I don't claim ownership of any creative property belonging to One Piece. This is just my hobby.

Sanji hummed to himself as he trotted down the halls with his special clipboard. He loved his job as a nurse. Caring for people when they were hurting made him happy. He loved the people he got to meet too. Usually everyone was friendly and interesting, but there was always at least one patient who made things difficult for the nursing staff. Sanji was one of the only male nurses at this hospital, so when the girls were having a hard time, they often asked him to help out.

Today the adorable nurse, Cami, had asked him to aid her with a real bastard that had been difficult about taking his medicines, eating, changing his bandages, taking his blood pressure... and just generally anything the nurses needed to do. Of course Sanji would never deny a beautiful woman a request - so even though he was giving up part of his break to fit in another patient, he would do it out of his eternal love for Cami. She would doubtlessly finally notice his shining feelings for her and fall into his arms! His heart beat faster just thinking about it! Ah, his pure love would be fullfilled at last!

Sanji stopped at room three hundred and thirty three, and double checked the chart. This was definitely the room. Now apparently this particular dumbass had gotten himself sliced head-to-toe falling off a mountain or something. Honestly, Sanji didn't care how the fucker had ended up at his hospital; this guy had upset Cami, so he would pay by having pills forcibly shoved down his throat!

Sanji strolled confidently into the room. "Mr. Roronoa? I understand you have some problems with your assigned nurse, so I dropped by to assist with making sure you receive the care recommended by your doctor." A loud snort of laughter made him look up from his clipboard with an irritated twitch to his brow, "What's so funny?"

"Oh my god, a male nurse? And you're even wearing the same cute little hat the last bitch was wearing!"

Sanji growled and had a needle in his hand in a flash "Say that again and I'll pump you so full of morphine that you won't be able to tell if I've ripped your limbs off or not!"

The patient gave him an irritating smirk, "That's not much of a threat, nursie; taking all of my pain away? You'd be better off threatening me with this awful hospital food"

Sanji eyed the line of gauze taped all the way down the patient's tan chest. "So you are in pain. Are you stupid? Refusing to take medicine that will help - dumb masochist."

The patient scowled and looked off to the side, giving Sanji a better look at a pierced ear and dyed green hair. Sanji smirked; was that supposed to be style? "Are you just going to stand there like a creep all day, or are you going to get the picture and leave me the fuck alone? I'll heal just fine if I sleep."

Sanji rolled his eyes, "Sleeping is good for you, but you need other things to get you healthy as well." Smoothly, Sanji glided forward and trapped the patient's arm in a vice-like grip, slapping the pressure cuff on it before the shocked man came to and tried to wriggle away. "Good boy. Sit there like a nice plant, and let me do my job!"

"Fuck you, I'm not a plant!"

"Do you have a degree in medicine? No? Well I do, and I know a lump of fucking moss when I see it!"

Sanji took advantage of Zoro's next attempt at an argument to jam a thermometer in his ear. The way his eyes bugged out was hilarious. Sanji smirked victoriously as he went to the next chore that had to be completed.

"Oh HELL no!"

"Either you have me carry you to the bathroom or I get a catheter!" Sanji's flat tone and bland expression brooked no argument.

Zoro paled considerably. "F-fine."

Later Sanji left the hospital room with a little skip in his step. He had to find Cami and tell her what a good job he had done! It was funny though, he didn't think that patient was hard to deal with at all. Sanji had actually enjoyed bickering with the mossy dumbass. Maybe he would ask Cami to let him take that patient off her hands entirely.

Maybe he would cook him something a little special tomorrow He had said he hated the food here and Sanji knew how to cook… Naturally he would tell the guy that he'd put plant fertilizer in it just to fuck with him.