So this one-shot fic was inspired by my best friend and her ramblings one lunch time at school. She came up with the idea and I decided to write it. Anyway this story is basically a re-write of Gabriel's death except it isn't set in the 'Supernatural' universe and there is a lot of Sabriel thrown in. I'm not sure if it's good, don't hate me and please read and review! Thankyou! (Based on/inspired by the song About You Now by Sugababes)
They knew it hadn't been perfect for a while, they both knew it so well. And yet they were still clinging on. They still held the faintest hope that everything would be okay, that they would all be fine. But it was so hard to convince each other. Convince each other there was still enough love between them to force themselves through this daily pain. Not that there was no love. The truth was there was too much love. There was so much love that it caused pain to them both. And that was the part they couldn't live with. They couldn't hurt the one they loved every day, it wasn't fair.
So each day they would both say to themselves that today was the day they would walk away. But they never did it. The day would rush by and the right words would slip through their fingers, until there were only fake smiles left to carry on with. Fake smiles and forgotten words. You can't have a relationship built on those. That's why today was the day Gabriel had taken the step to walk away. After thinking about it for so long, he was doing it.
Not having the courage to tell Sam straight, he packed his bag in preparation. He couldn't face telling him, then having to go back to their apartment where all the memories would come flooding back and he would find it so hard to step back out again. Packing first was the best thing to do, there would be nothing left to come back and get. The memories would stay with him, in his heart. Just like Sam.
Reaching into the final draw he scooped out its contents and let them fall in a heap on the bed before he began to shove them unceremoniously into the bag that was already mostly full. Just as he picked up the last pile to pack, something silver about the size of a book fell out and landed on the bed.
Curious, Gabriel reached down and lifted it before turning it over in his hands. His heart stopped. It was the picture from their one year anniversary. It had been taken when they had been ice-skating (Sam's idea) and Gabriel had fallen down dramatically. After refusing to get up, Sam had glided over and taken both of his hands, pulling him up. But as a joke, Gabriel had thrown his weight against Sam and they had both gone careening to the floor, a bundle of limbs and happy smiles. The picture had been snapped just as they had regained themselves, still laughing on the ice. But the photo truly captured their happiness and utter joy of being together. If only it was still that way now.
The door to their apartment opened and closed. "Gabe, Gabriel, are you here?"
Sam was home. He had lingered too long. Stuffing the picture frame and the last items of clothes into his bag, he zipped it up and slung it over his shoulder before grabbing his other bag by the handle and heaving it off the bed.
"Yeah Sam, I'm here," Gabriel said, entering into their small living room where Sam was sitting down reading the newspaper.
"Great...wait what's with the bags?" Standing up, he made his way over in a few short strides.
"I'm moving out, I can't do this anymore."
"Do what?"
"Don't pretend everything's fine because it's not. You know it, I know it, it just took one of us to actually admit it."
"So what? Every couple goes through a difficult patch, that doesn't mean you just give up," Sam pleaded, blocking Gabriel's path as he made to walk towards the door.
"But this isn't a difficult patch, this is life, our life. Every day we get up, we barely talk, we go to work, we get home, we barely talk again then we go to bed. It's just repetition of the same Sam and I can't do it anymore. I'm saving you just as much as I'm saving myself. We need this."
Sam opened his mouth to say something but no words came out so Gabriel continued. "I mean we can't even say we love eachother anymore and actually mean it. Saying it is one thing, but feeling it is another."
"But I do love you."
"Damn it Sam," He shouted. "There you go again, keep repeating the same, keep trying to convince yourself as well as me that you do."
Hurt and anger welled up in Sam at the same time causing his rational thinking to be thrown out the window. "Fine you want the truth, you want words that mean something. I've only been staying with you because I felt sorry for you. I didn't leave because then you would be alone, you don't have anyone to go to so I stayed, not because I love you but because I pitied you. Now you know the truth you can leave. Go on, go!"
Gabriel stood frozen for a second, the pain from his words had hit him like a bucket of freezing water being poured over his head and down his back, but then he snapped out of his trance and shivered. Then, hitching his bag more firmly on his bag and adjusting his grip on the one in his hand, he walked to the door and left through it for the last time.
When he was out of sight he let the tears fall that had collected in the corners of his eyes. As he walked down the stairs and away from Sam, they began to flow in rivers, blurring his vision as he headed out into the busy street.
He wished Sam had never said those things. Were they true? No, no he couldn't believe that. He and Sam were happy, at least for a time, he couldn't believe that Sam would ever do something like that.
Walking fast, he made in the direction of a cheap motel that he knew was a couple of blocks away, the whole time thinking over what was just said. By the time he had reached the motel and got himself a room, he had already decided. He was going to give their relationship one more chance, one more stab. All bad had come from good at one point; he just needed to scrape away all their bad to reach their good that had been buried so low.
He collapsed onto his bed and just lay there thinking. What could he do? How could he sort this mess out? When no bright ideas made themselves known, he gave up for the night and got into bed hoping that in the morning a good idea would spring to mind.
Sam watched Gabriel walk out on him. He wanted to shout and scream, he wanted to get down on his knees and beg for him not to leave but he didn't. Instead he stared as the best thing that had ever happened to him walked out.
Why had he said that stuff? Of course none of it was true. He loved Gabriel but apparently just saying it wasn't enough. Well what was he supposed to do about that? He wished that he could take back his words but he didn't know which ones he would replace them with.
Sighing quietly, he wiped away the tear that had strayed over his cheek. He was alone and it was all his fault. If he had just listened to the first warning signs and tried to repair their relationship from the beginning then this might not have happened. But he hadn't and he couldn't take any of it back now. Regret. The worst feeling anyone could have. Not wanting to drink himself into oblivion because he had work in the morning, Sam just turned up his radio incredibly loud, ignoring the disapproving shouts from his neighbours, and flopped down onto his bed. Regret. A feeling you can never escape.
The morning came quicker than expected with his alarm rousing him from his thankfully dreamless sleep. Putting together a quick breakfast of toast and an apple, he shaved before dressing in his suit and heading out the door. He hurried down the two flights of stairs that led to the doors where he could exit his apartment building.
For being early morning the streets were surprisingly busy. He supposed that was a good thing meaning he could just blend in with the crowds, just another person going about their business, nothing special, nothing important. But Gabriel had made him feel special and important.
His heart ached as he entered his office and got to work, doing his best to ignore everyone and everything around him. When it was time for his lunch break, he strode across the road to where a small cafe was situated conveniently for anyone who had forgotten to prepare food for themselves. He ordered a coffee and salad but barely picked at it. After downing the cold dregs of his drink, he dropped some money on the table and turned to walk out only to be met by Gabriel.
"We need to talk," He said. There were dark patches under his eyes practically screaming that he had had a terrible sleep.
"I said everything yesterday," Sam answered. What was he doing? Apologise! Tell the truth! His brain was screaming at him but his tongue ignored its plea.
"Are you sure? Because I think we can sort this out, we just need to talk."
"I have to get back to work."
"Damn it Sam why won't you listen?" People started to turn around because of their raised voices but Gabriel didn't care. "I'm trying to give us one more chance, why won't you take it?"
"You were the one that walked out, okay. Now I have to get back to work, my lunch breaks over." There was finality in his words, like a book closing after the last page had been read. Gabriel felt it like a tonne of bricks and stepped to the side to let Sam pass which he did without a word.
Sam was across the street and about to enter back into his work building when Gabriel came to his senses. No, he couldn't let things end like this, Sam had to know, he had to see.
"Sam, wait please!" He called across the road.
"No Gabriel we're done," Sam shouted, glancing back quickly.
Gabriel looked left and right and saw no cars close so he stepped out into the road. It was only when he was half way across that the car pulled out at an impossibly fast speed. Appearing out of nowhere, Gabriel had no time to react, only time to watch it speed towards him. Then it hit and he went flying over the bonnet, up over the roof before hitting the ground with a deafening crack.
The scene froze and Sam was screaming. It was as though it was in slow motion as he sprinted over and held Gabriel's broken body. The car had long since sped off; unaware and uncaring that it had taken two lives not one. Other passersby on the streets rushed over and tried to pull Sam back but he wouldn't let go of Gabriel.
Blood poured out of multiple gashes that could never be fixed by any amount of stitches and the same red liquid had collected in the corners of his mouth. They overflowed and ran down his chin. Sam pulled his sleeve over his hand and gently wiped the trails away not caring that his best suit was now ruined.
"Gabe? Gabriel? Please, please wake up. Like you said, we need to talk, we can sort all this out. And I know you said you don't believe it but it's true, I love you, damn I love you so much it hurts. I have no idea why I said that stuff yesterday and if I could bring yesterday back around, I know what to say now. I know how I feel about you so you can't leave, you can't leave me Gabriel! Damn it, oh god please, please wake up. Don't leave me!"
He heard the distant sounds of an ambulance and a few seconds later it rounded a corner and came to a stop not too far away. Everything became a blur after that. The paramedics ran forward and prised his hands off Gabriel, letting his limp body fall to the floor. He fought to try and get to his side as he was strapped onto a stretcher and carried away but the crowd that had gathered forced him back, holding him in place. He watched on helplessly as the ambulance doors were slammed shut and the sirens sounded.
He continued to scream long after they had driven away as the strangers hugged him to them. Their reassuring grip did nothing to silence or calm him. He just fell onto his knees and hoped the tears would drown him.
Everything was his fault, this was his fault. If he could just bring back yesterday, if he could just go back and set things right. But fate doesn't work that way and he was left to cry in the middle of a usually loud street surrounded by strangers.
He didn't even know that the kiss that they had shared yesterday morning would be their last. Sam didn't want that to be their last, he didn't want this to end at all, with forgotten feelings and unbelievable words of love. How was that fair? How was it fair that the last time Sam saw Gabriel his body was broken and covered in blood? How was it fair that he now had to bury his lover without even getting to say a proper goodbye? How was it fair that the last words he got to say to lover, to his angel were words that he couldn't hear because he was already gone? How was that fair?
The only thing Sam could pray for now was to bring yesterday back around because he knew how he felt about him now.
Thankyou again for reading, I hope you enjoyed it and please review! :)