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Chapter 1: The Way He Looks At Me

The way his big, hazel eyes pierce into my soul makes my heart sink deep down into my chest. They make me feel like I am the only one in the room, the only one that matters to him. They make me feel safe, and secure about myself. I guess when he looks at me, I feel beautiful. They make me feel loved, happy even.

When he looks at me, it's like the whole world stops, and no one else is there except for us. He looks at me like he's ready to take a bullet for me at any minute, like he would risk his own life just to save mine. His eyes tell me everything that his heart says but his mouth won't let him.

*Flashback*

Tony pulled me in close as the lights dimmed and the music slowed down. His eyes glistened in the light as we swayed to the soft sound of the music. He watched me with such care and compassion, and I did the same. In that moment I remembered what my father had told me many years ago, "One day you will dance with a man who deserves your love." I wanted to tell him something that was long over due, but in that moment, we were too busy talking with our eyes.

*End of Flashback*

When he looks at me I barely remember everything that I have been through. Except Somalia. Because I share important memories with him there. After all, he was the one who saved me, and believed that I was alive when no one else did, or when no one else would.

And how could I forgot what he told me, "Couldn't live without you I guess." Believe me, it meant a lot to me when he said it, but I was too broken to believe that he actually meant it, so I just brushed it off. I believe that I am still broken now, and I got the scars to prove it. But when I'm with him, he makes all of those bad memories go away, just like that. It's like it never even happened. Although when I look at my arms, or my back, or anything really, I realize that what I am feeling in that moment with him is just a dream, or a happy little fairy tale that I want to happen. Except I feel safe with Tony. If I lost him I would not know what to do.

If I did not have Tony in my life, I would be completely lost. I would feel like Alice felt in the movie "Alice in Wonderland." Wow, his movie references are really rubbing off on me.

He makes me feel things that no one else could ever make me feel. He makes me feel safe, special. He makes me feel that I belong, that I matter.

Without Tony, well I would not have anyone to bicker with. I would not have someone to mess around with Mcgee with. I would not have the one person that mattered the most to me, the one who makes me feel unique. The one who makes me feel like a ninja, or a crazy Israeli chick, no matter how much I hate to be called that.

I would not have my best friend, or my partner. No scratch that. I would not have the best partner in the world at my side or at my six.

Without Tony, I would be alone, I would not know what to do.

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