Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Supernatural. I'm just having a little fun with the characters.
TALL TAILS
By: Vanessa Sgroi
Once upon a time during a hunt…
There was a witch.
There was a big flash of light. A crack of thunder.
And then…well…and then this happened.
**SPN**SPN**
"Uh oh. Oh, no. No, no, no."
"What?"
"Nonononono. This can't be."
"Sam, stop squeaking so much and tell me what's wrong."
"Dean, you're a cat."
"What—you mean like a tomcat? Way to be insulting, little brother. So I like—really like—women…"
"No, no. I mean, you're a CAT. You know, with fur and a tail."
"Yeah, right…errr…uh…holy shit! You're right!"
"And I'm…I'm apparently a…a mouse."
Dean's black fur-covered head swiveled and golden eyes took in Sam's new form. His pointed ears flicked back and forth. He snickered. "Yep, you're a mouse all right. Beady little eyes, twitchy little nose. Not much different if you ask me."
"Oh, hardy har har, Captain Comedy. What are we going to do?"
"Do? I dunno—wait it out, I guess."
"Wait it out?! What if it's permanent?"
"Well, none of the skank's spells have been permanent so far, right?"
"No. But, Dean, if she knows we're hunters…"
"Isn't much we can do about it now, Sammy. If she's permanently whammied us, we'll have to get used to living as Tom and Jerry."
"You do know they're cartoons, right?"
"You know what I mean. Besides I really think this is temporary."
Sam sighed. "Even if it IS temporary, this isn't going to go well, you know. I mean, cats and mice—they really don't get along. They're like mortal enemies."
"Mortal enemies can get along. Look at Snoopy and Woodstock."
"Again—cartoons, Dean! Besides which Snoopy was a dog and Woodstock, a bird. Not the same thing."
Dean arched his back in a good stretch. "Same principle." He lifted a paw, licked it, and rubbed it gently against his face. He repeated this gesture again and again, a soft purr erupting from his throat.
"Dean! Will you quit giving yourself a bath and listen?" Sam scurried to and fro then stood on his hind legs, whiskers twitching.
"Listen to what, Sammy? This is what it is. All we need to do is relax."
"I AM relaxed!"
"Really? 'Cause you look a little frazzled to me."
"Quit looking at me like that!"
"Like what?"
"Like you want to eat me!"
Dean swished his tail back and forth. "I don't want to eat you, Sam."
Sam-mouse spluttered under a pink-tongued assault. "Then why did you just lick me?"
"I was grooming you."
"Cats don't groom mice, Dean. Cats EAT mice!"
"Sammy, you're sounding a little paranoid."
"Dean!" Sam squeaked, suddenly finding himself swinging by his tail from Cat-Dean's mouth. "Dean, put…put me down!"
"What—I was just…moving you across the room."
"Sure you were."
Dean's pink feline tongue darted out and he licked his chops. "You know, I really could go for some mouse—I mean, milk!—milk right now."
"Yeah, well, I wouldn't be averse to a bit of cheese either. But I guess we're both out of luck."
Dean sighed and padded around the room. "Yeah, I guess we are. You know what—I think I'm going to take a nap—I think right here in this spot of sun." He turned in a circle a few times before curling into a ball. "Mmm—yeah."
"I'll join you…but no more tasting…"
"You mean grooming…"
"Yeah, right—no more grooming…"
And while they slept, there came another flash of light accompanied by a crack of thunder.
Coming awake with a start, Dean huffed and sputtered, groaning under the weight smothering him. "Get off-a me, ya big moose!"
Sam snuffled in his sleep, smacked his lips, and mumbled. "Mouse. You mean, mouse."
Dean pushed hard against his brother's shoulders and squirmed out from underneath Sam, eventually decanting him to the floor with a thud. "No, I mean MOOSE. As in gigantic pain-in-the-ass MOOSE. We're back to normal, Sasquatch."
Sam scrambled to his feet. "What? We're back?" His gaze traveled down over the length of his body. A wide grin broke over his face. "Dean, we're BACK!"
"Told you it was only temporary!" He was surprised to see his brother heading quickly out of the room. "Hey, where're you going?"
"I'm hungry. I have a craving for some cheese and crackers."
Dean started after his brother. "You know, now that I think about it, I could go for a nice big glass of milk."
FIN
