Barney hated physical therapy. He really hated it. He thought he'd never disapprove of anything containing the word "physical" but it appeared that he'd finally met his match (not including physical geography).
Marshall stupidly asked him what he was doing didn't help. Barney shot his friend a withering look.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Glaring." Marshall replied and stared at his shoes. "Effectively."
Barney sighed.
"If it isn't obvious, I'm trying to re-learn how to walk!" he snapped.
"Can I watch?" asked Marshall, looking up.
He seemed completely oblivious to the venom in Barney's voice.
"If you must."
Marshall sat down.
With the help of the nurse Barney moved his foot a tiny step forwards. He hated this. He could barely control his own legs. The frustration was rather overwhelming. Another tiny step was made. After what felt like an eon the nurse suggested that he should take a break. Barney promptly collapsed into his wheelchair.
"Same time tomorrow." said the woman.
"Sure." he replied, winking.
It had become a reflex over time. The nurse rolled her eyes and left, leaving Marshall and Barney together.
There were a few minutes of awkward silence which Marshall eventually broke.
"That looked like it was going well." he said optimistically.
Barney's eyes sent daggers at his friend.
"Well? I'm stuck here for the entire summer! I should be out there, getting laid but instead I'm wasting time in a hospital where I don't have enough complete bones to enjoy myself!"
"You're not the only person having a miserable summer." Marshall protested.
"Oh yeah because being engaged is so horrible." Barney replied, thinking of Ted and Stella.
"I'm unemployed." Marshall pointed out.
"But you're not broke to the point where you can't walk!"
Marshall took a few minutes to absorb this.
"You really don't like it here do you?" he said eventually.
"Whatever gave you that idea; was it my frosty glare or the pig that powers your brain starting to fly?"
Marshall ignored the insult and tried to positive about his friend's situation.
"Come on, it's not that bad here."
"Then why does something bad have to happen to land people in this hell hole?"
"Maybe if you just looked both ways when you were – "
"Ted was in hospital Marshall – I had other things on my mind!"
Marshall gave up. They had reached stalemate.
Barney changed topic.
"Could you get me out?" he asked desperately.
"Don't you want to regain the use of your legs?"
"I'm sick and tired of feeling helpless! If I'm going to be pathetic I'd rather be at home." Barney paused. He hadn't meant to say that. "Do you know how many bangable chicks there are round this place?" he said hurriedly. "None!"
Marshall couldn't help but wonder if this was due to the wheelchair and the fact that the nurses were meant to be helping him get better, not take advantage of him, but somehow he had a feeling that common sense was not the best tactic to use on his friend. It hadn't worked so far.