Inspired by Mercury32's comment about Lita wearing Jeff's pants, and Jeff
wearing Lita's tops. My mind immediately went places it shouldn't. This
is NOT Lita/Jeff however. Just read the damn thing, I own none of the
characters! For anyone who wants to sue me…well…don't. Just trade me in
for a cool pair of boots.
"Game's over Lita."
He says that and I gasp. "Matt, what are you talking about?"
I'm in my dressing room, not even ready to go out there. And now here he is, getting all pissy with me."
"You know what I'm talking about. Don't play stupid with me. I know what's going on."
I stop cutting my shirt and finally face him. "And just what is going on, Matthew?"
"Simple. I finally put it all together, and you know what did it? One of Jeff's mesh shirts."
I must have had a funny look in my eye, and he must have thought I was playing dumb. "And then I thought about your thongs showing. I put two and two together, you weren't trying to make some trademark for yourself, you were in pants that were too big for you."
"And this has what to do with you burst in on me?"
"Well, I just had an epiphany."
"Did you hurt yourself?"
"Funny. I thought, hmmm…Jeff's shirts look an awful lot like something you'd wear, and your pants are too big…maybe, just maybe…you two were wearing each other's clothes?"
"There's a law against that now? Is this going somewhere?"
"Yes, in fact, this is going somewhere I wish it wasn't going. Lita…why would your clothing get switched like that? Well, maybe, just maybe, it was because you two were sleeping together behind my back."
I nearly choke to keep from laughing.
"You think because of that…that I'm cheating on you with Jeff?"
"Yes. That's what I think. You two fluked, he ended up in one of your shirt, you ended up in a pair of his pants, and you tried to cover up with it being your new look."
Once more I'm trying not to laugh. "Matt…you couldn't be more wrong!"
"Oh, really? Lita, come on, let's be serious here. I mean, we've hit a rough point in our relationship, and if you can tell me you've never considered cheating on me…"
That was when I stopped laughing. "Like you've considered cheating on me?"
"That's beside the point!"
Oh…now we get down to the point.
"So, let me get this straight, you're going to come in here and accuse me of cheating based on that evidence, when I have more evidence against you and yet I haven't said word one to you…"
"What evidence?" he yells at me.
Ooohhh, so he wants to go there. "Well, let's see…there was when Torrie kissed you on national television. And then, let's not forget that Trish came out of YOUR dressing room at Survivor Series!"
"And you're going to hold that against me?"
"Well, I wasn't! But now, since you're going to be an asshole about my wardrobe, I am! You're going to come in here and ask if I cheated on you and expect me not to be pissed off at you?"
"Okay, you want to hear it? Fine! I slept with Trish Stratus! Twice! And she gave me a blowjob before Survivor Series!"
I freeze up. "You…you slept with her? And you let her suck your dick right before I had to be in the ring with her?"
"Well, you've been fucking my kid brother!"
"You don't know that!"
"Well, have you?"
"Let me get this straight. You want to know if I ever cheated on you with your kid brother?"
"Exactly."
"No, I haven't cheated on you with your kid brother."
"You swear?"
"Yes, I swear."
"Well…good luck," he finally says, before leaving.
I suddenly have this urge to hunt down Trish and kick her ass.
Actually, that sounds pretty damn good…and just what I need.
I'm about to actualize my visualization of Trish's head shoved in a toilet bowl as I flushed over and over again. Hell, I could probably get Jackie to help hold her down.
I'm on the prowl.
Hunting down Trish is kinda like a hobby around here. Hell, Steph used to do it when Vince was fucking Trish. Chyna did it way back when, right before she won back her IC title. Jazz has been doing it as of late, so I've heard. We should form a club, like the Girl Scouts, only we could call ourselves the Bitches United Against Trish Stratus. BUATS. I LIKE it!
"Anyone seen Trish?" I ask out loud.
I'm met by blank stares. Either they're not talking or they haven't seen her. Oh boy.
She's in the room.
"Hi, Lita! You want to talk?"
"Yeah, about my boyfriend."
"Matt? Oh, yeah. Did you know he goes crazy when you rub the tip of his dick against that bump in the roof of your mouth? Really relaxes him."
I won't let her get to me. I won't, I won't, I won't.
"I think it helped him in that little match of his. Too bad his kid brother had to show off and cost them the match. Of course, you'd be the one here who knows about Jeff showing off, wouldn't you?"
She's just a ho, just a dirty, skanky, ho.
"How long HAVE you been banging him behind Matt's back?"
She's getting to me, isn't she?
"Huh, no answer? I figured. And yes, I did fuck your boyfriend. I did lay him good. And he screamed MY NAME, not yours. So, I guess we know who's giving it to him the way he likes it, don't we?"
I can't take it anymore. I don't resort to name-calling; I don't sink so low as to hit her. I just turn and walk away, trying to hide the tears in my eyes.
Out of habit I go straight to his dressing room.
"What the hell…oh, kid…" he ushers me in and sits me down. "What the hell is going?"
"Matt…slept with Trish. Twice."
"Yeah, so has every other guy in this federation. Look, are you going to come in here and cry to me about your boyfriend cheating on you, when you haven't exactly been Miss Chastity."
"It's different. He slept with HER! After everything I've been through with her…he probably even cost me the title that night just so she could hang onto it and he could get a quick bang out of it!"
"Lita, you're hysterical."
"I'm pissed off!"
"Over him sleeping with her? Come on, like I said, it's not that big a deal."
"Well, he's going to go in there and accuse me of cheating on him with Jeff…"
He cuts me off. "He said what?"
"Something about our outfits. I don't know."
"He thinks you're cheating on him with Jeff?"
"Yeah."
I get a laugh at least. Then, he's serious. "You haven't been sleeping with Jeff…have you?"
"Of course not! That'd be like sleeping with my kid brother!"
"Well, you never know. Some of the stuff you read on the internet…"
"Oh, that fanfiction stuff?"
"Yeah…though they've been dead on with that whole Steph/Jericho thing."
"Yeah, that shocked me." I suddenly laugh. "Hey, at least nobody's really considered the two of us together."
Hunter laughs at that too. "Very true, kid, very true. But that's just because we don't flaunt it."
"Game's over Lita."
He says that and I gasp. "Matt, what are you talking about?"
I'm in my dressing room, not even ready to go out there. And now here he is, getting all pissy with me."
"You know what I'm talking about. Don't play stupid with me. I know what's going on."
I stop cutting my shirt and finally face him. "And just what is going on, Matthew?"
"Simple. I finally put it all together, and you know what did it? One of Jeff's mesh shirts."
I must have had a funny look in my eye, and he must have thought I was playing dumb. "And then I thought about your thongs showing. I put two and two together, you weren't trying to make some trademark for yourself, you were in pants that were too big for you."
"And this has what to do with you burst in on me?"
"Well, I just had an epiphany."
"Did you hurt yourself?"
"Funny. I thought, hmmm…Jeff's shirts look an awful lot like something you'd wear, and your pants are too big…maybe, just maybe…you two were wearing each other's clothes?"
"There's a law against that now? Is this going somewhere?"
"Yes, in fact, this is going somewhere I wish it wasn't going. Lita…why would your clothing get switched like that? Well, maybe, just maybe, it was because you two were sleeping together behind my back."
I nearly choke to keep from laughing.
"You think because of that…that I'm cheating on you with Jeff?"
"Yes. That's what I think. You two fluked, he ended up in one of your shirt, you ended up in a pair of his pants, and you tried to cover up with it being your new look."
Once more I'm trying not to laugh. "Matt…you couldn't be more wrong!"
"Oh, really? Lita, come on, let's be serious here. I mean, we've hit a rough point in our relationship, and if you can tell me you've never considered cheating on me…"
That was when I stopped laughing. "Like you've considered cheating on me?"
"That's beside the point!"
Oh…now we get down to the point.
"So, let me get this straight, you're going to come in here and accuse me of cheating based on that evidence, when I have more evidence against you and yet I haven't said word one to you…"
"What evidence?" he yells at me.
Ooohhh, so he wants to go there. "Well, let's see…there was when Torrie kissed you on national television. And then, let's not forget that Trish came out of YOUR dressing room at Survivor Series!"
"And you're going to hold that against me?"
"Well, I wasn't! But now, since you're going to be an asshole about my wardrobe, I am! You're going to come in here and ask if I cheated on you and expect me not to be pissed off at you?"
"Okay, you want to hear it? Fine! I slept with Trish Stratus! Twice! And she gave me a blowjob before Survivor Series!"
I freeze up. "You…you slept with her? And you let her suck your dick right before I had to be in the ring with her?"
"Well, you've been fucking my kid brother!"
"You don't know that!"
"Well, have you?"
"Let me get this straight. You want to know if I ever cheated on you with your kid brother?"
"Exactly."
"No, I haven't cheated on you with your kid brother."
"You swear?"
"Yes, I swear."
"Well…good luck," he finally says, before leaving.
I suddenly have this urge to hunt down Trish and kick her ass.
Actually, that sounds pretty damn good…and just what I need.
I'm about to actualize my visualization of Trish's head shoved in a toilet bowl as I flushed over and over again. Hell, I could probably get Jackie to help hold her down.
I'm on the prowl.
Hunting down Trish is kinda like a hobby around here. Hell, Steph used to do it when Vince was fucking Trish. Chyna did it way back when, right before she won back her IC title. Jazz has been doing it as of late, so I've heard. We should form a club, like the Girl Scouts, only we could call ourselves the Bitches United Against Trish Stratus. BUATS. I LIKE it!
"Anyone seen Trish?" I ask out loud.
I'm met by blank stares. Either they're not talking or they haven't seen her. Oh boy.
She's in the room.
"Hi, Lita! You want to talk?"
"Yeah, about my boyfriend."
"Matt? Oh, yeah. Did you know he goes crazy when you rub the tip of his dick against that bump in the roof of your mouth? Really relaxes him."
I won't let her get to me. I won't, I won't, I won't.
"I think it helped him in that little match of his. Too bad his kid brother had to show off and cost them the match. Of course, you'd be the one here who knows about Jeff showing off, wouldn't you?"
She's just a ho, just a dirty, skanky, ho.
"How long HAVE you been banging him behind Matt's back?"
She's getting to me, isn't she?
"Huh, no answer? I figured. And yes, I did fuck your boyfriend. I did lay him good. And he screamed MY NAME, not yours. So, I guess we know who's giving it to him the way he likes it, don't we?"
I can't take it anymore. I don't resort to name-calling; I don't sink so low as to hit her. I just turn and walk away, trying to hide the tears in my eyes.
Out of habit I go straight to his dressing room.
"What the hell…oh, kid…" he ushers me in and sits me down. "What the hell is going?"
"Matt…slept with Trish. Twice."
"Yeah, so has every other guy in this federation. Look, are you going to come in here and cry to me about your boyfriend cheating on you, when you haven't exactly been Miss Chastity."
"It's different. He slept with HER! After everything I've been through with her…he probably even cost me the title that night just so she could hang onto it and he could get a quick bang out of it!"
"Lita, you're hysterical."
"I'm pissed off!"
"Over him sleeping with her? Come on, like I said, it's not that big a deal."
"Well, he's going to go in there and accuse me of cheating on him with Jeff…"
He cuts me off. "He said what?"
"Something about our outfits. I don't know."
"He thinks you're cheating on him with Jeff?"
"Yeah."
I get a laugh at least. Then, he's serious. "You haven't been sleeping with Jeff…have you?"
"Of course not! That'd be like sleeping with my kid brother!"
"Well, you never know. Some of the stuff you read on the internet…"
"Oh, that fanfiction stuff?"
"Yeah…though they've been dead on with that whole Steph/Jericho thing."
"Yeah, that shocked me." I suddenly laugh. "Hey, at least nobody's really considered the two of us together."
Hunter laughs at that too. "Very true, kid, very true. But that's just because we don't flaunt it."