A/N: Some more GirxDib CRACK.
Dib was dreaming, and strangely, despite always fearing his dreams, he was oddly enthralled by the one he was currently having.
The stranger was sitting at the end of the bed, silver hair gleaming and teal-tinted eyes glittering wickedly. The stranger smiled, an inane ridiculous grin that nearly spanned the width of his face. Dib would have called the stranger, no teenager, dazzling, stunning even, if he wasn't so creeped out by the boy's sultry grin.
"Who are you?" Dib called out, back slinking up against the headboard while he bunched up the blankets between his fingers. "And why are you in my room anyway?" He watched with fascination as the stranger shrugged and shifted at the edge of the bed, throwing his lithe legs over. The teenager was on hands and knees now, fine-tipped bangs brushing across his forehead and pooling around the curve of his ears. Dib noticed that the boy's jagged hair stopped right at the nape of his neck.
Dib gulped and leaned further back into his pillow. "You don't have to do that, just stay over there."
The stranger didn't seem to listen, or want to anyhow, and chuckled under his breath. Luminous teal eyes peered up through silver bangs, and the boy began to crawl. The mattress dipped under the weight of the boy's body, metal springs coiling and squeaking as he crawled his way across the bed. It was a slow crawl, a meticulous one, and Dib thought it almost seemed preditorial. As the boy drew nearer still, Dib flushed and pressed the blankets to his chest, fingernails gouging into the dense fabric.
"Go away please," Dib muttered quickly. Much to Dib's relief, the stranger seemed to listen this time and halted, but the relief quickly drained once Dib realized that the boy hadn't listened to his pleas, but had instead halted because there was simply no more bed to move across. The silver-haired stranger was now leering over the young paranormal investigator, hands pressed down on either side of Dib and seemingly trapping the teen in. Dib scoffed, a shudder running through him, before a sense of bewilderment overtook him. Why was this guy, this weirdo with white hair, in his bedroom and crawling across his bed?! Did Gaz let him in or something, or . . .
Dib was shocked back into the present as a pair of soft, pliable lips planted firmly on his own. Dib immediately backed away and smacked the back of his head against the headboard, a swelling ache blooming across his head. Dib hissed as the pain gradually receded, but it didn't take his mind off the stranger who was still staring at him, and smiling.
"Ow! Geez, why the heck did you do that?!" Dib asked angrily, massaging the back of his head. "Get out, or I'll scream. I swear to God, I'll -- ." The boy's lips met his again, tender flesh kneading against the other's in a rhythmic pattern. Dib broke away. "Stop it, I mean it!" But the boy quickly interrupted again by placing a sloppy kiss to shush Dib up. The silver-haired teen swooped in again and planted another kiss, a hungry one, and then planted another, and another, and another, until Dib was smashed against his pillow, trying desperately to move away but finding it difficult since the boy and the bed were both blocking his escape.
The stranger was on top of him now, biting, nipping and licking at Dib's exposed lips, flicking a slippery tongue across the tender flesh, and Dib nearly lost it.
The human woke up to find Gir on top of his chest, wet tongue lolling out and teal eyes wide and full of mirth and maybe something else that Dib really didn't want to discern. The SIR unit smiled languidly and pressed a metallic hand against Dib's chest, which was currently heaving in some much needed air.
"OH MY GOD. Don't tell me, please don't tell me you were – Oh god," Dib nearly cried, wiping his wrist across his wet lips. "OH GOD."
Dib was left muttering hysterically to himself, flailing his arms and spitting a wad of saliva over his bed – anything, ANYTHING to get the taste of muffins and taquitos out of his mouth.
Gir shrieked and laughed maniacally, kicking his limbs to and fro. "YOU TASTED YUMMY!"
Hahahahahahahah. Holy jesus.
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