Dance
A Suzumiya Haruhi fanfiction by Flower of Paper
Summary: No one dances with Haruhi.
Disclaimer: The Suzumiya Haruhi series belongs to Tanigawa Nagaru.
Given Haruhi's natural talents, it's not surprising that Haruhi knows at least the basics of ballroom dancing, especially the Viennese waltz. Or at least, it's based on the waltz. She saw it done in a few old movies, taught herself the basic moves, and threw in a few more things that appealed to her.
And given Haruhi's natural tendencies, it's also not surprising that given this ability, she'd want to find somebody to dance with. Or at least, to spend her days searching for somebody, anybody, who will dance with her. Because she hasn't danced with anybody in almost four years (and counting) it would count as something interesting and extraordinary in her eyes.
Ideally, she wanted to practice on Mikuru before attempting to dance with her main interest, but she quickly discarded that option due to Mikuru's clumsiness. Though such absent-mindedness was normally quite loli and kawaii, it wouldn't do for actually trying to become good at something.
The next likely candidates were Yuki and Itsuki. Haruhi wondered just what Yuki did when she wasn't at school or with Haruhi. Surely books couldn't be her entire life? But Haruhi views Yuki as a super-intelligent marionette, and you can't dance with a doll.
Then there was Itsuki, who would probably be happy to dance with Haruhi, but she won't dance with just any guy. She's not that kind of girl.
There is, of course, one other option, and that is to all-but-force herself on Kyon, abandoning all pretense of caution and restraint. But Haruhi is not stupid, and she can easily see how Kyon reacts to her touch. She doesn't know whether it's due to teenage male embarrassment or...or whether she actually disgusts him. Could it be...? Such a possibility...no, no, it can't end that way! She won't allow such a thing!
And that is why Haruhi cannot dance with Kyon. Not now.
After all this time she's finally opened her eyes to the fact that he's the one she wants, but how long will she have to wait before he realizes it too? Idiot.
And that is why Haruhi cannot dance with Kyon. Not now.
Of course, Haruhi is not content to sit idly, never has been and never will be. Many nights she fights the feeling of loneliness, in the small hours of the night, waltzing with an imaginary partner. Each night—she tells herself—hones her dancing skills more and more. Each night—she tells herself—brings closer the night when the static unmoving air in front of her will be filled with their sweet dynamic embrace.
Kyon, the one who is closest to Haruhi's heart, will not dance with her. And if he will not, then who will? Will anybody dance with her? She isn't loathsome or completely undesirable...is she? It's a depressing thought, but she can't shake that nagging little fear in the back of her mind, that maybe there's nobody for her, that maybe she really is all alone in this world. She squashes the thought, but it just keeps coming back.
Which provides even more of a reason to continue the search for the extraordinary. Dancing with Haruhi...that would be an interesting and extraordinary event, indeed.
And so, midnights when she's the only one still awake, she waltzes alone, her slim fingers intertwined with nobody's fingers, her arm wrapped snugly around nobody's waist, and she somehow fools herself into believing that the unfeeling air of her imaginary dance partner is going to keep her warm at night.