Disclaimer: The characters in this fanfiction do not belong to me. All rights to respective owners.
I stared at the computer screen, reading line after line of information. When the words on the screen began to blur, I yawned, stretching and turning away from the information I was reading to take a break. It was tiring, doing hours of research whenever I have time. I think I'll go get some coffee, and slipped out of my chair to prepare a cup of hot coffee to keep me awake.
As I walked to the kitchen, I saw Kudo sleeping peacefully on the sofa. Earlier, he came over to help me find a cure for APTX4869, insisting that with his help I can find a cure faster. He must be so tired out from doing the research that he just fell asleep on the sofa. My heart sank and I quickly fled to the kitchen as a heavy, uncomfortable feeling envelop my chest. Whenever I see either one of them, I could feel the guilt weighing me down, crashing on my shoulders. I couldn't help it. If it wasn't for me, Kudo would not have shrunk, hence leaving Ran and his life behind; and Ran wouldn't feel so lonely and unhappy, thinking of Kudo every day and missing him. If only I hadn't developed the APTX4869, they could continue enjoying their teenage lives, with Kudo solving mysteries and Ran spending time with him. I feel that I am such a horrible person, taking away everything he held so dear and getting them into danger and causing them unnecessary suffering. It was my fault, and everything had begun with me. If only I could turn back time, I would have never made this kind of stupid mistakes. They wouldn't get hurt and would continue enjoying their happy lives together… …
"Haibara, what are you doing staring at the wall?"
I jumped and turned around only to discover Kudo looking at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes full of concern.
"Nothing. Did you find anything yet?"
He shook his head.
"If that is the case then why don't you get back to work?" and dismissed Kudo with a flick of my eyes. With that he hastily withdrew himself, and made a pot of hot coffee before grabbing a cup of coffee for himself. He added, "if you need any coffee just take the leftover ones. I've made plenty" and left the kitchen.
I didn't reply Kudo and ignored him, staring at the night sky as he made a beeline out of the kitchen. After some thought, I took the remaining coffee, and returned to the seemingly endless pile of research work I have to do. Sighing as I slip back into my seat, I thought, "even though I wish to have never created APTX4869, there is nothing I can do. What is done is already done. No matter how sorry I am I cannot turn back time and right my wrongs. The only thing I can do now is make amends, and hope that my efforts are enough to make up for my past mistakes."
"I'm sorry Kudo-kun, Ran-san, for giving the both of you so much heartache and pain and endangering your lives just by being around you. I'll definitely make sure that I find a cure and make up to everyone for my past mistakes."