A/N - Here it is, the sequel to Last Resort. I hope you enjoy! Thank you Dramionelurver for you wonderful Beta job.
Life Continues
It was a depressed Harry Potter that made his way through the halls that evening. Under his invisibility cloak to insure he would not be disturbed, he made his way to one of his favorite spots to be alone – the top of the Astronomy Tower. His weekend had started off bad and only gotten worse as it went.
~Flashback~
On Friday, he woke up late due to lack of sleep from the nightmares during the night, leaving him barely enough time to run to the Great Hall and shove some toast in his mouth before hurrying to his first class. Of course, double potions with the Slytherins just made his morning that much brighter. He was already regretting getting out of bed at all. True, Malfoy had been somewhat quiet lately, but that only seemed to encourage the other Slytherins to pick up his slack. So instead of dealing with one Malfoy, they had five or six upcoming hopefuls going for the title of the golden trio's new tormentor. Wonderful. And as much as he hated to admit it, they were poor copies of his once great nemesis; Malfoy used to get Harry and his friends riled up by his mere presence. These bothersome wannabes barely rated irritating with their unimaginative insults and obvious – and therefore easily avoided – pranks.
By the time lunch came around, Harry was starved. Unfortunately, due to the untimely reveal that the letter Hermione received this morning was from Victor Krum, Harry barely got a few bites of his lunch in as he played referee between his best friends. So by the time he got to dinner he was so ravenous that he began eating with a furry that left Ron gaping. Which started Hermione lecturing, which led to Harry turning almost blue before someone noticed he got something caught in his throat. Luckily, the bit dislodged with a good whack on the back, but this also sent the bit of food flying. When it landed in Lavender's lap, the girl screamed, directing to the Gryffindor table any attention Harry's chocking had failed to capture. Of course, at that point, Snape did his coming out of nowhere thing to dock points for 'unseemly table manners.'
So that night, Harry went straight up to bed, hoping to end the horrible day, only to wake up from another nightmare around midnight and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning. Just before dawn, he managed to slip off to sleep.
After what felt like only a few minutes later, he woke up to someone violently shaking him. "Wake up, Harry. The game is gonna start soon!"
Harry opened one blurry eye and reached for his glasses. Once in they were in place, he forced himself up into the sitting position.
"What? I thought the game wasn't till lunch..." Harry groaned. "I slept through breakfast."
Flopping back on the bed, he knocked his glasses askew, but he didn't really care at the moment.
"Don't worry, mate, I saved you this!" Ron exclaimed.
Next thing Harry knew, a large chocolate muffin was shoved into his face. Straightening up his glasses as he sat back up, he took the offered muffin. "Thanks Ron, you're a mate."
Ron shrugged. "Hermione also saved you an apple. I thought you'd like that better." Harry smiled. He couldn't argue with that. Making quick work of the muffin, Harry then quickly got dressed. It was Gryffindor's first game of the season. And, as usual, it was against the Slytherins. As much as they knew they should stay away, they couldn't help but watch, which was the only thing they could do since he and Ron were off the team for the rest of the year due to a stupid prank he and his friends pulled on Malfoy at the beginning of the year.
It was something Harry honestly regretted, so when the punishment came down, he didn't complain...much. Ron, on the other hand, was livid for weeks. At first they planned on avoiding the games for the rest of the year, but not even being able to see the game seemed like double punishment. Besides, Hermione got this almost fanatical look in her eyes as she started in on how much study time they could replace with the hours they used to waste on Quidditch. It wasn't a pretty sight.
Right away, Harry wished he'd forgotten about the match. The Slytherins were in great form. The lack of one Harry Potter seemed to light a fire under the Slytherin players. Well, except Malfoy, who looked strangely irritated.
Harry watched as the Slytherin seeker made his way by the Gryffindor replacement. Ginny Weasley had been the lucky one chosen for the job. She was fast and agile on a broom. Unfortunately, she was also inexperienced in the tactics of Malfoy. The boy easily distracted her with what were probably some choice insults, judging from the angered expression on the girl's face that turned surprised as Malfoy suddenly shot off, leaving her realizing too late that while distracting her with insults, Malfoy had been keeping an eye out for the snitch. She made an attempt to catch up but was still half a broom length behind as Malfoy's hand closed around the snitch.
The Slytherins went wild. Malfoy, on the other hand, looked just as irritated as when the game began. Taking no victory lap and without doing any showboating, he landed quickly and disappeared into the changing rooms. Meanwhile, his teammates more than made up for their seeker's lack of celebration.
On his way inside, Harry was stopped by Professor McGonagall with a massage for Harry to see the headmaster before dinner. Figuring his day couldn't get much worse, he was proven wrong once again. It seemed that the Headmaster decided the best thing for Harry's nightmares were for him to learn Occlumency. That in itself was not the problem; the problem was that since Dumbledore was too busy to give Harry lessons himself, Harry would have to learn from the only other staff member qualified teach him this skill: Snape. They would be working secretly under the guise of remedial potions. Needless to say, any hunger remaining in Harry was wiped out.
~End Flashback~
So instead of heading to dinner, he went up and grabbed his invisibility cloak. After adorning said cloak, Harry headed for a place where he could to be alone and sulk. Unfortunately, after taking the stairs that lead to the roof of the Astronomy Tower and stepping through the open door at the top, he found his secluded spot already had an occupant. There, sitting and looking over the vast horizon, was Draco Malfoy. Harry quickly turned to make his way back down the narrow stairway when he heard footsteps trotting up. To keep his presence a secret, he stepped back out onto the roof and moved to the side, away from the open door, turning back just in time to see Blaise Zabini appear in the doorway.
"There you are..." Zabini remarked to the blond. "You know, if Snape knew you wandered off alone, he would have a conniption. You know the new house rule. All Slytherins are to be in pairs of two or more when outside the house dorms."
"Yes, Blaise, I was there along with everyone else when he informed us," Draco replied dryly, his eyes not moving from the horizon.
"Hmm, then do tell why you're here sulking when you should be in the dungeons celebrating our grand defeat of Gryffindor?"
Draco frowned. "Who cares? Wasn't even a challenge."
Zabini looked surprised. "But... this is what you've been dreaming about! Beating the Gryffindors!"
Draco turned his eyes on to his friend, a cold fire burning in their depths. "It was never about beating Gryffindor! Despite what rumors they may spread about me, I know I'm a great player and could fly circles around any of them easily." The truth was, his father had given the team brooms only after Draco made seeker. Hell, his father hadn't even known Draco was trying out for the team! It was after Draco sent his father news of his gaining the seeker position that the brooms were sent. Yeah, it was his father's way of giving the team an unfair advantage but the only reason he cared to do so was because of Draco making the team on his own.
Pushing that old grievance away, he continued his rant about his current complaint. "It's about beating Potter! The only bloody competition on that damn team." It was stupid. He waited forever to put Gryffindor in its place, but the victory was tainted. Instead of beating Potter like he always dreamed, he was put up against that stupid Weasley girl, who fell so easily for one of the most common distraction techniques in the books. He felt cheated. A dark voice in the back of his head taunted, 'Most everything in your life falls short of expectations. Why should this be different?'
Not sure how to respond, Blaise spoke carefully.
"Well... you did get him kicked off the team, that should be a victory of sorts."
Draco rolled his eyes. "As much as the rest of the Gryffindors would like to credit me with that, the truth is that the bloody bastard did to himself." Realizing they were getting too close to a subject Draco did not want to discuss, he changed topics. "You should go down and celebrate with the rest. I'm not up to company right now." Blaise frowned from his position at the door. He then moved forward and sat beside Draco, leaving the way clear for Harry to make his escape, but at this point a herd of wild Hippogriffs couldn't drag him away.
"You're going to have to talk about it sometime," Blaise said in a gentle yet serious tone. "I know it's hard and sharing is not your thing, but, well, dammit... I don't want..." Blaise frowned, trying to find the words to convey what he was feeling. Let's face it, despite their excessive grammar skills, verbal sharing on this level was not something done by anyone of their upbringing. "The others don't see it, but I do. After Sheridan , how could I not? You and Snape can try and cover all you want...."
"Fuck, Blaise!" Draco swore. "If you know the score, then you know that all I do now is share! If it's not to that useless councilor, I have that nosy old man calling me in to his office." Draco's tone turned mocking. "Would you like a lemon drop, Draco? How are you doing today, Draco? Any nightmares, Draco? Have you thought about cutting again, Draco?" By the end, his jaw was clenched in frustrated anger as he hissed the words between clenched teeth. Stupid wanker, acting like he understood. Bull, how could he? He didn't have an obsessive father breathing down his neck to join a madman on his impossible crusade.
"So it is true, you did try..." Blaise looked upset. "Why, Draco? What was so bad...?"
Draco shook his head and returned his attention to the horizon. "You wouldn't understand. I'm starting to think there is no one out there that does."
"Then explain it to me," Blaise pressed.
Draco was silent. For a while, it almost looked like he was going to ignore the question. Then he spoke with a strange underlining emotion never heard in the boy's voice before.
"You don't understand. What's like… To be ignored half of your life and then one day have all this attention thrust on you only to find out it comes at a price. You're told your whole life has been decided for you before you could even walk... And worse, when you do anything to venture out of your home, you find others who have already decided who you are and what your about just by hearing your name, because in their minds, that declares your future. Who you are has already been written. And you never did and may never be able to have a say in who you are, or who you will become."
Draco fell silent again. Blaise had no response to those words. Suddenly Draco stood. "Screw it! I'm going down to the dungeons. I need a drink!" Draco swept out the door, leaving Blaise to quickly follow.
Harry stayed under his invisibility cloak and slowly made his way to where the aristocratic blonde once sat. He then lowered himself into the same spot. As he looked out over the horizon, he spoke softly to the emptiness.
"I know what it's like..."
A few days later, it was a very irritated Harry that came storming into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione, who'd been up reading and (although she would never admit it) waiting up for Harry to get back from his Occlumency lessons, looked up from her book.
"How did it go?" Harry turned angered eyes in her direction. "That good, huh?" She put her book aside and patted the seat next to her on the couch. "Come on, let's hear it."
Harry sighed and plopped down on the offered seat. "That man is impossible! He gives me no instruction other than 'clear your mind,' never telling how to do that in the first place, mind you. Then he viciously attacks my mind and insults me because I have no idea what I'm doing! He says I'm not trying and not practicing. Practicing what? He never told me what I'm supposed to be doing in the first place! I swear he wants me to fail just so he can go to Dumbledore and tell him I'm not trying on purpose! He's just so… ARRG!" Harry jumped up. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I can't talk about this now, if I do I'm going to do something stupid that just might give Snape what he needs to get me kicked out of Hogwarts for good. I need to go for a walk and blow off some steam."
Hermione sighed. "Okay, just… be careful."
Harry paused long enough to give her a small smile. "I will." He then ran up to his dorm room to grab his cloak and map, just in case. Hermione watched him go as she sat back, lightly tugging on a lock of her hair, deep in thought. Maybe she could do something to help Harry, maybe research a little on what it was he was supposed to be doing. If Snape wouldn't instruct him properly, Hermione would just have to help Harry get the information for himself. With that in mind, she called it a night, deciding to get an early start in the library.
So far, Draco had spent the night alone on the Astronomy Tower roof, nursing a couple butterbeers while deep in thought. Blaise was in one of the many little nooks in the tower, getting to know a 7th year Ravenclaw. They had come to the tower together and planned on leaving that way whenever Blaise was done with his date. Technically, he was still following the whole escort rule.
His counseling sessions were a joke, especially since he and Snape did their best to conceal who Draco really was. Even with the secrecy oath every councilor makes, they took extra precautions. After all, every Slytherin knew it was better to be paranoid than dead. So Draco used both a polyjuice potion and a voice altering charm. He was given a false name and stuck to selective ambiguous ways of speaking about his home life and past. Basically, wasting time.
The truth was, having to conceal so much made the counseling sessions pointless. Snape was most likely realizing that too as he recently told Draco they would soon be coming to an end. That had to be the reason; they had made no breakthroughs that Draco could see.
Draco took a sip of butterbeer as his mind wondered over his situation. Ever since this whole thing started, Draco found himself in a position he never hoped to be in. The thing was, the only way to hide from his father would be to align himself with people he'd been taught to hate. That too would come at a cost. How high depended on him. He knew what Snape meant when he told Draco he needed to decide where he wanted to be: what side of this he was truly on.
It's not like Draco hadn't already started to question the things he was taught, arguments that made no sense in the light of real life facts. On the other hand, he didn't know enough to completely argue against what he was taught either. The problem wasn't who was right, but which convictions were Draco's and which were strictly the beliefs of his father. How much of this was his fight?
Truth be told, he didn't know enough about the other side to really understand what it was they were fighting for. There were the basics, sure, but the conviction behind the struggle is what Draco lacked. What did he know of Muggles and Muggle-born? It's not like he ever got to know any. Believe it or not, there were some Muggle-born witches and wizards in Slytherin (the requirements listed to be in Slytherin never included being Pureblooded). It seemed, to many Purebloods disappointment, Muggle-borns and Half-bloods could be ambitious and cunning too. Go figure.
However, being cunning, they learned quickly to not speak about their roots and blend in with wizarding society. Any Muggle-born or Half-bloods he could approach in Slytherin would be suspicious of him and most likely deny the fact, knowing it would be a hard thing to check if they claimed their wizarding roots were found in another country. After all, for some families, like the Zabinis, it was true. So, it was an easy lie that fellow Slytherins let by to maintain the image of the Slytherin house. To press the issue could bring a lot of unwanted attention to himself. As for approaching a Muggle-born from another house… well, it'd be double the suspicion with an added dose of contempt, never believing his questions would be for anything other than ridicule. Besides, any leaking of his inquires could result in his demise. No, if he wanted answers, he have to find them on his own.
That's when Draco got an idea. Hogwarts did offer a Muggle Studies class. True, no Slytherin would be caught dead or otherwise taking that class, but it probably meant that there were books on the subject of Muggles in the library. Couldn't hurt to check. With that thought in mind, Draco made a mental note to go to the library first thing the next morning. Best get it done when the library was most likely to be empty. Hearing someone trot up the stairs, he turned to see a slightly disheveled Blaise appear in the doorway. He'd obviously tried unsuccessfully to straighten himself up. Well, one could only do so much in the dark without a mirror.
"Ready to get back?"
Draco, not bothering to verbally respond, polished off his butterbeer and rose to leave.
Hermione closed the book in front of her while letting out a frustrated sigh. She found plenty of books defining Occlumency, but nothing on the mechanics of it. She was getting frustrated. To make matters worse, she had a nagging feeling that the books she needed lay waiting mockingly in the restricted section. Knowing she deserved her punishment, she stuck to it. But right then, she couldn't help thinking that maybe the situation called for her to break her punishment. It wouldn't be the first time she sneaked into the restricted section. But no, she would keep looking out here. Breaking her punishment would be only a last resort. With a resigned sigh, she reached for another book in her pile of hopefuls.
A few rows of shelves over from where Hermione sat, Draco was looking through the Muggle Studies section, only finding books like Guide to Muggle Gadgets: the Good, the Bad, and the Shiny and Lockhart's How To Guide: Muggle Transportation and Cooking Muggle Style for Adventurous Wizards. In other words, nothing particularly useful. He then came across a bright orange book titled; Muggles for Morons Draco immediately shoved it back on the shelf with a sneer. Draco Malfoy was no moron!
Moving to put some distance between him and the offending book, he came upon Granger. He still remembered her words from the last time he was in the infirmary. Ever since, having her around was strangely uncomfortable for him. His attention redirected to the books in her pile, and before he could think about what he was doing, he found himself asking, "You looking to learn Legilimency?" The skill was one that Draco had yet to master. But then again, the minds that surrounded him most of the time were either almost nonexistent or not places any sane person would ever want to dwell.
Hermione sighed and closed the book. It had been another waste of time. She'd been about to close it when she saw Draco approach. He'd been so quiet lately that she hoped he'd pass without comment. Looked like she was wrong. But as she looked up to meet his gaze, instead of the contempt she figured she would find, there it was a real curiosity. So she found herself answering, "Uh, no Occlumency actually."
Draco smirked. "Won't find anything helpful on either subject in those books. Any books on mind magic would be kept in the restricted section, if they kept them here at all."
Hermione, forgetting who she was with, looked deflated. "Bloody hell."
Draco raised an eyebrow. "Did you just swear?" This whole thing was definitely surreal. All of the sudden, the gears in Draco's head started turning and his mind started running through different scenarios. Very slowly, he offered in a voice just loud enough for Hermione to hear, "You know, I know Occlumency. It would be easy to teach you."
Hermione brightened for an instant before frowning in suspicion. "Why would you help me?"
"Why indeed." He pulled out his wand, causing Hermione to tense and reach for hers. "Relax," he told her. "I'm just giving us some privacy." Hermione kept her hand on her wand, but did not draw it as he performed a quick spell to insure no one could eavesdrop on their conversation.
Satisfied, Draco continued. "It seems we find ourselves in a unique position. I have access to information that maybe a handful of people here know and out of those, only one would really be willing to just offer you. But then again, if you could go to Dumbledore, I'm sure you would have already." Hermione's shift in eyes were the only confirmation he needed. "I, on the other hand, have a need for information that, while abundant, I have no access to."
Hermione cut in sharply. "I'm not stealing any information or acting as a spy..."
"Who said you needed to? This is information you already have." Hermione opened her mouth to be cut off again, "And no, it has nothing to do with your precious Potter in any way, shape, or form"
Now she looked thoroughly confused, which of course amused Draco. After all, it was not an emotion usually seen on this particular person's face. But time was wasting away and it would do him no good to be seen having a chat with one of the golden trio. "I need to know... wait. Take out your wand."
Again suspicion filled her eyes, but she did just as he asked. When she did, Draco held his out, asking, "Have you ever made a wizard's oath?"
The concept was simple. Similar to an Unbreakable Vow, it was not quite as extreme. Unlike the vow, it was not a death bond and didn't require a third person to act as bonder. Breaking the oath was extremely hard, but if done so, the other person in the oath would be warned. Sure, it wouldn't completely stop her from sharing, but at least he would get a warning if she let it leak out. And then she better wish for death, because he would not be too happy. She nodded slowly and cautiously. "I want you to swear to secrecy what I tell you right now. You may not share what we speak about with anyone."
He waited as she weighed her options. "I don't know... What if to tell you what I know I need to ask someone about it first?"
"You won't." She still looked pensive. "Fine, you will not share with anyone about what we speak of unless I give you permission to do so." It might be better that way anyway. You never know, she might have something there. Sometimes loop holes were a necessary evil.
She nodded and held out her wand. As they touched tips, she recited, "I, Hermione Granger, cast an oath as a witch that I shall not reveal anything Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger discuss currently to anyone unless given prior permission to do so by Draco Malfoy."
Draco fought to not show how amused he was at the thoroughness of the girl's oath. She was even an overachiever when making a simple oath. Deciding to do as she did, Draco responded, "I, Draco Malfoy, as a wizard, accept the oath of Hermione Granger."
There was a flash between the two wand tips, indicating the oath was sealed. Putting their wands away, Draco decided for once that a direct approach was needed. "I need you to teach me about muggles."
Hermione sat there in shock, and then shook her head as if to clear it. "I'm sorry. I could have sworn you said you want me teach you about muggles..."
Draco frowned. "I did."
"I see..." Hermione responded slowly. "Well, sure. Muggles are just like wizards but don't do magic... done."
Draco growled, "Are you trying to be difficult?"
Hermione crossed her arms. "No, I'm just telling you what I have been telling you for years! Muggles are human just like wizards: they eat, they breath, they laugh, they bleed. They love their family and friends and strive to make a place in this world same as any wizard. They have pride and morals. They are not dirt nor are they beneath you!"
Now they were getting to it. "Really? Prove it."
"What?"
"Prove. It. That is what I'm asking you for, that is what I want to know. You say these things... it is the conviction your side runs on. I want to... no, I need to know if it is a conviction I can share. So, prove it."
Hermione just looked at him for the longest time, then she gave him this faint half smile, "Ok, you're on." Her confidence grew and she rose to her feet. "I'll prove it!" Then she faltered. "But I'll need some time to strategize and gather my facts."
Glad she was taking this seriously and not bombarding him with questions just yet, he nodded. "Fine, that is acceptable. Meanwhile, I will teach you Occlumency."
Hermione almost forgot that part of his deal. "Uh, okay. I take it these lessons will be private?"
Draco nodded. "Of course. It's not like we're friends."
Hermione stiffened at his words. No, not friends, remember that, Hermione. "Good. When and where will we meet?"
"I'll get back to you on that," he threw over his shoulder as he turned to walk away. Draco needed to get out of there; it was getting to be the time when the not so early risers would start to wander the castle. It wasn't likely that they would wonder to the library, but it was better safe than caught.
Hermione stood there and watched him walk away. She wasn't quite sure what had happened or what it quite was she agreed to do, but something deep in her gut told her this was important. It would change everything.
A/N – Well let me know what you think. I warn you now, updates will be slow due to the fact I have limited writing time and another fic I am also working on. I guarantee at least one update a month. Beyond that I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. All that does is cause writer's block. Been there too much already. So please Review.