Hi, guys. This is my new Karley fanfiction. As you can probably already see, these chapters will be a great deal longer than those for Lockdown, so you can expect updates more sporadically, perhaps once a week or maybe more. It's set in an AU universe, but there will be a lot of mentions or appearances of other characters from the series.
This fic is going to be co-written by my friend novakfabray123. She'll be writing the chapters in Kitty's POV, I'll be writing them from Marley's.
Summary: "I'm not gay!" Marley protests, biting her lip nervously and looking around. Unique cocks a finely plucked eyebrow and looks at her dubiously. She has nothing left over for Kitty. She barely even knows the girl. What was she thinking? AU Karley.
Characters: Marley R. and Kitty
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, nor do I own the lyrics at the end of the fic or the quote. The lyrics are from the Wicked song, "What Is This Feeling?"
To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.
-Federico Garcia Lorca
Marley swallows and steps inside her dorm room door.
It closes quietly behind her and she sits down on the bed that she presumes to be hers, as the other is covered with pink bed sheets and magazine covers. She sighs gently, biting her lip in anxiety and tapping her fingers against the plain white sheets. She didn't know she had to bring her own, but she supposes it doesn't really matter—who is going to judge her on her sheets?
She walks over to the window and stares out at the city, tears nearly brimming in her eyes. She can't believe she's here. It took so much convincing and so much luck, but Marley Rose is in New York, at one of the most exclusive, prestigious performing arts boarding schools in the country. She grins widely, biting her lip and pokes her reflection in the window.
She turns around and leans against the window sill, shivering slightly as the glass touches her back. She leans forward, hoping to escape the chill that the glass seems to radiate, and she sighs, exhaling gently and biting her lip. She vaguely hopes that her roommate will be someone she can get along with, but judging from the bed sheets and the pink and those magazines, she doubts it. She doesn't necessarily look for fights with those kinds of people. It's just that they seem to hate her, and she shudders subconsciously as she remembers what they did to her. She's not going to relive that here, though. This is a new school, a school for people with talent, and if Marley made it here, she can make it anywhere.
The door crashes open and Marley starts, pressing herself automatically against the window sill, her eyes flying open in surprise. Who could it really be, other than her roommate? She steels herself for whatever might come through the door, and she can't really say she's surprised when it's some tiny blonde thing in a cheerleading uniform.
Marley's first reaction is panic. What is a blonde cheerleader doing in her dorm? She shakes her head and tries to clear it of the memories that threaten to invade her mind. Blonde cheerleaders are bad. Especially the bitchy ones. But wait, isn't that all of them? As her mind clears, she realizes that it must be her roommate, and she nearly wants to slap herself to punish herself for her own stupidity—the expression on her face isn't exactly a very positive welcome.
She's going to be spending the rest of the year with this girl, so she might as well make her her friend. Friends were good. Friends were a buffer against whatever or whoever she might be forced to encounter or interact with.
She's pretty, Marley guesses, but she doesn't really seem all too happy. She barges in through the door and stops straight in her tracks, staring sullenly at Marley until the blonde finally says something to break the horrifically awkward silence.
"Who're you?" She asks with a displeased expression and an expression of distaste ghosts over her face, but it's gone in a flash and Marley can just barely convince herself that it was all in her head. Of course it wasn't, though, and Marley's gut knows that, but she can at least pretend. Pretending is fun. Pretending keeps away the pain.
"I-I'm Marley Rose," she offers, and holds out her hand for the girl to shake. The girl eyes her for a split second and then shakes her hand to Marley's relief. That would've been horrifically embarrassing, and they don't really seem to be getting off to a good start anyways. "I'm your new roommate?"
"Oh, right," the blonde says like she knows what's going on, but Marley can tell she's confused. Did she not have a roommate before? She looks around the room, and immediately it becomes obvious to her: she's intruding on her personal space. Marley swallows and offers her a small smile, and although the blonde doesn't exactly return it, she acknowledges it a bit with a slight nod. "I'm Kitty Wilde, by the way," she says, and there's a confident smirk on her face. Marley's stomach contorts in a weird way. It's nerves. She just desperately hopes that she won't be terrible to her like the other girls.
Marley gives her another smile and Kitty bites her perfectly glossed lip. She brushes past her and gets a textbook sitting on one of the two desks next to the window and walks over to her bed, letting the book fall onto the ground. Marley realizes she's staring and averts her eyes quickly, trying not to blush.
Kitty sits down on her bed and picks up one of the fashion magazines, leafing through it noisily. After watching the blonde for a few seconds, Marley shakes her head quickly and sits down on her own bed, beginning to unpack. Her closet side is about the same size, but she doesn't really care too much. She doesn't have enough clothes to fill the half anyways, so it's not like it matters.
After she's done, she sits down on her bed and pulls out her laptop. It's old and beat-up, but it works. It's her mother's going away present for her, and she appreciates it more than almost anything. She knows her mother is secretly glad to have her out of the house: the school pays for food and board and all of her supplies, and it's honestly cheaper. Her mother loves her, Marley knows that, but she doesn't really think she'll miss her too much.
Her laptop fires up, and Marley types in her password with frantic fingers. This is the only thing she has, save from her phone, to keep in touch with her old friends. It's unlikely she'll be seeing them again before summer, so she's going to hold onto this as long as humanly possible.
She logs into Facebook and types a quick message to Jake. He's going to miss her, of course, but he's promised to audition for the school in the summer. She grins. That'd be much too fun.
He replies almost instantly, and Marley grins. How's New York? He asks, and she squares her shoulders and shifts her weight uncomfortably.
It's okay. I guess, she adds, because there's really nothing else she can say. What is there to say at a time like this, anyways? She and Jake have been friends for so long, she can't even remember. She fiercely blushes at that one time freshman year where she was convinced she was completely in love with him. One kiss and she was convinced she wasn't, and then they just went back to being friends. It was better this way, anyways.
But this will be the first year since fifth grade that they haven't seen each other every day. And even though Marley might love being in the city, it'll be difficult. At least for a few weeks. She exhales and looks at the screen, where she sees that Jake has replied. Only okay? What, is everyone being mean to you or something? He's worried. Even though Marley doesn't know what his voice sounds like right now, she can tell he's worried.
I haven't talked to anyone yet, really, just my roommate. She tries to console him. He's so overprotective sometimes, but she smiles in spite of herself.
Is she a bitch? Comes the immediate reply, and Marley rolls her eyes.
No, no. She's nice, actually. Marley lies, and she hopes Jake won't be able to read her uncertainty through the message. It isn't even a lie, really, just some kind of bending of the truth—Marley's uncertain, and until she is, that's just the answer she'll feed to Jake and everyone else back at home. She's fine with telling them everything's okay. They won't worry about her that way, and the less stress for Marley's mother and Jake, the better.
Marley isn't even sure she likes Kitty, really. At least from what she's seen of her, she doesn't. The blonde is opinionated and shallow, exactly the kind of person that Marley normally never associates herself with. She's bitchy, she's a cheerleader, she's blonde, and she's also freaking tiny: Kitty Wilde is a walking stereotype, and Marley doesn't want to get caught up in all that high school drama. Her old school was bad enough, and she never wanted to get involved in that kind of drama either, but look what happened. Drama, drama, drama, and Marley Rose in the middle of it. High school was a terrible place.
Oh, good, Jake types, and Marley can hear the immediate relief in his voice. Well, I've got to go eat dinner, I'll text you later.
Talk to you later. Marley types out and sighs, shutting her laptop and plugging it in, setting it on the floor next to her bed.
She also decides to hide the fact that she's here on scholarship. What's the point? It's not like it'll gain her any friends, and she doesn't see any good that it would do if she admitted it anyways. She silently thanks God that her mother doesn't work here. It would make her life a lot more difficult, and although she hates herself for it, she wants to have friends here. She wants to be popular, for the first time in her damn life. She deserves it, after the endless tormenting and the mocking and whatnot. It was bad in middle school, it was worse in high school, and now she deserves to have friends.
"So where are you from?" A bored voice comes from the bed next to her, and Marley tenses slightly. She pulls her legs up onto the bed and looks at Kitty, who hasn't even looked up at her.
"Ohio," Marley says in a small voice, and Kitty smirks gently. Marley sighs and bites the inside of her cheek but forces herself to remain civil. I need to have friends here, she thinks harshly. Remember that.
"Come to the big city to follow your dreams?" She asks dryly and laughs. Marley sighs and looks desperately to her phone, wishing she could just text Jake or whoever and not have to talk to this girl.
"I guess," she answers quietly, tracing the comforter with her finger. She folds her hands together and rests her chin on top, shrugging. "What do you study?"
"Theatre," Kitty says, and Marley's heart sinks. "Musical Theatre, to be exact," she says with a nearly bored expression, and Marley's heart sinks even more. The departments are small. The classes are even smaller, and with her luck, she's going to be in a class with Kitty and maybe four other people. She swallows and closes her eyes for a split second. "What about you?" Kitty asks, as if she's just remembered that they're having a conversation.
"Same," she says quickly and tries to smile. This time, Kitty reciprocates it, but it's wary and unsure. "We'll be in the same class, then?" She asks, trying to sound hopeful but at the same time desperately hoping she's not.
"Yep," Kitty says and pops the 'p,' sighing and turning the page of her magazine noisily. "Miss Berry, that's the voice teacher, and Ms. Fabray for normal theatre." Marley shrugs and bites her lip. The names are unfamiliar to her. "Miss Berry is alright, I guess," Kitty says, but with the accompanying eye roll that she delivers convinces Marley that she doesn't mean it. "Actually, she's kind of a bitch, but you get used to it eventually." Kitty's eyes drift away from her magazine for a split second and focus back on Marley.
Marley's breath hitches for a split second. She's not quite sure why, but she was nearly convinced that Kitty's eyes were blue. It would fit into the stereotype, she supposes, but obviously she was wrong, because they're actually not blue. They're hazel, and that fact somehow manages to confuse her and intrigue her at the same time. She shakes her head slightly and looks away from Kitty, brushing her nose with her hand. "Thanks," she mutters and looks down again, biting her lip and checking her phone for the time. There's a text from Jake, but she ignores it, because shit.
She stands up suddenly and runs a hand through her hair. "What now?" Kitty asks, and the chill is evident in her voice. Shivers run up Marley's spine, and she turns to look at the blonde, biting her lip.
"I need to go to new student orientation," she explains and shrugs, running her hand through her hair again and motioning stupidly with her hair through the air.
"No one goes to that," Kitty says, her voice muffled slightly. She looks up at Marley and raises a single eyebrow. "You're seriously going to go?" She asks skeptically.
"Yes," Marley says, and she curses her voice for being incredibly small and weak. She does really plan on going: her mother suggested it, and she doesn't want to start school at the beginning of the semester knowing no one at all. It's a terrifying prospect, and although she knows Kitty, she doesn't really feel like they're going to become close friends any time soon.
"Do what you want," Kitty says. "What room is it in?" She asks, and gets up, brushing a stray curl away from her face. Marley's eyebrows knit in confusion. What exactly is Kitty doing?
"What are you doing?" She voices the thought, and Kitty raises her eyebrows again. Marley's voice loses its strength about halfway through the question, and she begins to rock back and forth slightly on the balls of her feet, hoping to detract from the awkward situation.
"You're going to get lost, you know," Kitty answers and raises her eyebrows like it's obvious. "And if my roommate is found wandering around lost in her first what, hour, at school, I'm going to be blamed." Marley nods quickly, understanding. It's a good excuse, but it's still nice, so Marley isn't going to complain.
"Okay," she says, somewhat nervous and smoothes out some imaginary folds in her jeans, following Kitty out the door and closing it behind her. If she brings her somewhere, anywhere that isn't where this is supposed to be, she's going to be seriously irritated, mad, even. She's got enough of the cheerleader's useless bullshit for this year, and she can't take it anymore.
Kitty stops and whips out a key, locking the door. Marley swallows, and she quickly taps her pocket to make sure hers is still in there. It is, of course, but it's weighing her pocket down, the metal of the device cold through her jeans pocket. Kitty turns back around, and Marley's confusion must be evident on her face, as Kitty stops and takes a deep breath.
"Lock the door every time you leave," Kitty explains in an almost bored voice, and Marley nods. "I don't want any of my…" she takes a deep breath and bites her lip, staring at Marley with an expression of near irritation. "Our stuff getting stolen, or whatever." Marley nods again. "So what room did you say it was?" Kitty asks, beginning to walk down the hall.
Marley hastens to catch up with her and finally does, walking next to her at a steady pace. "Room, uh, 424," she says, looking at the piece of paper she had had folded up in her pocket.
"Fourth floor," Kitty mutters and rolls her eyes. "Damn these stairs." They turn the corner and walk down a long hallway separating what Marley presumes to be the dorms and the actual school. It's cold in the hallway and Marley shivers unconsciously. Kitty doesn't seem to be fazed by the cold and merely walks on, her light hair fluttering in the breeze.
They walk up four flights of stairs, and by the time they reach the top, Marley's legs are burning. "It's just down this hall," Kitty says curtly, and Marley nods, expecting Kitty to turn around. But somehow, she doesn't and instead continues walking, not looking back once, her blonde cheerleader ponytail swinging to and fro across her back.
They finally reach the door and Kitty motions towards it with her head. "Here you are," she says and turns to begin walking down the hall, her blonde ponytail swinging in an almost perfect pendulum like a clock, swinging back and forth, back and forth endlessly, curled into flawless corkscrew curls.
"Thank you," Marley calls out before she's gone, and Kitty doesn't even turn around.
"You're welcome," she says, and unless Marley is hallucinating, there's a bit of a smirk in her voice. Shaking her head, she takes a deep breath and opens the classroom door.
New student orientation is fairly basic: there's a tour around the school, which Marley appreciates, and she gets a ton of pamphlets and such that she's sure are going to come in handy eventually. New student orientation would be useless if she hadn't met the few other new students. They get put into pairs for the tour, and the person who accompanies Marley is loud and funny. Her name is Unique, Unique Adams, and she's technically a he. [Which Marley has no problem with; she prefers keeping an open mind.] She's actually very loud and quite hilarious, and Marley finds herself listening more to the other girl than she is to the actual guide.
However, Unique is in choir, which means that although they might see each other at lunch and/or between classes, they won't be spending the majority of their time together, which irritates her. She'd love to have a friend that isn't a cheerleader and probably majorly popular, so she immediately says yes when Unique offers to sit next to her in the cafeteria for dinner that day.
The cafeteria is relatively plain, and Marley recalls a time when her mother used to work behind one of those counters and she shudders subconsciously. Not because of her mother, obviously, but because of the time that it used to be, the ridiculous taunting and such. It stings, and she opts to sit as far away from the food pick-up counter as possible in hopes of banishing the memories.
"So, how's your roommate?" Unique asks, one uncomfortable question in a sea of unforced, natural conversation.
"She's…" Marley shrugs and holds her hands up helplessly. "Alright, I guess," she finishes the sentence moodily and stares down at her plate. The food has been surprisingly elegant and good-tasting, but she's not really surprised: normally people pay good money for this, why would it taste the same as the food at the crappy high school Marley went to in Ohio?
"Only alright?" Unique raises an eyebrow and then sinks it again, staring at Marley with an expression of near worry on her face. "What's wrong with her?"
"She's just so…ugh," Marley says and buries her face in her arms, thankful that it's late and that the cafeteria is closed right now. "Perfect?" She tries to find a good word to describe her, but somehow fails. "I don't know," she says and looks back up. "She's just a popular blonde cheerleader and I don't know what to think of her."
Unique seems to be watching her with a bit of a strange expression, and Marley knits her eyebrows together, confused. "Do you like her?" Unique asks with something resembling a smirk on her face.
What? Why does Unique think I like her? Have I been talking about her strangely or something? Oh, god, what? Why? Marley's mind frantically searches for an answer and finally settles on one, albeit not the most poetic one possible. "I'm not gay!" Marley protests, biting her lip nervously and looking around. Unique cocks a finely plucked eyebrow and looks at her dubiously. She has nothing left over for Kitty. She barely even knows the girl. What was she thinking?
"I meant as a friend," Unique clarifies, but she's thinking something and although Marley doesn't know exactly what, she doesn't want to find out.
"Oh," Marley says lamely, her cheeks burning. "I don't know; I barely know her." She shrugs and picks up a fry.
"I see," Unique says mysteriously and turns back to her food.
"What?" Marley asks, and for some unknown reason, she's blushing again.
"No-thing," Unique sing-songs, and Marley bites her lip out of habit and begins to eat again. Their conversation jumps around, from mutual favorite musicals [Wicked] to hobbies [They both, obviously, love to sing] and just random gossip. Marley's enjoying herself, and although she doesn't know Unique too well, part of her already is sure that they're going to become fast friends.
But eventually, they have to go back to their respective dorms, and although Marley finds the way well enough on her own, she finds herself walking with a heavier step as she nears her dorm room. It's not like she necessarily doesn't want to see Kitty, or that she dreads the blonde. It's just that she doesn't want to mess up whatever tentative almost friendship they've struck up, if that's even anything. But Marley shakes her head firmly and digs around in her pocket for the key, a slight weight lifting off of her chest as she finds it.
Her hand fumbles with the key and she unlocks the door. It creaks open and she steps inside. The room is bright and warm, and she locks it behind her and lets herself flop onto the bed. "How was it?" Kitty asks from the bed next to hers and Marley looks over. She's lying sprawled on the covers, her legs dangling casually in the air as she flips through a textbook. Marley swallows.
"It was alright," she answers, then steps into the bathroom they share and changes into her sleeping stuff and gets ready for bed. It's not even late, it's about 10:30, but she's tired and she doesn't want to wake up tomorrow exhausted. School doesn't start for another two days, but there'll be field trips and activities and such that she doesn't want to miss.
"You're going to bed now?" Kitty asks, her voice full of distaste, and Marley inadvertently rolls her eyes. Who is this girl to judge what Marley does all the time? Who is she to dictate how she lives? And why in all hell isn't Marley completely pissed?
"Yeah, I'm really tired," Marley says and almost hates herself for sounding so lost and vulnerable. She hasn't slept for a while, really, since she woke up early out of nerves and she couldn't bring herself to sleep in the plane. She's too paranoid for that, paranoid they're going to fall out of the sky and die, every single person. It's the fact that they're not on solid ground that worries her, and her nerves were too shaky to sleep at all.
"Oh," Kitty says softly and sits up, tucking her legs under her and brushing back a perfectly curled stray strand of hair. "I-We can turn the light off, if you want," she says, her voice trying to sound unfriendly but somehow failing miserably.
"It's fine," Marley says and lies down under the covers, shivering miserably. She's cold, but of course she isn't going to admit that. She briefly considers asking Kitty if she has a comforter or another blanket but decides against it until the blonde speaks up herself.
"There are extra blankets and stuff in the closet," she says matter-of-factly, and despite herself, Marley is thankful that the other girl is at least going to be minimally helpful. She doesn't want to freeze overnight, of course. Marley doesn't even entertain the idea, however, that Kitty actually cares. She's just playing nice, Marley whispers to herself in a snide little voice that doesn't come out of her head. She doesn't really care. Just get the damn blanket. She sidles out of bed and walks over to the closet, picking up one of the heavy woolen blankets lying on the base of it.
"Thanks," Marley says and goes back to bed, hesitating for a moment. Would it be weird to sleep facing her? She's never shared a room before, so Marley wouldn't know. After pondering the thought for a few moments, Marley flips over, her back to the other girl and her eyes tightly shut, trying to sleep. It's too bright, though, and although Marley doesn't want to inconvenience Kitty, she doesn't think she's going to get a lot, if any, sleep if it's still going to be as bright as this.
She hears soft, padded footsteps by her bed and then the overhead light turns off. Marley's head instantly relaxes and her eyes begin to water. She is just so, so tired, and although she doesn't really want to, her brain automatically opens her mouth and makes her say two words: "Thank you."
She just hears Kitty's weight shifting on the other side of the room and she tries to convince herself it doesn't matter that the blonde is ignoring her. But the firm weight of rejection, any type of rejection, still weighs heavily on Marley's shoulders, and she sighs and tries to force herself to sleep. Somehow, it works, but just as Marley begins to drift off, she can hear the soft, whispered words that could only come from one source.
It's a soft, silent whisper, so quiet and you can barely catch it—but it's most certainly there, as clear as day. "You're welcome," Kitty Wilde whispers, and in that moment, Marley Rose can sense her world changing and shifting. But that's impossible. Kitty is annoying, annoying and blonde and a cheerleader and so incredibly stereotypical that Marley can't stand it. She'll be just like all the other bitchy girls at high school, Marley can tell. And in that moment, she can almost convince herself she doesn't like Kitty. That she loathes her, even.
Loathing; there's a strange exhilaration
In such total detestation
It's so pure, so strong,
Though I do admit it came on fast,
Still I believe that it can last, and I will be loathing you,
Loathing you, my whole life long.
-"What Is This Feeling?" Stephen Schwartz