Ginyu Force Tryouts
A/N: What if Frieza did get his wish and Ginyu survived with just Jeice? The other members of the Ginyu force all dead… they need new recruits, which of course means…
POSES! Let's see what it would be like for Ginyu and Jeice as they search for people who are stupid enough to act like the former members!
"All right gentlemen, be warned that there are ONLY three openings ! You must have certain requirements to be a Ginyu! A Ginyu must be trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent and a KILLING MACHINE!"
He paused, and took on a serious expression. "A Ginyu must have STYLE!" He declared, and performed a ridiculous pose that only Jeice was amazed by.
"You go Captn'!" He cheerlead.
"Style is important! I want proof you guys have style! Split into groups of four, you'll perform poses with Jeice in the middle! On the double!"
Ginyu watched for several minutes as group after group got their turn, great to Ginyu's displeasure, no one looked like they could match what they had before the Namek debacle. That is, until Ginyu saw a pose that angered him greatly.
"Hey you! NO TEBOWING! You're disqualified, here's your 'Going away present'!" Ginyu yelled, firing an energy ball that completely obliterated him.
The process continued for awhile… until yet another group got on Ginyu's bad side. This time, Jeice performed one of his usual, "flawless" poses. However, the other four all had it wrong…
One of them, performed one of the worst poses seen by man… It was uglier than Shawn Marion's jump-shot. The second man called himself "captain", which was supposed to be Jeice's role. The third man honestly, was just too ugly to be a member of the Ginyu force. He weighed in at about 340 lbs, and appeared to be some form of a bird/man hybrid with antlers. The fourth… was the worst one; he never stopped moving… these are poses not Dancing with the Stars.
Ginyu slowly walked up to them, and Jeice stepped aside knowing how fucked they all were.
"You will never disgrace the Ginyu Force with one of those poses again!" He declared, punching through the first one's skull. The second and third attempted to run, assuming they were next. All was futile though as Ginyu vanished and smacked them so hard they flew through the ceiling and up through four floors.
The fourth was too scared to move. It was like a deer and headlights moment. "Why the hell did you keep moving? We're NOT dancers! What was that ridiculous dance anyhow?"
"S-Salsa…"
"It was terrible. I don't even know why I'm allowing you to live. You truly are the definition of pathetic." A tear dropped from his eye, and he started to sob.
Oh what the hell! Isn't he a man? "Are you CRYING!? There's no CRYING in the Ginyu Force!" Ginyu yelled, punching a whole through the 'man's' stomach.
"Next group…"
Eventually, there was only one group left. "All right… this better be good damn it."
Jeice did the perfect pose by Ginyu's standards… as usual. The other four appeared to have practiced together before because…
When they started, they turned some music on and did a simultaneous dance. It was three things, random, meaningless, and awful.
For one thing… the guy on the far right put a unicorn outfit on. Yes, a unicorn outfit. The other three looked equally stupid with their "wacky" outfits rather than PTO uniforms.
"What the hell was that?" Ginyu didn't even have to say it… Jeice beat him to it.
"The Harlem shake! You guys live under a rock or what?"
No rocks… just under the foot of a psychotic lizard.
"Wait, what?"
"Did I say that aloud?"
"Y-…" He paused to see the glare from Ginyu. "..no.."
"Good." Ginyu said acting relieved.
"As for you bumbs… take your harry shake someplace else!"
"Uh.. Actually it's the Harlem-"
"Whatever, I don't care… you have five seconds before I decide to blast you all! Starting with Unicorn boy!" Ginyu warned.
"But-"
"5!"
"Captain-"
"4!"
"Ah fuck!" Was the last thing any of them said as they scrambled out the door.
Silence filled the room as only Ginyu and Jeice remained. "What now?" Jeice asked.
"We get high."
"All right! I think Recoome still had some brownies left before he died!" Jeice exclaimed.
"Good… nice and stylish."
A/N: Well there you have it lol… R n' R!