Poster's Note: Not mine! Posted for a friend!
 
Author's Note: O_o Yes, I'm psycho. I'm not even what this was about. It just demanded to be
written. Must lay off the late night soba.
 
 

Pain. Overwhelming pain.

Back away, folks! Let us through!

Blonde hair stirring in the wind.

We got four of them here!

Red hair spilling down.

Check the driver!

Red and blue lights.

This one's got fatal windshield disease.

Youji opened his eyes, blinking at the dim light filtering through the Venetian curtains that covered his window. He groaned and turned over, burying his face in his pillow.

"Fuckin' dreams."

He groped for the pack of cigarettes he always left by the nightstand, and turned back over, lighting one, and sucking in his first lungful of nicotine for the day. The digital clock read 6:40 am. Any time now Omi would knock on his door and tell him to get up for work. He debated over whether or not to surprise the boy, then said to hell with it.

The knock came five minutes later.

"Youji-kun! Are you going to join us anytime soon?"

"I'm up!" Youji called toward the door.

"Don't make Aya-kun mad!"

"Yeah, yeah."

-------------------

Routine. The morning ritual. Youji slowly got up and stumbled into the shower.

Aya gave Youji a bland look over his shoulder as the blonde came through the backdoor. Youji ignored him and went to put his apron on.

The shop wasn't open yet, so Youji didn't see a reason for Aya to be cross with him.

"Youji, can you open the shutter?" Ken asked, misting a display of roses. Youji shrugged and unlocked the sliding shutter, pushing it up to allow sunlight to stream in. He paused to see flowers outside. Several bouquets of flowers left sitting against the front of the shop.

"Hey." He turned to look at the others. "Did one of you leave flowers outside?"

"We haven't been outside yet, Youji-kun." Omi turned bright blue eyes on him from moving a potted palm.

Youji rubbed the back of his head and opened the door, picking up the bundles of flowers. They weren't from their shop. But the address cards were all labeled 'To Koneko no Sumu Ie.'

"The shop is getting flowers now, eh?" Youji put the bouquets down on the worktable in the center of the shop.

"Who are they from?" Ken asked in interest. Youji opened one of the small envelopes amid the flowers.

"My condolences. They will be missed. Saki." Youji frowned. "Saki. That's one of Omi's school friends, isn't it?"

Omi nodded. "Hai. She's in my class."

"What does this mean?" Youji held out the card to him. Omi read it and shrugged.

"I have no idea."

"This one is from Emiko." Ken frowned, reading another card. Omi opened another card.

"Miyata." He blinked. "How strange."

"Nevermind," Aya spoke up. "We've gotten flowers before."

The three nodded and shrugged, and Youji went to turn the sign on the door over to read 'Open'. He blinked to see the flowers back out in front of the shop. He turned to look at the bouquets on the table. The table was empty. He blinked and blinked again, shaking his head. The flowers were still back in front of the shop.

"Ken..." Youji slowly turned to look at his co-worker, "where are the flowers?"

Ken turned to look at the table again and stared. "I...I didn't move them."

Omi and Aya looked as well, and even Aya looked as startled as he'd allow himself to look.

"Where did they go?" Omi asked, running his hand over the table and kneeling to peek under the table. Youji hiked his thumb over his shoulder, pointing out the door, without a sound. Ken stepped out to look at the flowers.

"They're the same ones..." Ken looked up at Youji, "how did they...."

Youji side-glanced at him, then stepped back inside the shop. "If they want to be out there, then I'm leaving them there."

Ken stood up and stepped back from the flowers, watching them as he walked back into the shop.

-------------------

Soon enough, the shop was like normal. The shop was full of girls, and the four florists were busily filling orders. About seven thirty, Momoe came in and took her customary chair, with her cat in her lap.

"Good morning, Momoe-san!" Omi called to her, and she nodded to him, smiling.

"Omi." Youji grabbed the shoulder of the younger florist, "cover for me. I'm grabbing a smoke."

Omi sighed, but Youji gave him a grin and stepped out to catch his customary smoke on the side of the building. He lit his cigarette and leaned his head back, sighing and closing his eyes as he enjoyed polluting his lungs.

He opened his eyes again to come face to face with green eyes.

"Morgen."(1)

Youji tensed, then jabbed his cigarette straight into the smirking face, at the same time slamming his foot into an unsuspecting gut.

"Schieße!"

"You looking for a fight?" Youji hissed. The orange-haired German held the thumb-edge of his hand to his burnt cheek as he coughed from the kick.

"Do I look like I'm here to fight you?"

Youji blinked, then narrowed his eyes. "Then why are you here?"

The German grinned, straightening and bearing the pink burn on his cheek. "Why are you here?"

"I belong here," Youji grit out.

"Oh no you don't. You don't belong here."

Youji resisted the urge to punch in that smirking face. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Everything."

Youji had had enough. He swung, but his target had already hopped backwards away from him.

"Look, don't fight it. Just give it to me." Schuldig tucked his hands into his pockets. "Or I'll take it from you."

"Just try it." Youji pulled a length of wire from his watch.

"Ahh, the hard way, eh?" Schuldig grinned, tilting his head. "That's fine with me. I wouldn't want it any other way."

With that, Schuldig turned and vanished like dissolving mist, but his annoying, nasal laugh lingered a few moments longer. Youji stayed tense a few more moments, in case Schuldig was merely hiding and waiting for him to turn his back.

Something warm, running down.

He's alive! I need a backboard and C-Spine collar, stat!

Hands grabbing, touching.

Breathing's shallow and labored.

Being lifted, moved.

Left pupil's blown and unresponsive. Right, slow to react.

Light.

Blood pressure 90 over 50 and falling.

Youji blinked. What was that? Shrugging it off a one of Schuldig's mind tricks, he finally cut the wire he'd pulled loose, and headed back to the door of the shop. Momoe was outside, picking up the flowers left in front.

"Momoe, I think they like it there."

Momoe apparently didn't hear him, because she simply stepped back inside. Youji frowned. Momoe didn't usually ignore people, unlike Aya. He followed her back into the shop, and found the shop was silent. He looked around in surprise. Everyone had left. Momoe alone stood in the shop, placing the flowers on the table as he had done earlier.

"Momoe, where did everyone go?"

"So unfortunate," Momoe sighed, patting the flowers.

"Momoe?" Youji stepped up next to her, and Momoe shivered, rubbing her arms.

"Momoe, what's unfortunate?"

Momoe simply sat back down in her chair. Her cat hopped into her lap, looking up at Youji and purring.

"At least you're paying attention to me." Youji pat the cat on the head.

"It's cold in here." Momoe looked up at him.

Youji blinked back at her. "It doesn't feel like it to me."

"Must be my age catching up to me," Momoe sighed, lowering her gaze to her cat. Youji frowned.

"Momoe, where did the others go?"

Momoe just sighed again, patting the cat. Now Youji was really worried.

"Momoe!"

The cat looked up at him as if in annoyance, but the woman didn't. Frustrated, Youji went through the backdoor to see if the others had stepped down to the briefing room. Maybe Manx had stopped by.

The basement was empty. Youji rubbed the back of his neck, and stepped back upstairs. He looked up to hear a thumping above him. Ken's apartment. He hurried up the stairs to Ken's apartment.

"Hey! Ken! Why is no one in the shop?"

The door opened and Ken stood there, soccer ball in hand, and in his coaching uniform.

"I got practice, remember? I told you yesterday." He grinned and pushed past Youji to hurry down the stairs.

"Ken!" Youji looked after him to find Ken already gone.

"Am I in the Twilight Zone?" Youji muttered to himself. The sound of footsteps in Ken's apartment drew his gaze again. Someone was moving in the kitchen.

"Omi?" Youji called, figuring it couldn't be Aya. No one answered. Frowning, Youji stepped inside the apartment, ready to pull the wire from his watch.

He peeked around the corner to find himself looking into midnight blue eyes. He jumped back in startlement, leaving the stranger to watch him with a passive face.

"You!" Youji grabbed at his watch again. The boy standing in Ken's apartment smiled slightly.

"Still hanging around?" Nagi asked, bowing his head slightly, taking his eyes from Youji.

"What are you doing here?!" Youji demanded.

"I can ask you the same question." Blue eyes lifted to look at him again.

"What the hell do you mean?!" Youji snarled. "Get out!"

"After you." The small smile returned to the boy's lips.

Youji was at the end of his patience. He suddenly reconsidered Aya's mindless screaming during clashes with Schwarz and realized it was a great release. He briefly considered shrieking and wildly slashing at the boy, but quickly dismissed it. It wasn't his style.

Wire sailed from his fingers, intent on wrapping around the slender neck, but a small movement of the boy's hand stopped it. The wire dropped limply to the ground.

"You cannot hurt me." Nagi looked into his eyes. "And it would be less painful for you if you surrender."

"Make sense!" Youji threw another wire, only to have it fall to the floor again.

"This is futile. You are only delaying the inevitable."

"So what, you going to kill me in the end?"

"That is impossible." The light brown-haired head tilted.

"Oh?" Youji smirked. "Glad you see it my way."

"And soon you will see it mine." Nagi lifted a hand and Youji's eyes widened. Then he shut his eyes, waiting for the impact. There was no point in running. He couldn't get far enough.

Hey, squeeze my hand! If you can hear me, squeeze my hand.

Crimson stains on white sheets.

What's the story on that one?

A hand encased in a heavy, dark glove, dangling nearly to the pavement.

Primary assessment, too far gone.

Light, blinding. The mumbling hiss of radios.

Hang in there. Don't give up.

Youji opened his eyes, trying to blink away the images, and found himself alone in Ken's apartment. He turned quickly, trying to find where the boy had gone, but the apartment was still. He quickly backed out of the apartment. He closed the door and hurried to Omi's apartment.

"Omi! Open the door!" He slammed his fist on the door. There was no answer. Youji tried the doorknob and the door opened. The room was empty of its resident, and Youji hurried to Aya's apartment. That room was also empty.

He leaned against Aya's door, rubbing his scalp with his fingers entwined in his hair. Practice. That's where Ken had gone. He'd know where everyone else had gone. He hurried down the stairs and grabbed his car keys.

The park was empty. Youji narrowed his eyes, stepping out of the car. A single soccer ball sat on the field, flowers around it. Not wild or planted flowers, but store bought bouquets wrapped in clear plastic sheaths. He walked toward the soccer ball, his shadow falling across the cluster. There were small cards, written in crayon, laying amid the flowers.

Youji crossed his arms, looking down at the display. It was like a memorial. To Ken? Was that why nothing was going right today? Was he suffering some mental anguish and denial?

He headed for the diner, in need of smoke and caffeine to muddle this out.

-------------------

"Are you okay?"

Youji turned his head to look at the dark haired waitress. She looked worriedly at him. The waitress' hand fell onto his shoulder and he looked back to her.

"You seem a little out of it today." She smiled kindly. "Something wrong?"

"I'm...I'm not sure." Youji's gaze fell on the coffee cup in front of him. Across the table, sat the other cup of coffee. Asuka's cup of coffee. He always ordered two.

The waitress caught him looking at the other cup. "Thinking about your missing date?"

"Yeah," Youji took the simple explanation, "she's not going to show."

"What are you saying to the girls that they never show up for your coffee date?"

Youji closed his eyes and snorted to himself. "It's only one girl. And she's never going to show up."

He heard a click and looked up to see a man in a white suit press the barrel of a gun to the side of the waitress' head. She didn't seem the notice.

"No!" Youji reached for her arm to pull her away as the man pulled the trigger. Her body hit the floor, spraying him with blood and thicker things. He stared in horror as blood rolled down his face to collect in small rivulets, crimson tear tracks.

No one in the diner panicked. No one screamed. Life went on as normal. The man in the white suit holstered the pistol under his arm and sat down at the other side of the table. "This seat taken?"

Youji turned to look at the man, who had picked up Asuka's coffee cup and sipped from it.

"W-Why?" It was all Youji could manage as his throat tightened.

"You're stubborn."

"You...you killed her...because...I'm stubborn?"

"Of course."

Rage inflamed Youji as Crawford calmly sipped the coffee. Youji's fist flew towards the man's face, and light flashed across the man's glasses. Crawford's hand caught his fist, bending it backwards and Youji fell to his knees under the shocking pain.

"I'm not as patient as the others." Crawford stood up, still holding Youji's wrist. Then Crawford released him, and walked away.

Heart rate 110!

Movement, the sound of slamming doors.

Blood in the ears.

Shadows playing beyond the light.

Mochizuki! Can't this thing go any faster?

Amid the shadows, white wings glowed.

I think he's slightly coherent.

Startled by the flashing images and voices, Youji was left staring after the retreating back, on his knees. He turned his head to look back at the waitress, to find her body missing. He looked at the spot where her body had lain, and lifted his hand to his face. No blood came off on his fingers.

"I've lost my mind."

Youji looked to the table. No coffee cups sat there.

"I've gone insane."

A pair of legs walked past him, and instinctively, Youji's eyes traveled up them and beyond. The waitress walked past him with a lunch order.

She wasn't dead. She wasn't laying on the floor, blood pooling around her head. She was going about her usual business.

Youji ran out of the diner, hearing the door chime the announcement of his exit. He stood out on the sidewalk, watching the cars go by on the street.

"I've gone insane!" he yelled to the passersby, but no one acknowledged him. Youji burst out laughing. "I don't exist!"

He grabbed the nearest passerby. "You can't see me, can you?!"

The woman he had grabbed twitched and pulled out of his grasp. She quickly looked about herself, her eyes passing across him and away. Apparently not having seen him, she quickly walked away.

"I'm invisible!" Youji laughed, letting his legs give out and he sat down on the sidewalk. He finally stopped laughing and looked down at his hands, resting on the concrete between his legs.

"This is just a bad dream." He slapped his hand to his head. "Wake up, Kudou! Wake up! Wake up, dammit!"

"Youji-kun!"

He looked up to see Omi standing on the curb next to the delivery cart. Omi was looking at him in concern, hands on his hips.

"Where have you been? I step out for a delivery and you run off! With Ken-kun at practice that means you left Aya-kun all alone!"

"You see me?" Youji blinked at him.

"Of course! You're making a scene!"

Omi blinked as Youji attached himself to the boy.

"You see me! I exist! Get me out of this nightmare!"

"Youji-kun, let go of me!"

Youji grudgingly did so. Omi frowned at him.

"It's bad enough you do that to me in the mornings! Now, are you ready to join the rest of us?"

Someone hook up the EKG!

Lights, voices, shadows.

I'm going to inervate.

Touches, caresses, heat, and cold.

Blooding typing comes back AB negative!

The brilliant glow nearby.

Starting IV of D5W.

A soft voice calling.

Youji blinked in the darkness.

"Youji," Ken called him again, "are you going to join us?"

"Huh?" Youji looked to his teammates to find them in their basement briefing room. He, himself, was sprawled in the armchair.

"The mission." Ken frowned at him.

Aya snorted. "He slept through it."

"Mission?" Youji glanced to the side to see Manx standing there, folder in her hands.

"Well, since you slept through the briefing, I'll let the others fill you in. I'll assume you're in." She dropped the folder in his lap.

"Are there women involved?" Youji looked at the folder.

"Yes," Manx said before ascending the ladder. Youji watched her legs until they vanished from sight.

"Youji-kun, how could you fall asleep so fast?" Omi glanced at his watch. "It was only three minutes!"

Youji scrubbed his face with his hands. "I had a horrible dream."

"You dreamed?" Ken raised his eyebrows. "You musta crashed hard."

"It was a nightmare." Youji rubbed his hair and picked up the folder. "So what's the mission?"

Youji-kun, are you ready to join us?

A strangled cry from a throat.

Youji, we're waiting.

Hands grabbing wrists.

When are you going to join them, Youji?

A hand stroking hair as tears rolled down temples.

"Youji. Joining us any time soon?"

Youji blinked, looking up at Aya's flat tone. His teammates were in their assassin gear, dressed to kill. Youji looked down at himself and found he was in uniform also. When had he changed clothes?

He glanced around to find himself standing in front of a fenced off building. His teammates stood a few steps ahead. He quickly walked over to join them and the team moved out.

"What are we doing?" Youji whispered to Omi.

"You are really distracted today, aren't you?" Omi blinked at him. "Maybe you should wait for us."

Youji sighed. "I'm blanking out or something."

"Wait for us then, Youji-kun. Don't want to risk it during the mission."

Youji wanted to protest, but knew the boy was right. He couldn't even remember what the mission was. What was wrong with him?

"I'll wait by the car."

Omi nodded at him, and gave him a forgiving smile. "Maybe you should take a vacation after this, Youji-kun."

Youji nodded and slipped off back to the car. He adjusted the headset he felt on his head to listen to the mission. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, waiting by the car.

Like clockwork. Omi and Ken cleaved the way for Aya's katana to cleave justice. Then the clock broke. The cigarette dropped from Youji's lips to hear Ken screaming for Aya and the sound of gunfire. Youji darted for the gate to help his comrades. He heard Omi calling for Ken, and Ken's reassuring words repeating into his ear.

"Hang in there! Don't give up!"

Hang in there. Don't give up.

Youji blinked as the words pricked something in his mind, and he flung open the gate the others had entered the compound through. Gunfire rattled in the building, and a door burst open. Ken was supporting Aya, who was staggering, trying to stumble on his own power.

Youji rushed in to meet them, seeing Omi running back across the rooftop to join them. As Youji ran up, Ken thrust Aya into his arms.

"Get him to the car!" Ken yelled at him. "We'll buy you time! He's not light!"

"Go, Balinese!" Omi yelled through the headset. Youji immediately obeyed, dragging Aya for the gate.

"Good god, Aya, what have you been eating?" Youji grunted as Aya struggled to stay on his feet, fighting against Youji's attempts to steer him.

He listened to Ken and Omi call to each other over the headset as he drug an uncooperative Aya to the car and threw him into the back seat. He briefly thanked whichever Gods it was that smiled on him that they weren't using his car. Aya was free to bleed all over his own car all he wanted.

"Bombay! Siberian! Retreat!" he called over the headset as he kept stuffing Aya's legs back into the car, trying not to slam the door on the boots. Aya seemed to want to crawl back out of the car.

"Siberian!" Omi's shriek was full of worry.

"Go!" Ken ordered back.

"Shit," Youji hissed and dashed back.

Ken was on the ground, trying to pull himself back to his feet as Omi held the gunmen at bay with well-placed arrows. The gunmen were too distracted seeking cover to finish the soccer player off. Youji grabbed Ken's arm and jerked him to his feet. Ken crumpled again and Youji threw his arm around the sweater wrapped waist to hold him up.

Blood already colored Ken's lips as he coughed, trying to look up at Youji.

"Shush." Youji silenced him before he could say anything and ran as best he could for the car. "Bombay! Come on!"

"Hai!" Omi's response returned.

Youji shoved Ken in the back seat with Aya and sat with the passenger side door open for Omi to climb into. He put the car into drive and waited for the blonde to get there. Aya was leaning back against the seat, head slowly rolling back and forth, chest heaving. Ken was trying to hold himself in a sitting position, pushing himself off of Aya's arm to hold himself up.

"Hit it!" Omi yelled, leaping into the passenger seat and slamming the door shut. Youji floored the accelerator. Omi crouched in the passenger seat, aiming back behind them with the crossbow out the window. Gunfire erupted behind them. Youji briefly saw the orange bursts of sparks in the rearview mirror before the windshield turned opaque. Bullets shattered the back and front windshields, and the shatterproofing held the mass of small glass particles together in a white mass.

"Shit!" Youji threw his fist forward to punch out the windshield. Omi turned his head to look ahead of them.

"Youji-kun, you're going to hit th-!"

He's fibulating!

You fought the good fight.

Chest paddles, stat!

You're tired now, aren't you?

Gimmie five CC's of adrenaline!

Just relax now.

He's flatlining!

It's time.

Youji blinked again. Light blinded him, and he threw his arm up to cover his eyes instinctively. He heard a rushing sound and turned to see red taillights retreating away from him. He was standing in the middle of the street. He ran out of traffic and to the sidewalk.

"Where the hell am I now?" he whispered.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Youji spun again so fast he nearly fell over. A white-haired man stood behind him. Eyepatch on a pale, scarred face.

Youji immediately grabbed for his watch, and his fingers encountered nothing. He groped in denial as Farfarello stared at him.

"That's pointless."

Youji gaped at the Irishman. "What do you want?"

"I've already taken it." Farfarello cocked his head.

"And what is that?"

"You didn't need it anyway."

Youji launched himself at the Irishman and passed through him. He skidded to a stop, regaining his balance to turn and look behind him. Farfarello turned to look at him again.

"What are you? A ghost? A figment of my imagination?"

"Neither. You are."

"What?" Youji blinked rapidly.

Farfarello cocked a smile. "Still in denial?"

Youji looked down at his hands and noticed he could see through them. He slowly looked back at Farfarello, who patiently waited.

"If I'm a ghost, then what are you?"

"I'm me."

Youji narrowed his eyes. "I've had enough of these games."

Farfarello cocked a finger and motioned him to follow. Youji blinked and did as the Irishman disappeared around the corner.

-------------------

Youji could only stare at the sight that greeted him. Aya's car had smashed into a building. Omi's broken body lay half on the hood, half inside the car, through the windshield. Blood ran off the hood to drip to the ground. Sightless blue eyes stared off into the street.

Aya lay sprawled between the two front seats, face down, body limp. Ken lay across the back seat, body limp and head hanging limply, at an unnatural angle. In the driver's seat...was himself.

His head lay on the steering wheel, the horn screaming for attention. Blood ran down the side of his face, most of his features hidden behind a curtain of blonde hair.

Youji looked to Farfarello. "This isn't real. Leave me alone!"

"But it is real."

Youji turned to see Crawford walked toward them.

"It is you that isn't real." Schuldig slid around the corner from behind them.

Youji stepped back from them, finding himself retreating towards the car. "I killed us?"

"Indeedy do."

"Then why am I still here?"

"You're stubborn."

"You had to play it the hard way."

Youji blinked at the assembled Schwarz members. "If I'm dead, why can you see me?"

Schuldig laughed, and Crawford crossed his arms, ducking his head to look back up with a smile.

"We're here to send you home, Youji."

"Home?"

"It's our job." Quiet Nagi spoke up.

"What are you guys?"

Schuldig stepped out in front of the others and spread his arms out like a parody of Jesus on the cross, head hanging to the side.

Youji stared as wings unfolded and spread from the German's back. Wings also unfolded on the others.

"That answer your question?" Schuldig turned his head to look at Youji.

"You refused to let go of your life. Trying to live it as normal." Crawford stepped forward, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose with a finger, wings tucked neatly behind his shoulders. "Repeating your last day on Earth over and over again. But you are already gone, Kudou. You just needed to realize it."

"Youji-kun?"

Youji turned to see his friends, his teammates, standing on the street together, looking towards him.

"Omi, Ken, Aya..."

"Are you going to join us now, Youji?" Ken asked, smiling gently.

Youji looked back to the angels standing guard, to the demolished car, which now only had him in it, then to his friends. Omi was smiling brightly, Aya looked at him with cool eyes, and Ken extended his hand.

"Come on, Youji. Let's go home."

Youji stared at Ken's hand. He didn't know where home was.

"Yooooujii!"

Youji's head jerked up. "Asuka?"

She stood on the left of his teammates, fists on her hips. "Are you coming or not?"

"Youji, are you ready to join us?" Aya asked in a surprisingly gently voice.

Youji felt a smile spread across his face, and he stepped towards them. Omi lifted an arm to welcome him in a beckoning motion.

"Yes, I'm ready." Youji reached out to take their hands.

That's it.

There's nothing else.

Stop operation.

Time of death, 0241 hours local.

 
 
(1) Morning. Basically a greeting.

Ending Note: I wrote this after 'Jacob's Ladder' kept running through my head. In case anyone is confused, Schwarz are angels that came to take Youji's 'life'. Schuldig took the Koneko no Sumu Ie. Nagi took Ken, Aya, and Omi. Crawford took Asuka. And Farfarello took Weiß itself from Youji, indicating his inability to let go of those parts of his life was what kept him hanging around.