I was born to love you baby.
"I get to stay with you?" I demanded
"Forever" mommy promised her.
We had forever. And i could see the smile light up my mom's face in the same way my smile probably lit up mine.
"Forever" daddy echoed. I looked to Jacob then and mouthed "forever" to him. I had never felt so much happiness.
That was in a long time ago now. I guess you could say the drama that plagued the start of my life still haunts my family, not everyday, not all the time, but you can sense it sometimes when one of them is too still, and you can feel it on an out breath, and i can see it when they look at me and when they talk of our future. Because vampires never forget, we haven't, and the Volturi certainly won't.
Until the day when we will have to face them again we live our lives wrapped up in relative happiness, not quite human lives but lives lead with a healthy dose of humanity at least. At the moment we are living in Minnesota, we being my mum, dad, rose and emmett. I live about an hour away in college halls, Alice and jasper live a couple of hours run away further down south whilst my grandparents live on one of the small islands off the mainland. We have a boat so it doesn't take long to get to them and we see each other often enough.
Our living arrangements have never ever been permanent in all the years I have lived. Sometimes we all live together and sometimes we break off. My grandparents always stay close though which is great because I don't get to see my other grandpa, Charlie, as much as I would like to.
My mum, my dad and me go back to forks every couple of months but we only stay for a handful of days, never more than a week because we can't be seen around the town and we get a bit sick of being cooped in the cottage away from civilisation. We arrive at night and we leave at night. Everytime.
Having said that I love forks, of course I do. It's my home, it's where I grew up, it's where my family are. It's where Jake is. My imprint. My best friend.
My relationship with Jake is a little odd, when I was younger he was my brother-come-best friend, but he was also the person who I looked up to in every sort of way. He was always there, always making sure I felt loved. When I went through my awkward teenage phase at 6, he helped me in more ways than I can express. I don't know whether it was because he was a werewolf or because he was my imprint, but he helped calm all the anger I felt like no one else could.
When I grew out of that stage my understanding of my life grew also and my appreciation for those who fought for me when I was just a child became amplified. Grandpa Carlisle's theory is that when the hormones settled in place and I stopped ageing, certain parts of my personality grew stronger whilst other bits that I no longer needed - like my typical teenage frustration and self hatred - diminished.
All that remained after was how grateful I was to be alive and with my family and how much I loved them. Of course the fear never ebbed. The fear that still haunts my shadow everywhere I go, reminding me that one day I could lose it all because of them. The Volturi.
But I guess that doesn't really matter whilst I am here at college studying for my finals attempting to re-read the most boring chapter I possibly could on human interaction with wild animals 20,000 years ago. And here I thought my human evolution module would be interesting. It just goes to show how much humans can really miss out on when ignoring the obvious fangs glinting right in front of them. Not that I'm smug or anything.
As I think this I hear my flatmate- possibly Tara judging from the footfalls and frantic heartbeat - come in the front door to our dormitory. That's another thing that's been tricky. Trying to fit in with new dorm mates is hard enough without wanting to suck their blood every other minute. It's not been so bad learning how to control it though, thanks to the compassion instilled in me from my grandparents and the overzealous sense of control my dad has, I've learned to cope I suppose.
I sigh as I get up and open my door
"Hey Tara, how was the run?"
"Jeez Ness! You scared me" she exclaimed moving her hand to place over her chest and using the other one to nudge the earpiece out of her ear as she entered the fridge simultaneously. I frowned, thinking I would have to work harder on my human movements. Apologising, I took the magazine Kira had left on the table. Tara was a running maniac, health freak, Kira was the beauty queen of the year. Both were nice enough girls though. Jenna was rarely here and if she was she happened to be attached to the face of a footballer from down the hall. Not that I was jealous or anything.
"Did you get your assignment done?" She asked sitting down on the opposite sofa, turning the tv on and biting into a slice of cold pizza.
"No" I sighed "still have my reading to do. Why is it that studying something will automatically make the entire subject boring and meaningless to you?"
"Ha!" Kira snorted entering the living area from her room, she looked like she had just woken up though it was 4pm "you're telling me. I hate math and I hate my dad more for making me study it" she begrudged,
"See, this is why you choose a subject with no exam or theory-related content, like mine"
"Yeah, because running for a living is all the rage now. I hear people get paid to the dime for that stuff"
"They do, Kira. It's called the Olympics"
"It's called being stupid"
"It's called having a dream"
"No, it's called-"
"Alright ladies that's enough of that" I intervened. I loved being at college and living away from home sometimes but Kira and Tara's bickering was enough to drive anyone insane. Just then my phone rang. Jake.
The look on my face must have given it away because the girls decided it was fair to tease me as I scrambled back into my room and shut the door. I could still hear their girly high -pitched voices as I answered the phone
"Jake" I breathed a sigh of relief
"Hey loca, how's my favourite college-girl doing? Got that diploma yet?" He teased. His warm, cheery voice made me smile. I could tell he was outside walking from the sounds on the other end of the phone and I imagined him coming back from patrol, or walking down to the beach, or going into his garage. I missed him.
"Pft. Hardly. I can't get past chapter 12 of my human evolution book at the moment"
"Ah ness, all good scholars hit a wall at some point"
"Oh yeah, do they do it with their head by any chance?"
"No" he dragged out the sound in a sarcastic way "they do it by breaking through, of course"
"Oh really? And what would you know Mr. I have a degree in barking"
"Ooo ouch ness. Way to kick a dog when he's down. Besides we all know you're the breadwinner my love, I'm just the mechanic" my sensors immediately went up in response to the first part of his sentence which I noticed he tried to gloss over.
"What do you mean 'you're down' ? What's up jake, is everything okay on the res?"
"Everything's fine ness" he sighed "you're such a worry wort"
"And you brush off anything you might upset me, I'm not a kid jake, spill."
Jake paused before sighing again "nothing I can't handle ness, there's a new scent round the area, it seems to be sticking but no injuries or deaths or anything else out of the ordinary yet"
"Yet?" I edged
"Yet" he confirmed. His silence was testing my patience
"Jake come on don't shut me out, tell me" I pleaded.
Another pause. "Oh I don't know ness, something just doesn't feel right about it."
"But there haven't been any strange sightings?"
"No nothing. That's what's so odd. I almost want there to be something so we have a lead, but of course if there is the victim probably won't live to tell the tale whoever they might be."
At this I gasped. Jakes tone sounded very off, like whatever was going on his end had him spooked.
"What do the others think?" I pried
"Not a lot really" I could almost sense him rubbing the back of his neck red, "they think we shouldn't do anything until something happens, like we should wait around and not stop whatever this might be that's crossing the borders." He exclaimed in an irritated voice
"But jake, you don't know what's crossing your borders, the guys have a point. How can you stop something if you don't know where or what it is?"
At this he was silent and I could feel his defeat. I longed to be with him in this moment, to hold him and show him that I loved him, that he was a great pack leader and that it would be okay. But then again it might be a vampire from Italy reporting back to Aro and effectively signing our death sentence. In which case I hoped they would catch it. Whatever it was.
"Did you tell me parents?" I enquired after a pause
"Yeah" he breathed out "they said if it continues on for the next couple of weeks they'll make a trip out but I told them not to-"
"No Jake we can come!" I interrupted. I hadn't seen him in 62 days now and I would love the excuse to go back rather than wait another month to see him as planned.
"Ness" he chuckled "you need to study. We agreed to you spending as much time there as you can so you can study for your finals, you know, the very important exams you have in three weeks! Like I'd let you come back for an inconsequential thing like this"
"Well look at you using fancy words! Are you sure you don't want to take my exams for me, I could always use a human dictionary. "
"Gotta whack 'em out once in a while ness, can't have you thinking your best friend is a total idiotic loser"
"No worries about that happening then" i drawled sarcastically "stop sticking your tongue out at the phone. It doesn't work when I can't see it you know"
"Well you guessed well enough didn't you? So I hasten to object to your previous statement, miss Cullen"
I laughed "caw, no ones called me Cullen in ages"
"Well you'll always be a Cullen to me, no matter how many aliases you take on ness" I could tell he was smiling on his end and I would have been too if not for my mind thinking about what it would be like to be Renesmee Black.
"Hey ness, I gotta go, patrols just starting-"
"Oo who are you going out with?" I asked, distracted from my prior thought.
"Gotta train up the newbies. Peter and Jackson are coming out and Leah and Colin are helping me to guide them. They've only been out a handful of times so far" I was quiet then.
Shapeshifting was long a part of Quileute legends and when older members of the pack would retire it was long know that the transformation would trigger new wolves to join. Ever since the battle against the Volturi, the guys all believed the phasing would stop. But now there are about 23 wolves, excluding Sam, Paul and Jared. Though Quil was about to marry he had no intention of quitting the pack yet and Leah had stayed out of loyalty and distraction from her non existent love life. Jake had told me that even Brady was thinking about leaving soon enough to go travelling around Europe. I knew that it haunted jake to be alpha of a pack which knew no limits. Guiding 23 werewolves definitely took its toll on him, but Leah and Seth were great supports and together they led the ever-growing pack. Of course we all had our explanations behind why the pack was growing to be so big, and all feared the worst even if we did not always express these fears aloud.
"Okay, jake" I sighed, coming back to the present, "be safe. I love you"
"Always am, I love you too. Go back to studying so I don't have to worry about you working in walmart when the school kicks you out"
"You joke now Jacob black but that is a very real possibility. Besides I would rock the uniform obviously"
"Haha I have no doubt ness" and with that he ended the conversation.
I wondered briefly about making a quick call to my parents about jakes situation before deciding I would do it tomorrow. I did after all have an exam at 12. One for which I was entirely considering slitting my throat before. Knowing my luck I probably wouldn't bleed out.