Ok, so this is my first fic, and was inspired by a conversation between me and a friend. I'll accept negative feedback, as long it is backed up with advice. I would appreciate no Hating/spamming. Thanks!
It was Saturday night, and the gang was headed down to the Rose and Crown for a night out. Clara, Amy, Rory, Rose, Donna, even Martha, who had taken a break from her doctoral studies (Though she was so stressed out the others were rather annoyed she was coming). Of course, Amy was leading the pack of time-travelers, Rory tagging slightly behind, a worried expression on his face. Amy had a sparkle in her eye, and Rory's sixth sense that she knew that something was going to happen tonight. Either that or she was hungry for fish fingers and custard. As they reached the pub, Amy flung the doors open, interrupting quite a few customers. Rory looked up apologetically, while Clara giggled slightly, knowing already Amy was going to be her usual self. Donna cheered at the prospect of having a wild night, while Rose face-palmed beside her. Martha looked rather annoyed in contrast to everyone else's comical expressions. Sitting down at the usual table, Donna and Martha stealing chairs from other tables and dragging them to the table, Clara realised someone was absent. "Is River coming with the Doctor?", she asked. "No,", Rory replied, "She went to visit the library for some reason." "Aww, shame. She would have been fun." Donna sulked. As Rory went off to order the drinks, Martha started to get annoyed. "Ok, seriously, where is he? He was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago!" "Yeah, but it's only ten minutes, so what?", Amy replied. Rory returned carrying two trays of various drinks and bottles, balancing them with a large amount of skill. "Yeah, but he's a Time lord, remember? He could be here ten minutes EARLY if he wanted to." Rory reminded them. As if on cue, the pub was filled with an eerie oscillation, as a blue box materialised behind the bar. At any other bar the bartender would have had a heart attack, but the Rose and Crown was their local. The doors of the police box opened, and a man who looked to be in his late-twenties stepped out. However, the phrase 'Looks can be deceiving' was meant for this man (And knowing him, probably literally). Dressed in a dark tweed blazer, a dark brown waistcoat, a pinstriped shirt, rolled up slim-fitting trousers, a pair of black boots, and most unusual of all, a red bow tie, he looked the part, if said part was an eccentric, slightly insane genius, which he was. Looking around at the pile of broken glass and spilled drinks around the TARDIS, he looked up at the bartender sheepishly. "Sorry, John". Saying nothing but chuckling slightly, John whipped the Doctor with a cloth, sending him jogging to the usual table in the corner. As he sat down next to Clara, he heard John shout "That's going on your tab, you know!" Rory sighed with relief. "That's good, 'cause last time it was on mine…" "Hey, I got you the money back didn't I?" "Yeah, in GALLIFREYAN DOLLARS. How do I ask for the exchange rates for those?!" "Gallifreyan, duh." By this time, everyone was in hysterics. Even Martha was finding it hard to keep a straight face. Rory slumped back in his seat, pouting, resulting in a hug and a nuzzle from Amy. After the laughter had died down (Which had taken a while due to Donna), the Doctor asked "So, what am I drinking?" Amy suddenly donned a mischievous smirk, as her scheme went underway. "Well,", she replied, "I got you some tea." Everyone looked up, wondering what Amy was up to. "What kind?", asked the Doctor, rather intrigued. "Well, I got you some… Long Island Iced tea." Said Amy, placing the nectar-coloured cocktail in front of the grinning Time Lord. "Oooh, I went to Long Island once… There were Slitheen everywhere." Everyone looked at the Doctor this time. Rory was the first one to question him. "Slitheen… in Long Island?" "Yeah… Wait, no, it wasn't Long Island, it was… Ummm… Oh, where was it, uhhh… Oh, yeah. Raxacoricofallapatorius." A tumbleweed rolled across the table (Knocking over Donna's Cuba Libre in the process), leaving everyone speechless. The Doctor looked around at his companions. "What?" "…Doesn't matter…" Amy finally spoke, dumbfounded. "Anyway, are you gonna try your tea?" Donna piped up. Amy looked up, with a very suspicious Donna winking. Amy smirked, realising she had an accomplice in her… operation. "Oh yeah", The Doctor picked up the glass, and with one swift movement, took his Sonic out of his jacket, and started inspecting the glass, lighting up the golden glass with an eerie green light. Rose piped up, "What are you doing?" "Checking if this kind if drink is poisonous." "What, you've never had one before?" Rory asked. The Doctor's face turned rather serious. "I am 1200 years old, obviously I'll have tried one before! Do you know how many times I've been to New York?!…" The Doctor continued his rant, while Amy whipped out a bottle out of her handbag. Rory looked down, and saw the bottle of Smirnoff Amy was brandishing. He looked at her with a shocked face, as if to say 'Are you serious?', while Amy responded with a face mischievously saying 'Of course I am. Why wouldn't I?'. While the Doctor's back was turned, quick as a flash, poured half of the liquid into the Tea, attracting the attention of all the others, receiving mixed responses. Rose and Donna were finding it hard to contain their laughter, while Clara was dumbfounded at the idea that the Master of Time and Space hadn't noticed that his drink had been spiked, wondering what was going to happen next. Martha couldn't believe no one was stopping her from spiking his drink. Leaning over, she hissed into Amy's ear "What on Earth did you do that for?!", while Amy responded with a rather annoyed tone. "Calm down, it's only a bit of fun." "Yes, but-". Suddenly, the table went rather quiet, and Amy and Martha realised that everyone was staring at them, even the Doctor, who had finished his rant. "What's up?", he asked the pair. "Uhh… Nothing!", the two spoke in perfect unison, and snapped back into their seats. "Oookay." Said the Doctor, reaching for his glass. As he went to drink it, Donna let out a laugh, and realising what just happened, clapped her hands over her mouth instantly. The Doctor looked over at Donna, and at everybody else. "Ok, seriously, guys, what's up?" His question went unanswered, except for a few fingers taps and coughs. Scanning the gang, the Doctor slowly sipped his drink, as if he was savoring it. The table was silent for what seemed hours. Then all Hell broke loose. The Doctor's face went from Quizzical to an 'About to be sick' face. Instead of swallowing, he spits it all over the table, straight towards Rose, Donna and Martha. Rose and Donna's reflexes kick in, making them duck beneath the table quicker than a bullet. However, Martha, didn't fare so well. Instead of ducking, Martha flinched, letting the stream of alcohol hit her right in the face. Rose and Donna slowly surfaced from under the table, only to be greeted by a fairly anger Martha, a Doctor coughing and retching on the floor, a Clara kneeling next to him, rubbing his back, and asking if he's ok, Amy laughing her head off, and Rory face down on the table. Looking up, Rory realised he should listen to his sixth sense more often. "What on Earth happened here?" Rory looked up, only to be greeted by the familiar face of River Song, looking rather amused. "Daddy, has Mummy been misbehaving again?" Rory groaned and lowered his face back into the table.
There we go. This MIGHT become a series, it might stay as a one-shot, I don't know. Thanks for reading!