Feel Better Now
Summary: Mickey jerked awake. It had all been a bad dream. The worst part was that the dream had actually happened. But that was a long time ago. Ian/Mickey gay slash drabble; optimistic future!fic
Disclaimer: I don't own Shameless. I feel like most of my problems would be solved if I did, but oh well.
Everyone is so pessimistic lately about Ian and Mickey. I just wanted to write something about their future that's kind of optimistic and cute to give myself hope. This is still full of sad though honestly.
"You love me," Ian said as he struggled to breathe, "and you're gay."
Mickey turned to face him, sadness and anger in his eyes.
He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to think about it.
"Just admit it," Ian begged, as he pushed himself back up to his feet. "Just this once. Fucking admit it."
Mickey swung at him again. The blow to Ian's face sent him toppling over.
Mickey could barely look as Ian was in pain and gasping for breath on the ground. He turned away. He wiped at his eyes, willing the tears not to come.
He couldn't cry. He wouldn't. Not now. He couldn't let his resolve weaken now.
"You feel better now?" Ian asked bitterly, beginning to push himself back up again. "You feel like a man?"
Mickey couldn't take it anymore.
He kicked Ian in the face, hard. Blood flew from Ian's nose and the redhead groaned in agony.
Mickey turned around, taking another long swig of alcohol before tossing the bottle. "Feel better now," he said, walking away.
He'd never told a bigger lie.
Mickey shouted, jerking awake. His body was covered in sweat. He looked around frantically, panic in his eyes.
Memories of his dream flooded his mind. He felt like vomiting.
The worst part was that the dream had actually happened. But that was a long time ago.
The boy sleeping next to him jolted awake too at the noise. The red-haired boy groaned in sleepy annoyance.
"Fuck, Mickey. Are you okay?" he asked. His eyes widened in concern when he saw the terrified look on Mickey's face. "Hey…" he said softly. "What's wrong?"
"It was… I mean… I did…" Mickey could barely get the words out.
"Hey," Ian murmured comfortingly, stroking Mickey's cheek, "it's okay."
Mickey nodded. He knew he could trust Ian with anything. They'd been through a lot of shit together ever since they were teenagers, but for the past few years things between them have been good. Really good.
They were finally a real couple. They loved each other. And now that Mickey had finally admitted it, he felt like an immense weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.
Ian knew everything about him. By now Ian had seen him cry several times already. But he'd never seen him cry over this.
Mickey had been holding in this guilt for years, and he finally just let the tears fall.
"I'm sorry," Mickey sobbed, "about that day…"
"What day, Mickey?" Ian asked softly.
"The day I beat the shit out of you… I had a dream about it."
Ian's jaw clenched at the memory. He wrapped his arm around Mickey, pulling him in closer. "It's okay. That happened a long time ago… I forgive you. You know that."
"It was a really shitty thing to do," Mickey admitted. "Honestly, I don't know why you put up with me."
"Everything that happened back then… it was your dad's fault, not yours," Ian explained.
"Bullshit," Mickey spat, struggling out of Ian's arms and sitting up in bed. "My dad didn't fucking make me do that. It was my own goddamn fault." He chewed on his lip nervously.
Ian sat up too, shaking his head. "You did it to protect yourself. And to protect me."
"That's no excuse," Mickey said bitterly. "I'll never forgive myself for what I did. I do that shit to people all the time, but… not you. I shouldn't have done that to you." Ian looked at Mickey sadly, reaching out to give Mickey's hand a comforting squeeze.
"You're with me now, though," he whispered. "I've never been happier with anyone more than I am with you."
Mickey snorted sarcastically. "Never been sadder with anyone either I bet." Ian shook his head.
"It was worth it," he said. "These past couple years have been the best of my life." He leaned in and kissed Mickey. Mickey kissed him back, desperately trying to convey all of his feelings into the kiss.
Ian pulled back and smiled. Mickey seemed to have finally calmed down.
Mickey pushed Ian back down on the bed before crawling over him and pressing another kiss to his mouth.
"I love you," Ian said with a smile as Mickey's lips brushed lightly over his. Mickey pulled back, looking him in the eyes.
"I love you too," he whispered. And he meant it. He let the depth of those words wash over them both.
"And…?" Ian teased, a smirk playing at his lips.
"And I'm gay," Mickey said with a roll of his eyes. He lay back down next to Ian, his head on the taller man's chest.
Ian laughed. "I knew it!"
"Shut up, firecrotch," Mickey mumbled, failing to suppress his own smile. Ian stroked Mickey's hair and pressed a kiss to his head.
"Alright, alright," Ian said with a sleepy smile. "Now go back to sleep. We both have work in the morning." Mickey grunted but nodded in agreement, nuzzling his head into Ian's shoulder as he yawned and fell back asleep.
It had all been a bad nightmare. They had each other now, and that's all that mattered.