Ed's Shiny New Boots
One day Winry gave Ed a pair of shiny new boots and Ed was never the same afterward. Ed loved his new boots. He loved them so much that he never took them off. Meanwhile the homunculi were plotting a way to defeat Ed but they were clueless. No duh! Unbeknownst to Ed, the homunculi were hiding in the laundry upstairs. Ed ran up the stairs because Al was too clunky to do his own laundry. So he threw the laundry down the chute. He thought he heard screams as he did, but he was too preoccupied with his shiny new boots so he just walked off and sat down to admire them some more. Meanwhile, the homunculi were in the laundry basket, having traveled down the chute due to Ed's throwing them in it. "Darn you, Ed!" Envy growled. "You have foiled us again!" Lust snarled. Gluttony was too busy eating a jelly donut to care. Suddenly Envy had a smart thought. " We should destroy Ed's boots!" Lust and Gluttony were confused by this statement. Envy continued, "If we destroy his boots then he will be powerless!" After all, Envy was only somewhat smart. This was him at homunculus genius. So he led the homunculi back up the stairs, which was a challenge. Lust was too mad to see straight, and therefore could not walk. Gluttony was in his own little world, filled with jelly donuts, so he was constantly drooling and not walking at all. Eventually, Envy pushed Lust and Gluttony up the stairs, but he was so hurt by the ordeal that he teleported to a hospital for treatment. As he teleported back, he glared at his fellow homunculi. "Let's go get those boots!" he said. Envy knocked politely on the door, but when Ed didn't answer instantly he kicked it down. " What are you guys doing here!" Ed exclaimed. " We're here to steal your boots!" Envy yelled. Ed yelled, " Boots, power up!"Suddenly Ed's boots were at full strength. They were now even more shiny and new, so much that Lust started thinking about how much she wanted a pair of boots like that, and was too caught up in her daydream to do anything. Envy was paralyzed. He was stuck in the position of being about to lunge at the boots, which was not very comfortable. The boots didn't stop Gluttony, though. He lunged at them and started chewing. Fortunately, Winry had made the boots homunculi resistant, so his teeth ended up biting what tasted like rock. Figuring that he would move on to easier prey, like jelly donuts, he wandered out of Ed's house. Ed dusted off his heroic boots and strode off. "All in a day's work for my shiny new boots!" he said. Then Winry showed up and said, "Ed, time to wash your boots! Take them off, please!" Ed didn't like this. He would never consent to take his boots off. So he ran around the room, stepping unawares on Lust and Envy (Gluttony had made it to Africa by then). Ed was screaming, "Nooooooooooo!"
THE END