A Spirit to be Loved

By: shar xei-kun

Notes: I have absolutely no idea why this story (even in this first chapter) become like this. T-T Anyways, the title's kinda weird so--- This might be a bit disturbing to you or something. Not much swearing in here but maybe on the other chapters so I'm warning you as early as now. ;;

What I mean in the summary of the word "dies" is that Naruto's not really dead. You will figure this one out when you read this chapter. Sorry if I confuse you whole damn fucking lot. Sorry again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. The 80-episode series downloaded are my sole possession, hehe.

Chapter 1: Mixed Up

For absolutely 17 years of my life, I tried to strengthen my power and abilities. To be a powerful Hokage is my dream. A dream that I've kept along all my grueling life in my entire existence to protect all the people I love and the town I've known.

Konoha.

The very lives of the people I've been trying to protect were the same ones who ignored me in my entire existence. Yes. It was they. But still. But, I can't blame them. It's because a powerful demon that has been inside me ever since I could remember. I never knew I could be so powerful like a nine-tailed demon fox with colossal powers. No wonder I'm hyperactive. A hyperactive idiot as Sasuke calls me all the time. Yes that little bastard genius.

Uchiha Sasuke.

Ugh. He seemed significant in my life. Oh yes. A stuck-up jerk and teammate I have to go along to all the time along with Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei. Those jet black eyes that transform into those crimson sharingan ones. That jet black spiky hair of his and the intense gaze he gave at everyone around. Yes. Those freaky but beautiful things. I admit; He was the one who saved me when he battled Haku despite of the danger that his life would be in exchange but still he did that just for me.

It was the start. Of what? Of falling for him.

In secret.

Yes. I fall in love with him for 5 years and keeping it all those times. I can't tell him that my love for him grew more and more as time passes by. I can't tell him that I used to dream about him all the time and wish in every dream that I would never wake up. I can't tell him that every time he was badly damaged, so is my heart. If I can't tell him all of these, much more, show it. I just can't. I can't bring myself to him and love me because---

Because--- He simply can't do it.

He hates me. Besides, his life is only centered on revenge on Itachi. His heart has no space for anymore else. I can't do anything about it. Although it did hurt me a lot, I have to try and forget everything about him every night but---

It was too late.

I can't erase him in my mind. I fell in love with him too deep that I can't go back anymore. It wounded my heart a lot to see those unemotional eyes gaze at me, but I had to hide my feelings for him. This pain I carry up to today was getting more painful everyday, and especially now. Sasuke was on a special mission and he'll be away for some time. Yes, it hurts when I admit to myself every single day that I can't bring myself to him. But it hurts even more when I don't see him. Seeing him is enough for me to bear the pain in this body but now---

"What the---!!!"

Shit. Kyubi's awake again. I hardly control Kyubi these days because of my perplexed mind. Now that he's awake again, I have to do something before he starts to go out of control. The powers he has are absolute but if you can't control them, it'll---

Eat you instead. Yes. Eat the fuck up your chakra and die instantly.

Hell, no... not like this.

"HE'S COMING OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes, I said it. He came out at the least expected time. I had to control him, or else I have to do two choices.

One is to sacrifice my life for the town's sake. I will no longer exist but Konoha is still there.

Two, is to let Kyubi go out of control, I'll be alive but Konoha will no longer exist.

Neither ones I would like to happen. Things just can't be this way, you know. So, I have to. Even in this state of physical and emotional weariness. For Konoha's sake and for my own. But somehow, Kyubi's powers are trying to contradict the last of me before he blows off.

A scream of pain erupted from my throat. A scream so loud it ripped my throat apart and maybe, just maybe this will be my last scream. I screamed many times but this one seems to be the loudest, hardest and the last one I will ever have. I don't know. It tells me that I have to choose now. In one hand, there is Konoha. In the other hand, there is me. Time is running out for me to choose. I don't want to die; I want to become a Hokage.

But what good is a Hokage if there is no town to protect?

Time's up. No good. It's getting worse. My body's giving up, but not my mind. Why is this happening to me???

I guess there's no choice now. Nope. This is for Konoha, and for my loved ones. It's funny; I didn't even shed a tear at this time because of the pain in the chest, heart and my mind. Weird enough. Maybe because my tears were already shed off the previous times. Yes. I've cried a lot before. Pathetic little me. -------

My breathing was getting harder and harder every moment that passed. Kyubi's really literally torturing me to death in this way. My body's going limp and numb. I can barely feel anything in my limbs and throughout my body. Is this death supposed to be? To feel your body goes knocked out and your eyes shut down and never wake up?

I think it is.

I can't breathe anymore. My eyes were growing heavy; wanting to close. I took a look around my room, the last thing to see in here; my thoughts of the guy I dreamed of were also my last. And also a last question:

Can a spirit loves someone and also be loved?

.........And my eyes shut down, never to wake up again.

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Two minutes passed since this happened. Footsteps were gathering at the front door of Naruto's apartment. They opened the door instantly, looked for him in every room, only to find him in his bed lying, immobile and pale.

Silence.

A sob followed that silence. It came from a certain blue-haired female shinobi, pale skin and those white eyes. Truly a trademark of the Hyuga clan. Hyuuga Hinata. "Naruto-kun........."

"Is he dead?" another voice spoke. This time it was a man's. It's obviously mature, and the man who spoke came, he's taller than Naruto, those familiar eyes, a mask and the head protector covering his left eye. Of course, who would ever forget those ash-gray hair of his?

Another one came. This time it was a girl's. "Let's see." She gulped. She also fears his teammate would never wake up now. She had pink hair, apple green eyes and a name similar to a flower. Haruno Sakura. "Hinata- san, you were the one who warned us about it, ne? Why don't you check him?" she said, her voice trembling. Fine. She may know that Naruto may be dead but......

Hope. One thing that keeps her standing here, still believing that Naruto might be alive and just sleeping.

"Byakugan." Hinata gathered up her chakra in her eyes, veins getting obvious near her orbs, proving she's using it. Right now she can see what's up inside Naruto that would give the three of them some answers. "I don't believe this. No. Impossible." The female Hyuuga shinobi trembled as her legs went limp and she fell on her knees.

"Why?" Sakura asked, sweat dropping her forehead. "He's dead?"

Hinata gathered herself and she stood up again to have a look at Naruto one more time. But still, the results were the same. "He's in a some kind of a coma but it looks like he's dead."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked again, her voice seems hysterical.

This time, Kakashi answered her, arms crossed. "The only thing that keeps him alive is his chakra because his spiritual self is missing. But his chakra won't last long and soon, he'll be dead. He was trying to control his inner colossal chakra but he failed to do it so he became like this."

"He won't wake up?"

"No. But in order for Naruto to be back to normal again, he has to go back to his body immediately before it's too late. But it would only happen if he's permitted." Kakashi said again, his voice seems low, almost a whisper.

"By the spirit mistress? But it says that she rarely permits people to go back to their bodies. Besides, Naruto's case is a rare one, right Kakashi- sensei?" Sakura tone down her hysterical voice earlier. It hurts to lose a friend and a teammate like Naruto. Even though she treats the guy like crazy, still it hurt. "Wait. When will be the time Sasuke-kun goes back to Konoha?"

"About two or three days." Kakashi bent down, crouching to face Sakura and Hinata. "Before you go home, don't ever tell anyone about this incident. Iruka's an exception. I'll tell him tomorrow about this. You two keep this one as a secret. Sakura, don't tell Sasuke about this. This is a part of teamwork. He'll eventually find this one on his own."

The two younger ninjas nodded in approval. "We'll be going."

And they were gone.

Meanwhile, Kakashi stayed in Naruto's room for some more time before he eventually left the apartment. "You did a good job in keeping the demon's power in control. Don't worry, he'll be home soon and you will rest."

---------------

"Where am I?" Naruto blinked his azure eyes, rubbed it then he blinked again. "Wow. I haven't seen this in Konoha but----"

He found himself in a forest garden, the most beautiful one he'd ever seen. The whole ground is green with some flowerbeds. He saw children playing in the beds, as well as some ninjas probably his age and some adult ninjas, too.

"Welcome to Eden." A friendly voice replied his question. The blonde shinobi turned around to see a smiling young lady about his age, dressed in a silky lavender kimono with a red obi to tie it up, but the kimono is a short one, it was only up the half of her thighs and a lavender shoe to go with it. She has a pale skin, a bit one like Hinata's and a gentle face. She has crimson hair, half of it is short, down to her mid neck and the other half is long, down to her waist. The long half of her silken hair is tied up by a white ribbon at the neck. The shorter half of the hair was left as it is, forming some bangs on her face. Her eyes were also the same color as her hair.

"Eden?" Naruto was puzzled. Is there a place like Eden in Konoha??

"You must be Uzumaki Naruto, right? The one who possesses the powerful nine-tailed demon fox?" she sat down beside the blonde shinobi. Naruto however, was puzzled more than ever. How the hell this girl knew his name and his secret?

"Hey, how the heck you know a number of info about me?" He was startled. "I am dead, right? Who are you?"

The girl nodded. "I'm Celeste, spirit mistress of Eden." She smiled again.

Blink, blink.

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Notes: Still no idea why this turned out like this. Seriously! Reviews/Feedbacks are truly appreciated. Sorry if I added an OC in here, there's another one in the next chapter and that another one will play a big role on Celeste's part (not on Naruto). Hmm. Dun kill me. ;;;