DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.

A/N: So, my beta (FallenForTheDraco - Kim) decided to do the 100 themes challenge. I'm doing Variation 5 with Naruto. It will be totally Akatsuki centric, and each will have its own genre. So this fic will be mainly made out of small oneshots. They may occasionally connect, but I don't know. Sorry, I'm tired. It's 1:35, and I got to get up for school tomorrow...but I'm still talking to my beta on MSN, and I WAS going to go to bed, but she suggests I put this up first.

I could have made you wait another 6 hours... :P

Anyway, you'll all get what I mean after about 3 chapters I guess?

Warnings: THIS WHOLE FIC IS RATED T, AS IT CONTAINS HIDAN. BUT I MIGHT HAVE SHOUNEN-AI (BOYXBOY) AND POSSIBLE SEXUAL INNUENDOS LATER ON...AND BLOOD AND GORE...
But this one only has swearing...OOC-ness and Slight Crack...

Title: 1) Chores

Genre: Humor (sad attempt)/ Family?

Itachi was lounging in the sitting room of the Akatsuki base, legs propped up on a messy coffee table and reading a leather-bound book about a boy who discovers he was actually a part machine. The other members were doing their own thing around the room, save Kisame, Konan and of course Pain.

Kisame was in the kitchen, cleaning up after they all had diner whilst Konan was probably with Pain in his study.

It was all quiet until...

SLAM

All the members looked up from what they were doing and stared in the direction of Pain's study. Even Kisame had stopped washing up to poke his head around the door frame. Tobi had paused in mid poke that was headed towards Deidara.

"Senpai, what -"

"Shh!"

The other members shushed Tobi, straining their ears to hear any hint of an argument.

"You lazy, idiotic bastard! You're a pathetic excuse for a leader. You can order everyone to do their chores but you can't do your own? Calling them lazy and childish, you hypocrite! I might not be that feminine but I WOULD LIKE to live in a clean, if that isn't too much to ask, oh so great Leader-sama."

The Akatsuki winced at Konan's words. Even Sasori and Itachi who hardly ever showed emotion, but they were still shaking inside.

Silence surrounded the Akatsuki members as they heard their leader being repeatedly smacked into a wall and what sounded like many pieces of paper flying around, most likely cutting him in...certain places.

Kakuzu was the first to move as he put his money away in his pocket and stood up. He walled as calmly as he could towards the calendar. He frowned as he quickly figured out what time of the month it was.

Before he was able to turn around and alert the other members, Itachi spoke up.

"It's that time again isn't it?"

Kakuzu sadly nodded.

"Well, fuck this. I'm going back to my Jashin-damned room. Seeya motherfu -"

Hidan was cut off with quickly approaching footsteps echoing down the hallways.

They all dropped whatever they were doing and jumped up. There wasn't enough time to get back to their rooms now without facing a very pissed off Konan.

"Deidara, clear up the mess on the table and Hidan, fluff up the pillows." Sasori ordered them whilst he connected chakra strings to various brooms that began sweeping away bits of food and wood shavings on the floor. Kisame had resumed washing the dishes with the help of Itachi.

"But Danna, un! It's not my turn to do chores!"

"Don't argue with me Deidara!"

"Un!"

"Stop ordering him around, asshole." Hidan retorted towards the redhead, resulting in him being hit mysteriously by a flying book.

Zetsu stopped tending to the living room plants, informing the rest of them that he was going to try and stall Konan. Kakuzu, being the tallest began to sweep up all the silver cobwebs in the corners of the room.

"Brat, seriously, just make a damn clone if it makes it quicker. Put everything in that closet over there now" Sasori snapped, opening the store room closet for him to push all the rubbish in.

Deidara nodded in response, making the appropriate hand sign. A clone appeared next to him, giving its original a cheeky grin. Whilst everyone else was putting the finishing touches to the living room, the blonde teen casually walked around him, eyeing his clone. He suddenly stopped in front of it and placed a hand on his hip, smirking.

"Damn, do I really look that sexy, un?"

Sasori scowled as another mysterious flying book went flying, this time towards the blonde, causing him to fall.

"Ow, un!"

"Pick that up Hidan!"

"Tsh. Shut the fuck up, Mr. Woodcock!"

Sasori growled at the Jashinist, who was childishly sticking out his tongue. Tobi saw the display of flying books, and decided it looked like fun. So, picking up the nearest green, leather-bound book, threw it in a random direction.

Unfortunately, it hit a rather expensive vase that the Akatsuki had gotten. Kakuzu had finished just in time to see the vase shatter, making him drop to his knees as he thought of the amount of money that they had paid to buy it.

"And so, I think that if it receives more sunlight, and if we add some of Sasori's herbs, the flowers should turn a beautiful shade of bl- "

CRASH!

Konan held up a hand to silence Zetsu's talk on how to change the colour of various exotic flowers.

"What was that?"

"Er..."

"You're not hiding anything from me are you?"

"N-no! Of course not!"

"I'm going to go and find out." Konan spun on her heel and stalked off. Zetsu found that it would be a good time to warn the others...

The Akatsuki admired their handiwork. Everything was now spick and span, and they could actually see the floor now! Itachi had come up with the great idea of stuffing Tobi into the closet, along with various pieces of their 'junk' and the broken vase into a nearby storage cupboard.

Quick, approaching footsteps approached.

Simultaneously, their heads all snapped towards the corridor, before they all jumped to their previous sitting places, trying as best they could to look as casual as possible.

"What was that - Oh!"

Konan raised a pale hand to her mouth, amazed by the sight that greeted her.

All the members of the Akatsuki (minus Pein, Zetsu and Tobi) were all sitting peacefully together, in a pristine living room. There was no mess or dust anywhere. For once, they had all done their chores.

She smiled and her amber eyes turned soft.

"Aw. How sweet. At least you all do your chores; unlike that bastard 'leader' of yours. How bout I all take you all out for ice cream!"

Konan pranced happily around the room, kissing each member on the forehead.

Not wanting to anger her, in case of another sudden mood swing, they all agreed and left.

Two hours later...

"Deidara-senpai...can I come out now?"

Argh! I'm tired!

Oh, and we challenged each other to finish the challenge before the end of the year

My beta, (link on profile) is doing Variation 1 with Dramione. She's not doing them in order (I will though :P ) and she's already posted the first one (she's posting them separately). It's called Insanity. Go. Read. Now. :P

I'm going to TRY and update once a week. But I have poor updating skills. This WILL be my MAIN priority, but I'll still do other...stuff

And a virtual cookie for anyone who guesses what book Itachi was reading at the beginning...I bet none of you will get it...

Review? So I can have something to read in the morning?

~ML