You didn't expect to love her so much.

At night you used to be able to walk right in a bar and figure out who was gay, figure out who to make your move on. You acted with confidence and grace, and God only knows how good you were at touching the right heartstrings. You weren't exactly a player, but you were smooth.

And now you've been single for too long and Callie forgot you.

You sit with all your friends around you. April is by your side – kind of like a bodyguard. If anyone tries to interrupt she will have your back and be the rude friend who pulls you away with a, "Can I talk to you for a second in private?"

Sitting there in your coral dress you're unlike you. You just aren't confident and you don't feel sexy. You just feel old and worn out. You know what it must look like that you showed up, but didn't you have to? It's the only girl you put away your stubbornness for and actually had a baby. She convinced you to have a baby with her and now you're the awkward ex-wife at a wedding.

At least there's an open bar after this.

You know you shouldn't be here. She didn't even invite you. How fucked up was that, anyway? The two of you were married once and she still didn't have the courtesy to invite you? You have a daughter together – a daughter who is in the wedding.

"Arizona?"

You turn to see Meredith. She has a cross expression mixed with a hint of pity.

"What are you doing here?"

You don't know. Are you here because a coworker is getting married? Or maybe because two of your coworkers are getting married? For the alcohol? Because all of your friends are here?

What if you're here because you love Callie? That's what they're all afraid of, right? That you might ruin the wedding? The gazes towards you do make you feel a bit awkward, but you have to be here.

"What are you doing here, Arizona?" Meredith repeats, her firm voice coming out with that serious stare she's so good at.

Somehow Callie is her replacement Cristina. In this odd way you're jealous. Even if it was just the role of her best friend you would still be an important figure in Callie's life – right now you're such a small person. You would be more than just being the other mother of Sofia's.

"Ari-"

"I'm not gonna do anything," you quickly defend yourself. You can see clearly how pathetic this is but you can't draw yourself to walk away.

"You better not," she sighs.

You should know better. She doesn't back down that easily. In fifteen minutes she's back at your side, crouching down to match your eye level as if you're some child she wants to pretend is on the same level with her when you aren't.

"The bride wants you."

"Which one?"

She doesn't find it all that amusing. "Callie."

You get up and April grabs your hand. She tilts her head in caution and you nod. You have to do this.

"What are you doing?" Callie asks bluntly.

"Wow," you gape. Her dress. Her hair. Her makeup. Her. She's even more beautiful the second time. "You look-"

"I know," she smiles. She got her confidence back while you still can't seem to find yours. At least one of you got back up after the divorce.

"You forgot to invite me," you offer meekly.

Callie goes to push a strand of hair from her neck but then stops when she remembers her hairspray is holding everything in perfect place. It was just one of her nervous habits. Every time she gets the slightest bit nervous she plays with her hair. It's probably killing her to have to sit still.

She stays silent, clearly not exactly sure what to say to that. Even though you wouldn't know what to say if roles were reversed, you don't help her. There's no way to redeem yourself, no romantic speech to get her back. You're an ex.

And this girl… she's perfect for Callie. You don't want to admit it, but she is. No matter how hard you've tried to hate her you can't because she's everything you're not.

You stare hard at her. You have so many memories with her. It's killing you inside, but for now you have to play it cool if you don't want to get kicked out of this whole church.

You used to cry over her every night after you first split up. You actually cried. They were real tears, too – not the robotic, perky Arizona that everyone was used to. You promised yourself months ago that you wouldn't cry over her anymore though. You knew you had to stop – that you've moved on. But Callie Torres deserves to be cried over. Maybe that's your job in Callie's life right now. To be that someone who cries over her is still someone in her life. She just doesn't know it.

"Obviously I know you didn't forget the invite," you eventually stutter. Honestly, you're pretty embarrassed. When you came it didn't cross your mind that people would notice. You figured going with April would hide the fact that you weren't exactly wanted. Her family wouldn't remember that you were the one at the alter during her first wedding and your friends would forget the history between you two.

"I didn't invite you because… It's weird."

"It's not weird."

"It's weird," she says with finality. "I can't see you when I'm up there."

You look down, unsure if you should go there. Eventually you know you have to go for it. She's about to kick you out of her wedding. You have to go there. In the middle of this extravagant room in an extravagant church in what you know will be an extravagant wedding…

"I love you enough that I know I have to crash your wedding, Callie," you rush out. You sigh, finally finding that lacking confidence. "I'm not the bitter ex, I just want to see you be happy."

She stares at you, trying to figure you out. This isn't a manipulation tactic this time. It's the real thing. You want to be there when she's happy. Maybe it's pathetic, maybe it's love, but it's the truth.

She speaks softly and you're surprised by the words she uses to follow up that question. "Do you think it's a mistake to marry her?"

You look down, but you can't deny it. You can't say it's a mistake because Callie finally found someone who loves her back just as much. You won't deny for a second that you loved Callie more (it is love[d], right?), but you do know that you just didn't treat her right. This girl isn't taking her for granted. You hate it, but she truly does treat Callie better than you ever did.

"You need to marry her," you let out a small smile. "We both know we didn't work… right? Well, I'm going to assume you agree… She's a better match for you than I was."

You have to hear Callie say you're wrong – that you guys will work if you just try harder.

"You're right," Callie gives you that wide, happy smile. "This isn't awkward for you?"

Of course it's awkward for you.

"Not at all. As I said, I want to see you be happy, Callie."

Your ex-girlfriend gives you a small smile. She knows full well that this is crushing you, but it has to be done. You're insisting it. It has to be done.

"I'm happy, Arizona."

And it breaks your heart to hear your name roll off her lips. It had been a long time since she said your name. It comes so comfortably yet feels so wrong. It's not your name that belongs there anymore.

"Good," you nod in fake happiness. She can see through you, but you're grateful that she doesn't say anything. "I'll always love you. But she's the one for you, Calliope."

Callie nods and you know that's your cue. You walk out of the room, nodding to Meredith for her to go back in.

Making a beeline to the bathroom, you go in and let them fall. The tears. You pray that no one comes in and smile wryly. You're actually praying in a church – it's been a long time since that happened.

God, you never expected to love her so damn much. But you know it's better to let her go, because she's the one for her.

She is.

She's the one for her.

Not you.