"I'm constantly Hungry, but never eat.
I'm constantly tired, but never sleep.
I'm constantly sad, but never cry.
I'm constantly waiting, but never die"
Tears fell on to the page as I was writing this. I moved my pen down the blank paper and started to write again:
Depression, everyone has this vague idea of what it is but until you experience it you'll never really know. Depression is like falling into a dark hole, you are frantically trying to grab the edge to pull yourself up but the more you try the deeper you sink.
Phil didn't know I had depression, no one knew. Everytime I looked into his large, bright blue eyes or saw his black, wind swept hair a smile would stretch across my face. Not because I was happy I did it automatically because I didn't want to hurt Phil. People ask me now "Dan how could you have lived with Phil for so long without him realising that you were depressed?" well that's your answer, a smile. A smile can hide everything: sadness, anger and yes even depression.
But I suppose I should tell you the whole story, it'll be nice to get it off my chest. I think you should know I was "cutting", although I never liked that term. It was more like an escape for me, better for me it's not like "hurting myself". I was hurting myself physically yes but mentally I was being cleaned.
A/N : Hi!, this is my first fanfic ever :) i love writing but yes ik i'm not every good at it. My puncution, grammar and spelling need to improve but I'm working on it! I just like to say this is a "Phan" but it is not based on Dan and Phils lifes I basically just wrote a story and stuck there names in :3 I wrote the all of this including the poem at the start please don't take it, it means so much to me. Please review thanks guys! x