"Oi, Strawberry, so what d'ya do again?" Renji demanded, grabbing Ichigo's shoulder so he could turn the teen around. "I already told ya, dumbass. Ya give the candy and the cards to Rukia an' you tell her ya love her. Simple as that, except…wait…you do love her, right?"
"Of course, idiot!" Renji snapped back, still staring suspiciously at the crimson roses and large box of candy lying on the table. "You think Rukia'll like this?" He asked dubiously, scratching his head.
"'Course she will. All girls like this junk." Ichigo said brusquely as he wrote down the answers to a problem on his homework.
"Ya know…I think she'll like a Chappy the Bunny card better. Whaddaya think, Ichi?" Ichigo groaned. It seemed Renji was incapable of closing his mouth when he got in that talking mood. "First of all," he growled, "you don't call me 'Ichi'. Second of all-"
"Aw! But it's fun seeing yer reaction to it!" Renji whined.
"SECOND of all," Ichigo said in a louder voice to get over Renji's, "I don't care what card you get her, I don't care what flowers or gift you give her. Just give her something for Valentine's Day. She learned about the tradition while here and if you don't give her something, she will go nuts."
Ichigo and Renji both shuddered at the memory of the last time they had set off Rukia. It was a week ago, with Ichigo making his usual crack about how horrible her drawing were, but this time, Renji actually laughed at Ichigo's comment. Bad mistake. Fueled by her ego, Rukia had given Renji a black eye and kneed Ichigo's family jewels in her rage. Not something they wanted to repeat. Ever again.
"But it seems so pointless, all this romantic crap." Renji whined again, now picking up the box of chocolates gingerly, as if it could bite him at any moment.
"Hey, don't ask me…girl's live off this stuff. Their favorite holiday, even Tatsuki says so."
"Crap, her too!? I didn't know she was into this, too!"
"Sad, isn't it?"
"I thought she'd be into Boxing Day or something!"
"Renji, Boxing Day has nothing to do with boxing-"
"The hell they call it that then?" Renji asked, plainly bewildered.
"It's the day after Christmas, it's celebrated-""But isn't that New Year's Day?"
"Will you fucking listen to me ya dumbass!" Ichigo bellowed at Renji, pointing at him.
"Okay, so Boxing Day is celebrated in Canada, Wales, Britain, and other countries the day after Christmas because it's the day you have to give workers their presents or something like that. And dumbass, New Years Day is on the first day of January. Christmas is on December 25." Ichigo rolled his eyes at Renji. "someone wasn't paying attention at school." He muttered.
"Hey! I pay attention alright! I listen, I take notes, I pass test-"
"Just barely…"
"Well look who's interrupting here, huh?"
"I interrupt with good reason idiot! You just because your big mouth tells you to!"
"Watch it! My mouth is perfectly fine the way it is!" Renji retorted.
"Oh? What about those hideous tattoos of yours!"
"Your just jealous! Rukia loves them!"
"Cause she's your girlfriend! What else is she supposed to say? That they suck ass and are the ugliest thing other than your face?" Ichigo shot back, angrily.
"Both of you idiots, shut up! You're giving me a headache!" Rukia bellowed, her presence causing both boys to flinch.
"Er, Rukia! How'd you get here! I didn't even sense you!" Ichigo yelled.
"That's cause you suck at reiatsu detection." Rukia deadpanned at Ichigo.
"Oh, Rukia! Um, I brought you some flowers. And chocolate. And a card. Oh, and uh, Happy Valentine's Day. At least that's how I think it's supposed to be pronounced. Am I right, strawberry?" Ichigo groaned and muttered a 'yes'.
Rukia saw stars. Of happiness of course. Squealing rabidly, she snatched up the roses, card and candy, yelling out thanks to Renji. Setting down the objects, she threw her arms around Renji in joy, kissing him fervently. Ichigo watched this display with a raised eyebrow, feeling awkward. As if he was invading on something private. So he left. But just as he reached the door, he heard Renji call out, "Hey! Ichigo! Where ya goin'? You ain't just gonna leave us are ya? Besides, I wanna know who your valentine's day person is." Ichigo sighed. Typical of Renji to ask totally personal questions, in front of people who would tell the whole Soul Society that information.
"Baka, that's personal. Do you not understand that word?"
"No apparently." Rukia muttered, rolling her eyes at her boyfriend.
"But if you're really desperate to know, yes I do. And lucky for me, he doesn't care about fluffy, romantic crap."
"Wait! HE?! I never knew you swung that way! I always thought you and Orihime were dating!" Rukia yelled, while Renji had a shocked expression on his face, his jaw slightly slack. Ichigo only shrugged and replied, "I though Orihime was going out with Uryu."
Rukia snorted, before dragging Renji off. Apparently to do some shopping. Which Renji had a severe allergic reaction to. Ichigo felt like laughing, but only after Renji had left the house. God knows what that tattooed freak could do with Zabimaru when he was really pissed.
"Oi, Berry-head." Ichigo turned around and grinned upon seeing the teal-haired Arrancar. Grimmjow was standing there, hands jammed deep into his pockets and a smirk playing on his features. "I heard from that girl there was Valentine's Day? What's that about, huh?" Ichigo grinned, and drew the Arrancar closer, resting a hand lightly on his hip. He whispered huskily into his ear, "Well, it's like this…"