Title : His Brother and His Lover

Summary : Reishin's elder brother gets very much involved in his love life.

Time-Fit : After Blue Ribbon. In relation to the anime, this takes place three years after the end of Season 1.

Disclaimer : I do not own these characters. They and Saiunkoku Monogatari belong to Sai Yukino.

Rating : NC-17 for theme only

Genre : Friendship/Angst/Humour

Warnings : Yaoi

Pairing : Kijin/Reishin

italics = thoughts; bold= flashback

Shoka studied his brother with concern. In the harsh late morning light, Reishin's eyes were puffy, post-crying puffy. And in almost four decades of being big brother, Shoka could count on one hand the times Reishin had cried.

He frowned. Shoka had lost count of the number of fights he had to "sit" through. Given how calm and dignified his brother's lover appeared in public, it was a surprise how often the couple quarrelled.

The frown morphed into a half-smile. Their making up was always almost immediate, and sometimes tooth-achingly sweet. Shoka marvelled at the energy and passion of these two thirty-nine year-olds.

The half-formed smile dissolved. To leave on a trip, without resolving the fight, was not good. And this trip to the Hong province would take a month at least. Shoka cleared his throat to get Reishin's attention.

Reishin turned from staring out of the carriage window.
"What is it, Brother Shoka?"

"I can see that you had a fight. A month is a long time to stay angry with each other. We can turn back, Reishin."

Reishin pursed his lips, and shook his head.

"Alright then. What happened this time?"

The dainty lips trembled.
"Kijin thinks I'm no better than an amoeba!"

Shoka blinked rapidly at his newly uni-cellular younger brother, his mind doing mental acrobatics.

Amoeba. Single-cell organism.
Low life-form.
Is that what this is about? Secretary Ko calling Reishin a low-life?
No, I can't believe he would ever do that.

Come ON, think!
What other traits make up an amoeba?

"He thinks I don't love him. He thinks I'm with him because he needs me. How could he, Brother Shoka! After twenty one years together too!"

Ah so.
This is about Secretary Ko's complex.
Yes, I'm quite familiar with that, more than Reishin is aware of.
But how does it tie in with an amoeba?

"Reishin, how about starting at the beginning?"

[Flashback]

Closing the lid of the luggage chest, Reishin announced.
"There! I'm all done. If we forgo sleep tonight, we have exactly twelve hours to have sex!"

Coming up from behind, and slipping his arms round Reishin's waist, Kijin nuzzled his lover's neck.
"That's not even one week's worth, Dumpling."

A quarter of a week's worth later, Reishin looked fondly at his partner's face, inches from his own. Exhausted, Kijin had fallen asleep on top of him. Reishin smiled to himself as he adjusted Kijin's head, to allow it to rest more comfortably.

Good lord, he weighs a tonne! I can hardly breathe!
This is new. He has somehow always managed to roll off me before falling asleep.
Ah well, my dear Kijin, we ARE getting older, aren't we?

Listening to Kijin's deep breathing, Reishin pondered on the difference that he sensed in Kijin's mood. Kijin's love-making was passionate, as always; tender, as always; but beyond that, beyond the tenderness, Reishin felt, strangely enough, a sadness.

Why?
Should I ask him?

Kijin stirred.
"Oh, sorry, Dumpling. Why didn't you just push me off?"

"You know I wouldn't do that."

Kijin mumbled drowsily against Reishin's shoulder.
"Yes, I know. You're too good to me. And I'll always remember that."

"remember"?
What is going on?
Turning his head to ask, he found Kijin asleep.

Reishin sipped his tea in silence, waiting for Kijin to finish his breakfast before broaching the subject. He always knew when Kijin has had his fill – there was a tiny flourish to the setting down of the chopsticks on the jade chopsticks stand for the final time.

"Kijin, what did you mean by 'remember'? What is making you sad?"

Keeping his eyes on the jade chopsticks stand, Kijin said nothing.

"Kijin, please."

"Alright, Reishin, I guess this is as good a time as any to say it. I'm not sad. I have everything I want, which, translated, means you. I feel sad, for you. You'll be forty next month. You'll enter middle-age without having experienced the love of your life."

The cup of tea fell from Reishin's nerveless fingers. He was oblivious to the warm tea soaking through his skirts. Reishin's voice was barely audible.
"I thought you were the love of my life."

Kijin reached across the table for Reishin's trembling hand.

"Don't. Don't touch me."

Kijin withdrew his hand.
"Reishin, you respond to those who need you. It started with me, of course. I pulled out all stops. I played up the fact that you were responsible for my first ever erection. I made you feel sorry for me. I secured the bed next to yours in the dormitory. I hounded you. I stood guard for you when you sneaked out to take your baths in the middle of the night. I made myself useful to you. I even changed my name officially to 'weirdo', just to impress you."

Taking a deep breath, Kijin continued.
"Then there's Yushin. For eight years, he kept his love for you secret. When he revealed his feelings, you responded. Don't you remember, Reishin? You came to me, frightened at your own reaction, wondering how is it that you can feel that way, when all those years you had never thought of him as anything more than a friend. And of course, even before Yushin, there was Kocho."

"Ko Kijin, you are not seriously suggesting that I responded to Kocho?"

"No, not physically. You are not able to respond to women. But you did the next best thing. You became her bosom friend, you backed her in her climb to become the owner of Koga House, you allowed her free licence to touch your body."

Kijin's voice became very gentle.
"And of course, there's Ran Setsuna. We both know you loved him. But, again, you had no reaction to him until AFTER he revealed how he felt about you."

After a couple of minutes of silence, Reishin ground out,
"So what is your point? That the feelings I have for people are merely a reflection of what they feel for me? That I have no volition? That I respond to external stimuli automatically? Like some kind of low-level organism?"

"Reishin, I didn't say . . ."

"Oh my god, are you saying that my reflected feelings are not real enough? That my amoeba response is not good enough for you? Damn you, Ko Kijin."

[End of Flashback]

It was Shoka's turn to stare out of the carriage window. He had said nothing after Reishin's account of the fight.

Reishin watched his elder brother in trepidation. Just before Shoka turned away from him, Reishin saw the blood-red eyes flash. Ever since he was a child, Reishin had always been afraid of those red eyes. And he had, in his childish logic, concluded that Shoka must know that his eyes were frightening, and that was why he always kept them shielded with his eyelids, giving rise to his signature crescent-eyed amiable expression.

Studying his brother's face, Reishin decided that though the eyes were crescents, there was nothing amiable in that expression. The brows were drawn together, and the jaw was tightly clenched. He had never seen his brother this angry.

"We're turning back."

"But, Brother Shoka . . ."

"Shut up, Reishin."

[[Scene Break]]

Kijin stared at the serving tray left in front of him. Two bowls of piping hot rice porridge, and a small saucer of vegetables pickled in light soya sauce.

Reishin. His Dumpling. Even in the upheaval of the fight, and the tears, and of leaving for the Hong province, Reishin remembered to instruct Aunt Chen to prepare a porridge meal to soothe his cholic-ky stomach, knowing very well that in his upset, Kijin would not remember to eat lunch.

He lifted the first bowl to his lips. As he sipped the hot rice gruel, he wondered about what was happening in the carriage. He was certain that Reishin would relate the details of their fight to Shoka. He trusted the intelligence and innate sensitivity of Shoka to pick out the one glaring omission in his list of Reishin's "loves". He was confident that Shoka would see what had bypassed the agitated Reishin altogether.

Putting down the second bowl, Kijin smiled. He ate everything, dutifully. Reishin would be pleased with him. At that thought, the pain in his chest returned. He got up to lie down in bed.

The bedroom door burst open. Kijin spun around, just in time to see burning red eyes, and to connect with a brutal punch to his jaw.

"Brother Shoka! Oh my god, Kijin!"
Reishin entered the room to see Kijin sprawled on the floor, holding his jaw.

"Stay out of this, Reishin."
Shoka snapped.

"Brother Shoka, please, this has got nothing to do with you."

Shoka laughed mirthlessly.
"That's where you are mistaken. Your lover, my dense little brother, is trying to get me in bed with you. He didn't fight with you, Reishin, he was using you to send me a message."

Reishin blanched, started to protest, saw Kijin's face, and silently collapsed into a chair.

Shoka turned to Kijin, his voice tight with anger.
"You knew I would notice your omission – that I was Reishin's first love. So which is it, Secretary Ko? Did you not believe me three years ago, when I said I don't reciprocate Reishin's feelings? Or did you think by showing me how pathetic Reishin is in not having experienced the love of his life, that I would sleep with him out of sympathy? You bastard. And I thought we were friends."

"I have always considered you a friend, Lord Shoka. And I don't care what you think of me, as long as you're honest with yourself."

"Don't you push it onto me. I'm not the one with issues. You are. I was present when you told Kocho that like her, you played your cards well to engage Reishin. You also told her that as such, you are always ready to let Reishin go if and when he falls in love. And that, Secretary Ko, was twelve years BEFORE you found out that Reishin had a crush on me when he was fourteen. Your guilt complex about how you engaged Reishin is the issue, not Reishin's teenage crush on me. Don't you dare twist things around to make Reishin feel guilty about that."

Seeing Kijin's ashen face, Reishin pleaded with his brother.
"Brother Shoka, please stop."

Turning to Reishin, Shoka sighed.
"What are you going to do with him, Reishin?"

"D-do?"

"Yes, what does one do with a lover that is 'grateful for every year that passes', but is constantly on the look-out to give you away?"

Reishin bit his lip.
"Did Kijin say that – grateful for every year that passes?"

Shoka nodded.
"So what are you going to do? After twenty one years of loving him, he likens you to an amoeba. Maybe you should give up on him?"

"What? No! I'm not giving up on him!"

"Alright then. You know, Reishin, you really need to get over that ridiculous squeamishness. Just come out and tell him you love him. Put the poor man out of his torment."

Shoka walked over to Kijin and pulled him off the floor.
"In spite of everything, I still think you're good for Reishin. I like you. And I appreciate your friendship. What I'm going to do next, Secretary Ko, is out of pure friendship."

"Brother Shoka! Oh my god, Kijin!"

Kijin, back down on the floor, and clutching his groin, groaned.
"What the hell! What did you do that for? What kind of friend are you?"

"Look, Reishin and I have to leave again for Hong province right after dinner. Knowing you two, the moment I leave this room, you'll be all over each other. And these three hours are better spent talking things out then romping in bed."

"I can't believe you'd actually manage my sex life!"
Pulling himself onto the chair, Kijin groaned.
"You've crippled me!"

"Hardly, Secretary Ko. You'll be up and about way before Reishin returns from the trip. There will be some magnificent bruising, though. Ah, yes, Reishin, you need to go get some ice for that."

Shoka waited till Reishin left the room before speaking again.
"Now that Reishin is not here, we can talk about what really bothers you. You think that Reishin has never stopped loving me, right?"

"Can you honestly say that you think he's over you, Lord Shoka?"

"You mean, based on how he behaves around me? Like what you said three years ago? The blushing, the tittering, how flustered he gets?"

Kijin hesitated before speaking.
"It isn't just me, Lord Shoka. I don't know, and I'm not asking, if you told your late wife about Reishin's teenage crush. But even if you didn't, there is this thing about women's intuition. And Bara Hime's behaviour towards Reishin was a strange mix of rudeness and brusque kindness."

Shoka frowned in a silent question.

"Reishin was upset and thoroughly confused, that first and only time he visited your manor after Shurei was born. Bara Hime told him he had a 'black heart', that he should practice smiling, plus a host of other rude things; and yet, she practically pushed her baby into his arms."

"About the black heart, Secretary Ko, that's really Reishin's doing. He made me promise not to tell her that he ousted me from my rightful position as head of the Hong clan for my own protection. And frankly, I still don't know why Reishin chose to be misunderstood."

"I know that, Lord Shoka."
Kijin shrugged.
"I put that down to Reishin's general weirdness when it comes to things to do with you."

Shoka laughed, a trifle self-consciously.

Kijin's voice softened.
"Holding baby Shurei both delighted and hurt Reishin. He realized how much he wanted a child. Initially I thought Bara Hime did it out of spite - to flaunt the physical evidence of her marriage to you. But later I changed my mind. I believe she was responding to Reishin's need, which, at that point in time, Reishin himself wasn't aware of."

"I didn't know all that, Secretary Ko. I have never told her about Reishin. But I do remember that when we took in Seiran, she made it a point to inform Reishin that it was an adoption, and not just taking a young steward."

Kijin laughed softly in recollection.
"Yes, and the next thing I knew, Reishin came home from an errand, with a homeless child he picked up from the street! We have Bara Hime to thank for having Koyu in our lives."

Shoka laughed.
"Well, at least Reishin picked a good kid!"

Becoming solemn, Shoka said,
"Where was I through all of this? Why didn't she tell me any of this?"

"I don't know her. I think we've exchanged maybe all of ten sentences. But I guess, since you've never told her, she couldn't be sure that you were even aware of it."

Shoka sighed.
"And I can never be sure, can I? But I like to think that Reishin's fluster is due to embarrassment. Whichever it is, nothing will ever happen between us. Unlike what you suspect, I am not holding back because he is my brother. I am not attracted to men, and I don't believe in sympathy sex. So, really, Secretary Ko, I do not appreciate you trying to fix us up. Nor do I appreciate your highlighting of this issue."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I know you meant well. Just don't repeat it. And for goodness' sake, stop offering Reishin to other people!"

"I . . ."

"If it's worth anything, Secretary Ko, I don't see that you need to feel any guilt. You played your cards well, yes, and why not? You went all-out to win the person you fell in love with. What is wrong with that? You did everything openly and honestly. If, as you fear, Reishin accepted you out of anything other than love, then that is HIS problem, not yours. You don't need to run around trying to help him find true love! Alright, enough said, I'll leave you two to sort things out. Can I have the use of a guestroom till dinner?"

[[Scene Break]]

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Kijin watched in silence as Reishin applied the cold compress to his groin, his mind running through and discarding all manners of apologies. By the time Reishin dropped the crushed ice and cloth back into the bucket, Kijin was still at a loss as to what to say.

"Reishin, I . . . I finished the porridge."

Reishin giggled. The giggles grew. And then the hiccups started.
"You (hic) big idiot! Help (hic) me!"

Kijin knew what was expected. The most effective way to cure Reishin's hiccups was to kiss him. And as always, feeling Reishin's body jump against his own, feeling Reishin hiccup into his mouth, would turn him on.

By the time they pulled apart, Kijin was scowling.
"I hate your brother."

"Never mind, Kijin, it's good practice."

"For what?"

"For growing old together!"

Kijin laughed.
"Ah so, togetherness-without-sex!"

Reishin's voice became serious.
"Kijin, I want us to grow old together. I don't just want you to feel grateful for each year that passes. I want you to feel secure, to look forward to each year that is to come."

Squaring his shoulders, and blushing deeply from the awkwardness, Reishin looked directly into his lover's eyes.
"I love you, Ko Kijin."

Kijin growled.
"Now I really, really hate your brother."

Giggling, Reishin asked,
"Aren't you supposed to say 'I love you' too?"

"I want to say it the usual way."
Kijin started undoing Reishin's bright orange sash.

"But . . ."

"I'm not going to let some bruises, and that managing brother of yours, stop me. Not after waiting twenty-one years. I want to say 'I love you' when I'm in you, and to feel you clench around me when you say the words back."

His eyes fixed on the multi-hued bruises, Reishin remonstrated,
"Kijin, I really don't think . . ."

"Don't."

The yellow belt came off.

"Think, that is."

The maroon-trimmed mauve outer-skirt slipped off the edge of the bed.

"An amoeba is not equipped to think."

Hazel eyes glinted from beneath heavily hooded lids. Red lips thinned out in a serpentine smile.
"Very well, Ko Kijin, don't blame me if it hurts."
Reishin's white fingers curled around the rainbow-coloured erection none too gently.

[Half an hour later]

Tracing the tear-dampened long black lashes on the alabaster cheek with his fingertip, Reishin threatened softly.
"If you're going to cry every time I say it, I'll take back the I-love-you."

Kijin chuckled, opening his eyes to look up at Reishin.
"I take back what I didn't say - about the amoeba. It's hardly appropriate, anyway, the asexual reproduction thing. Amoebae reproduce without having sex. And you, my Dumpling, have sex without reproducing."

Reishin laughed.
"That's a good one. So, Ko Kijin, game for more a-reproductive sex?"

Kijin pulled Reishin down on top of his re-awakening member.
"Always, Dumpling, until the day this doesn't work anymore."

Reishin ground his own arousal against Kijin's.
"I'm older. By four months. Mine should fail first. Therefore."

Kijin moaned.
"Therefore what?"

Rolling off Kijin to reach for the oil, Reishin announced,
"Therefore I'm topping."

"Alright, Uncle."
Shaking with laughter and anticipation, Kijin obediently spread his legs.
"I adore it when you take charge, Dumpling."

[[Scene Break]]

Shoka, seated alone at the Ko Manor's dining table, was not particularly surprised to be informed by Kijin's head-servant that Master Kijin and Master Reishin would be partaking their dinner in their bedroom.

He was surprised, however, as he watched the servants set the table, deferentially placing one saucer after another of pickled vegetables in front of him; and lastly, a bowl of steaming white rice, together with a sealed envelope.

Shoka read the familiar elegant script.
"Pickles, free flow of green tea and rice.
To feed you at all is way too nice!
Your brother and I, we couldn't wait -
now I can't manage a decent gait!
I'd thank you if I weren't so raw,
my old friend/rival/brother-in-law."

Shoka burst out laughing. He raised his teacup in a toast.
Way to go, Ko Kijin!

Picking up the chopsticks, he settled down to enjoy his dinner.
Pickles.
Just the thing I need, after the greasy lunch at the roadside eatery this afternoon.
Thank you, Reishin.

[THE END]

Notes :

(1) The story of Kijin pulling out all stops to court Reishin is told in K-I-J-I-N Chapter 1: Unconventional Friendship.

(2) The story of Yushin's love for Reishin is told in The Other Me.

(3) The story of Kocho and Reishin's friendship is told in Gamble/Rabbits.

(4) The story of Ran Setsuna's love for Reishin is told in Blue Ribbon.

(5) The story of Reishin's teenage crush is told in Brother Shoka. (6) Kijin calling Reishin "Uncle" is a reference to the Chinese way of addressing older male strangers as "Uncle" or "Elder Brother", depending on the stranger's age in relation to your own.

FOR THOSE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE SAIUNKOKU MONOGATARI FANDOM

(1) "ki-jin" means "weirdo".

(2) Reishin's extreme behaviour when in the presence of Shoka is canon.

(3) Bara Hime's words "black heart", her telling Reishin to learn how to smile, and her general animosity towards Reishin is canon. In the scene (anime Season1) where that occurred, Reishin was shown cradling baby Shurei.

(4) In anime Season 1, there was a scene where Koyu got drunk. He related how Reishin told him that he adopted him because Shoka had just adopted Seiran, and Reishin had wanted to experience the same thing.