Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Diet Coke
Diet Coke is Gay
"Xemnas, what would you do if I said that Diet Coke was gay?"
Demyx had waited a long time to ask this question and according to Demyx's twisted logic, this was a perfectly legitimate question. Diet Coke was everywhere in the castle: on tables and chairs, beneath beds, and in the bottom of everyone's closet. Demyx even opened the microwave one day to find that it was full of Diet Coke cans. He tried asking the more senior members why the only thing to drink (besides water, which Demyx loved) was diet coke, but they all gave him the same answer: It's always been that way.
He could have asked The Superior why he liked Diet Coke, or if they could maybe get some Pepsi next time someone went to the store, but Demyx wanted to mess with him.
"Well, I would turn you into a Dusk and banish you from the castle, "said Xemnas calmly, sitting at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper and drinking-you guessed it-Diet Coke.
Demyx had expected something like: "Get the hell outta my kitchen!" or "I would kick your ass so hard, even Vexen couldn't help you.", but this was much scarier.
"But Axel goes around killing other members and betraying the organization and he hasn't been turned into a Dusk!"
Xemnas put down the newspaper and looked Demyx straight in the eyes. "But Axel likes Diet Coke."
"But…..but," stuttered Demyx reeling for a response.
Then Xemnas got angry. "Number Nine, I will not have you making homophobic comments on my beverage of choice in my own castle!" he said, getting up from his chair and slamming his fist on the table. Xemnas was now panting and sweaty."Now, do you have something to say?"
"You rent this place!"
"That may be true, but I was referring to your earlier comment concerning Diet Coke."
"oh no, I love Diet Coke."