nathan could see the venom in her eyes, and behind it, the fear of not being good enough and the pain of betrayal. "Get out!" The hurt was gone now, replaced only with fury. "Get OUT!"

Chris started to speak then. "What if it wasn't?" Nathan and Haley turned towards him sharply.

"What?" Nathan demanded sharply.



"What if it wasn't?" repeated Chris, slowly. With those words, Nathan was pulled out of his daydream and back into reality. Reality – where he was sitting beside Chris on the pull-out couch, Haley still asleep and blissfully unaware in the bedroom.

"It was." Nathan's answer was terse and final. Whatever this was, whatever this had been, it was over. And Haley would never find out. Nathan got up to leave the room. Chris spoke just as he reached the hallway.

"Hey Nate?" asked Chris from the bed.

"Yeah?" Nathan turned so he could see Chris watching him.

"What about your promise?"

Nathan remembered, hazily, the promise he had made Chris that night – that night, when everything had changed.

"Promise that you won't forget me, about us? That even if this never happens again, you won't regret it?"

"Yeah, Chris, I promise," Nate answered sleepily.

"Good," murmured Chris, and soon soft, rhythmic snores filled the room.

"I didn't forget, Chris. I told you I wouldn't."

"But you regret it. You called us a mistake."

"It was always about Haley, man." Nathan sighed and turned back around so he couldn't see the tears trickling down Chris' cheeks. "I'm sorry."

Nathan climbed back into his bed and wrapped a strong, protective arm around Haley – his Haley. "I love you," he whispered into her hair. "I always have, and I always will." In her sleep, Haley smiled.

Chris was gone the next morning when Nathan and Haley woke up. There was a note taped to the refrigerator.

"Dear Nathan," it read.

"Thanks for the place to crash.

I won't be back – a promise is a promise.

– Chris"

There was a stack of cash sitting in an envelope on the counter.



"That was sweet," said Haley, with a smile. "See, he has some redeeming qualities, Nathan. Maybe one day you two could learn to be friends."

Nathan crumpled the note in his hand. "I don't regret it, Chris," he said softly. "But it's time to move on and forget it."

He could hear Chris' cocky response in his mind. "You can't ever forget the Keller, man," he said with a laugh. "Not possible. But don't worry – you'll see me again. Promises are made to be broken, right?"