Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of these characters and terms. And all that other legal stuff.

BEWARE THE OOCNESS! And there are also OC's.

Link: AUSTIN POWERS...MEET! MINI ME!

Ganondorf: ...my name's not Aus...

Link: ZIP IT!

Ganondorf: ...but...

Link: Hey look, it's Zippy the clown!

Young Link: SCHRAA! (Kicks Ganondorf's wiener)

Will also crossover with Soul Calibur II, just to make fun of Link, and...other stuff that I haven't thought of yet.

SUPER SMASH TAISEN!

Chapter 1: Vortex of Randomness

IN A DISTANT LAND, FAR, FAR, AWAY:

"NOO!JEIGAAAAAN!" Marth yelled as his paladin guard was just struck down by an arrow in the heart. "Meh, he wasn't that useful anyways..."

A vortex suddenly opened up and a giant gloved hand popped out and grabbed Marth.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Marth yelped, and literally pissed his pants. Well, wouldn't you if you were grabbed by King Kong's ghost glove? "AAAAHHH!" he yelled as he was taken by the hand inside the vortex.

"L...Lord Marth!" some Pegasus knight girl called worriedly and chased after the hand. However, the vortex closed just before she reached it.

IN A DISTANT LAND, FAR, FAR, AWAY:

"You have gained: Heat Seeking Missiles," one of the screens on her visor said. Samus transformed her armor out of its ball form, and sighed.

'Well, now...just...4 more to go...sigh...why does this ALWAYS happen to me...' she thought while walking away from the giant Chozo statue. She didn't notice the giant vortex that opened up behind her, nor did she notice the giant hand coming out of it. Until her computer beeped the danger beep.

'What?' Samus thought while turning around. She saw a giant gloved fist flying straight at her, and it sent her flying into a wall. The gloved hand then grabbed her, and brought her with it into the vortex.

'What the hell?' Samus wondered. 'What's going on?'

IN A DISTANT LAND, FAR, FAR, AWAY:

"Well, here I am, AGAIN, finally being able to, AGAIN, take the master sword out of its resting place," Link complained.

Zelda sighed; Link has been quite grumpy lately. Well, why wouldn't he be? He saved her and the land of Hyrule countless times from Ganon. Who just happened to have recently renounced his ways to live as a gardener at Hyrule Castle (Oh, the irony), and was a good one at that. Ganondorf seems to be very interested in Impa, too. Zelda's guard, however, stayed away from him, as she was scared of the big man.

After Ganondorf has renounced his ways, ANOTHER evil sorcerer took over his place as 'supreme evildoer of the land'. This time, he transported himself to another world to gain this sword called the Soul Edge, which is apparently more powerful than the Master sword and the Great Fairy Sword themselves. Link was angry. He was hoping to be able to spend some 'quality' time with Zelda, but NOOO, the evil sorcerer HAD to just pop up RIGHT AFTER GANONDORF QUIT!

"Sigh...All right, I'm ready now..." Link sighed, brandishing his Master Sword half-assed. "Beam me up, Scotty."

"My name's not Scotty!" the teleporter complained. "Geez, just because you saved the world a couple of times doesn't mean that you can forget manners..."

"Come on, Scotty..."

"FINE!"

However, before 'Scotty' could cast a teleportation spell to send Link to Earth, a vortex opened up and 3 giant hands popped out. One of them grabbed Ganondorf, another grabbed Zelda, and the other one grabbed Link. Then, all three of them took the Hylians back inside the vortex.

"That'll teach ya," 'Scotty' said mockingly to Link.

"SHUT UP, SCOTTY!" Link yelled from inside the vortex before it finally closed.

IN A COUPLE OF DISTANT LANDS, FAR, FAR, AWAY

The same fate that happened to the above characters also happened to a little big-headed boy named Ness. Fortunately, he remembered to bring his favorite baseball bat with him.

Some bounty hunter named Captain Falcon came in a close second in an F-Zero race to a policeman named Rick Wheeler...and his Millennium Falcon ran straight into a giant vortex. Rick and his teammates blinked in surprise. So did the racetrack audience.
A pokemon trainer, with a Pikachu on his shoulder, and 2 girls, one of them with a Pichu and the other with a Jigglypuff sitting beside them, are happily eating lunch. Then, you guessed it, the vortex opened up and sucked them in, along with their pokemon.

"ASH! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" Mimori yelled.

"MY HAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ash yelled as his hat was sucked inside the vortex faster than him and his friends, out of his reach.

'We're not enjoying this, are we...' Mewtwo thought-asked the young trainer calmly.

"GAH! Where did you come from?" Ash asked the psychic pokemon, surprised that it just popped up right beside him.

'I was taken inside here by a giant hand forcefully.'

"A giant..."

'DON'T FINISH THAT YOU SICK TWISTED KID! I READ YOUR MIND, AND IT AIN'T PRETTY!'

Elsewhere, a parka wearing pair was also sucked in. But we'll leave those two alone for now since no one cares about them.
Elsewhere, a pink living marshmallow sacrificed himself by throwing his friends out of the vortex, but he himself was sucked in. Poor Kirby.

"POYO!" (Kirby, you idiot, why did you do that!) he asked himself angrily.

IN A DISTANT LAND, FAR, FAR AWAY

"The Sword of Seals..." a red haired youth said, examining the sword carefully in his hands. "It's so...light..."

A vortex then opened up, and a giant hand popped out. However, the hand seemed surprised to have Roy in its presence and said, "OMFG IT R ROY!"

"...WHAT?" Roy cocked his eyebrows in confusion. "...Was this supposed to happen?"

The hand grabbed Roy and took him inside the giant vortex.

"I LOVE YOU LILINAAAAAAAAA!" Roy yelled as he was taken inside the vortex to the blue haired sage that was beside him when he took the sword.

20 Years Earlier

"Something feels...weird. It's like the fabric of time and space has been ripped and somehow I know that my future son is going to save the world, and after a series of unfortunate events, he'll marry your daughter," Eliwood said to Hector.

"Impossible!" Hector exclaimed.

Back to the Present

IN A DISTANT LAND, FAR, FAR AWAY

Narrator 2 said, "SHUT UP WITH THAT, WILL YA?"

"Mama-mia!" Mario yelped as he and his brother were jumping around to avoid two giant hands that were trying to grab them. Three other hands came and took Yoshi, Peach, and Daisy with them inside a giant vortex of doom. Bowser laughed maniacally.

"Having fun, Mario? BWAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser laughed triumphantly.

"Mama-mia! What-a the hell, Bowser?" Luigi asked the Koopa King as he rolled away from a giant hand's punch.

"I...have made the ultimate deal with the devil! Peach means nothing to me now! I...will obtain the ultimate power, and destroy the two of you! GWAHAHAHA!"

"MAMA-MIA!" Luigi yelped; the hand that was chasing Mario decided to give up and go after Luigi instead. Unable to escape both hands, he was finally caught. Then they did the same thing with Mario.

"GWAHAHAHA!" Bowser laughed uncontrollably as the hands took the plumbers inside the vortex. However, he soon stopped laughing as a very hard object hit him in the back. His shell protected him from its full impact damage, but it pushed him very far and into the vortex. "WHAT? NOOO!"

"YOSHI!" a blue Yoshi yelled; he was the one that threw the egg at Bowser, making him fall into the portal.

Fine, I'll stop saying that. Sheesh. Well, all the introductions are done now, at least for the main cast. The OC's will be coming in soon.

R&R!

Next time, on Super Smash Taisen!

Smashers: OMFG MARTH AND ROY!

Marth and Roy: How is it that I know no one here, yet everybody knows me?