Cecil: The truth is, only trust the lies. Welcome to Night Vale. (Play Theme Song) Cecil: Hello, listeners! Today's top story is about a new visitor to our little burg. Please give a huge Night Vale-ian welcome to Mr. Scott, a safety inspector from the State Government! Finally, the State Government has sent some sort of recognition to Night Vale in the form of a safety inspector. Mr. Scott is here to look around a bit, see what's going on, and maybe suggest some things to make our great town even greater. Mr. Scott is tall, with grey hair, a pale, wrinkly face and a blue tweed jacket. If you see him, run up and give him a hug. Maybe offer to buy him a piece of Lemon Beetle pie at the Moonlight All-Nite Diner. Or not. In other news, the mountain is back. There is lava coming out of the mountain. Everybody should run, says my perfect Carlos. But, who cares about a little lava? "We are all invincible to lava," the City Council has announced in a statement. "Life shall go on as normal." They then dropped to their knees, shouted a series of garbled words, and dissipated. So don't worry about the lava, listeners! We'll all be perfectly fine. Next, we'll show a word from our sponsor. (Play creepy music) Are you tired? Tired of what? Life? The world? Existence? Are you sick? What illness do you have? A cold? The flu? Cancer? Do you like eating? Eating what? Chocolate? Pie? The souls of your enemies? Do you know things? Know what? About the void? About yourself? About the monsters that live in your walls and under your bed and occasionally eat your bed slippers, and that's why you can't find them again? Walgreens. At the corner of happy and mortal terror. (Music stops) Listeners, we have some bad news. Apparently we are not invincible to lava. This was proven when, because I told her to, Intern Veronica ran out into the lava to make sure of the fact that we are invincible. Our hearts go out to the family of Intern Veronica, and, well, you know, we're very sorry. By the way, we are holding job interviews for station interns today. If anyone is interested, please come by the station tonight at 12:00 midnight. Bring a résumé, $20 because we really, really need funding, and a signed permission slip from the City Council. Thank you. Back to the news. It seems my beautiful, perfect, amazing Carlos was right. Run for your lives. Let's play a prerecorded Public Service Announcement while I get to safety. (Play happy yet creepy music) Everybody knows that the City Council is be obeyed at all times, right? They ask you to please remember to turn in all forms, pay the pleasantly-asked-for taxes, and sacrifice a sacred mongoose every weekend. Many families have been forgetting to do this important task, and therefore been kindly-pleaded to give up one family member to be locked up in the mines until the nicely-begged-for tasked are competed. Thank you. (Music stops, and a crackling feedback is heard, as well as heavy breathing) Okay. I'm safe, and I have my microphone with me so I can still continue the broadcast. I'm huddled in one corner of the steel-walled basement I didn't know we had until I followed the trail of slime to the trapdoor on the first floor. Whom knows who laid down the trail of slime for me, but whoever it was, thank you. How's everyone doing- (Cellphone rings) It seems I am getting a call..ooh! It's from my Carlos! Hold on a moment...hello Carlos! (Muffled voice on the phone) Oh my...yes, I'm safe. Are you? (Muffled voice) Oh good. So...what's that? (Muffled voice) Ok. Yes, I'll tell them. Stay safe, my Carlos. (Muffled voice) Oh my. (Giggles slightly) You too, Carlos, see you tonight. If we both live that long. Bye. (Hangs up) Alright. Well. My perfect Carlos has announced that there is a safe shelter right outside of town, and that the lava has started to drain from the town. Many houses have been destroyed, but it will all be over soon, and hopefully all the lava will drain all the way to Desert Bluffs. They deserve it. In celebration, let's go to the weather. (Play song) Welcome back from the weather, my dearest listeners. It's now the end of a long and heated day. I have a date with Carlos later, if the town isn't completely ruined. Hopefully the repairs will be quick and easy. Just remember the phoenix. From the flames of destruction, or lava of destruction, the is rebirth. Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.