Tulsa, Oklahoma, 735 N. St. Louis Ave. A young man is standing by the phone, hoping that what he had just
been told was not really that bad. Without hesitating and still in a haze, he grabs the key cars, turns on the
engine of his dusty old car and starts driving. What if when he comes back anything is longer the same? No. He
just couldn't think about that, he had to wait and see it for himself. The woman from whom he had received the call had just told him the essential.

He arrived sooner than expected. It normally took him 10 minutes to get there, but today he got there in a rush. The rest of the gang followed on another car. They had insisted on going, and even tried to take me there, but surely there were going to be some tough and strenuous hours and I didn't want to keep them all night long.
Almost two years ago we were mourning the deaths of Johnny and Dallas, and now three people could be dying.
Again. No rest. It's like some kind of ritual or what? First the Curtis parents, then our buddies and now a car
accident. Again. Grief, funerals, depression, the feeling of going nowhere… again. Before I expect the hospital
comes in sight. I cut the engine, get outta the car, enter the hospital and once I have asked the receptionist
where should I wait and if she knew anything, I go to the ER and collapse in a chair. Sodapop looks at me
worried but doesn't say anything. Instead he sits next to me with Pony on his other side, Darry and Steve just
standing still, with their hands in their pockets, looking at a poster that hangs on the wall. While we waited, I
thought about the day we married, when I told my mum that she was going to have a grandchild or the sight of
my sister in my wedding.

Cathy is 8 months pregnant, 32 weeks carrying our baby and now it could be all
thrown away because of a drunk driver. We were going to call her Hope, as we knew that she was on the way
on the first death anniversary of Johnny and Dallas. After some hard months, it looked like everything was
gonna be alright. I got married, my wife got pregnant, the Curtises and the State were in good terms, my mom
got another job and life was finally giving us a break. Too optimistic right? I know. Life can really be an asshole
sometimes. I'm not ready to go through everything again. I can't see myself without them. They are all my
family, they have helped me get through some tough moments. Darry stayed with me when my dad run away,
Soda comforted me when Dallas and Johnny died and Steve and Ponyboy have always been there. To have a
drink, to go to the movies or to watch TV. I thank God for having them. I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder,
and as I turned around Darry was looking at me, asking if I was okay, if I wanted to go outside for a bit.
Apparently, I was crying. I just shrugged and he let it go, understanding what I was going through. Not knowing what is happening is even worse than knowing it, because at the same time you are hopeless and hopeful. Pessimistic and optimistic. Your brain is filled with bloody and scary views of the ones you love. At the same time I didn't want to know the news jus yet, it's like if you don't know the truth, you can keep lying to your inner self. Even if you know what is going to happen, you keep it to yourself, no matter how much it hurts, because that way you can pretend that nothing has happened for a little bit longer.

The hours passed, and we still didn't know anything. Steve got us some drinks and food, but I wasn't hungry. It didn't seem ethical to me to drink and eat as if nothing was happening. Doctors and nurses inside the operation room kept going out and in the room, none of them answering my questions. At one point I started to shout at them, but Steve and Darry managed to hold me back. 'It's not worth it Man', they told me. I knew that, I knew that I was needed here, and with my behavior I could end up being hauled in for attacking the medical staff. I didn't want that, but doubt was killing me. Not so long after my breakdown a doctor started to walk towards us.

He had blood all over his gown. The blood of the ones I loved. All of us stepped forward so we could be face to face.
"Well?"
" Your mother was hit on the side and we thought that we could save her, but as we were operating she had a heart attack and there was nothing left to do. Regarding your sister, as she was behind the driver's sit had serious brain damage and internal bleeding. She wouldn't have recovered even if she had survived. Think that she would have suffered a lot of pain if she had survived"
"Now, about Mrs Cathy... ¿do you want to sit down? "
"I want to know what the hell happened, so please speak"
"Alright then. She and the baby syffered all the impact. Your wife was barely conscious when she got there. She wouldn't hace survived either way, but she told the nurses to save her daughter over her. Your daughter is alive. We don't know if she'll survive. It would be a miracle. I'm not going to give you false hope after what you've been through, but if she survives... If she survives it means that her mother, aunt and grandmother are taking good care of her. She's got some good souls up there looking after her. I know this is hard for you to understand, but you should be grateful. Not many babies survive after a car accident. You can see her, she is in NICU, but I advice you that the sight might be hard for you. I'm sorry son. You have a few minutes with her now, and I'll make sure that a nurse keeps you informed through the night."

" Could you please tell the nurses the name of my daughter?"
"We don't recommend giving babies a name when they are fighting for their lifes. It will be more painful."
"I want her to be called by the name her mother and I chose"
"Alright then. Fill these forms" He called the woman behind the desk who brought me some papers and a pen. "If you need anything call a nurse. I'm sorry"
With the papers already in my hands and feeling dizzy, sick and on the edge, I sat down on a chair, ready to give my daughter the dignity she deserved.
Hope. That's all I have left.