For your decision-making ("To read or not to read...") purposes: This story features Jane Foster as a key character, too; she isn't listed because she's not available on this site as an "Avengers" character (update: she's been added, yay!). It features a large cast from the MCU, far too many to list, but most are in more minor roles. It takes place after Infinity War. I wanted Loki to have a bigger role...and, you know, not be dead, so...I started writing. Please bear in mind: This is, generally speaking, not a story about happy people; it gets very dark. A few more notes follow at the end.
No Other Choice
-1-
"We're going to need more help," Bruce said, looking from Tony to Shuri in the large, otherwise empty conference room. These days, everything felt large and empty. "This isn't my area of expertise. And frankly, it isn't either of yours, either."
"Definitely not," Shuri agreed. "But it isn't anyone's area of expertise. We each have unique skills. We have knowledge, we have technology…right now what we need most is creative thinking."
"Actually this is some people's area of expertise. The top four names I checked, two were direct deaths, a third was in an airplane that crashed into the Atlantic, a fourth died in a freak looting incident, somebody desperate for a prescription he couldn't get…it got ugly," Tony said, cutting himself off from dredging up the details of the news report he'd read right before this meeting. The chaos that had followed The Snap, that still followed it just one month later, had pushed the death rate beyond Thanos's intended 50%.
"Who specializes in this?" Okoye said, standing near the door in her uniform. She wasn't really here for the meeting but rather as a protective guard – the complicated issue of Wakanda's succession had yet to be determined and until then Princess Shuri was ruling in consultation with her mother and representatives of the other tribes. "It's not the realm of science. It's science fiction." Three heads turned her way. She pursed her lips. "Forget I said that."
"I just got here three days ago on a spaceship that belonged to a guy from Missouri who was kidnapped as a kid by a blue pirate and traveled the galaxy mostly stealing stuff, from what I've gathered. The pilot of said spaceship was a blue lady who's not super talkative but who I think is more cyborg than flesh and blood even though she still gets really grumpy when she's hungry, which she was a lot of the time because Thor, space Viking from a planet called Asgard, apparently took most of the rations from the spaceship before he headed off to Nidavellir to-"
"Did you miss the part where I said, 'Forget I said that'?"
"No. Just ignoring it. More fun. Look, Shuri's right, we're going to have to think creatively. I don't know what the line is between science fiction and science fact is anymore. Until recently, this was science fiction. Now? We know it's not."
"We could look more closely at those four. Maybe they had research assistants working with them. Were they all physicists?" Bruce asked.
"Yep. Three astrophysicists and…"
"And what?" Shuri prompted.
"And I just had an idea. Not her specialization, either, but an astrophysicist who's not afraid to blow up the box and get creative. Has anyone heard from Jane Foster?"
/
/
"Tony? Oh my God, Tony, is that really you? I thought you were dead!"
"Hey, sweetheart, it's good to hear your voice, too. Having some communications problems down there? I showed up in a spaceship a couple of days ago, I'm pretty sure that was front-page news."
"You don't know the half of it. We were all over the shortwaves in the beginning, but now…we don't have time for much news. It's…it's a real struggle, Tony. We lost our engineer, our doctor. We have limited internet connectivity and even the sat phones have been unreliable, and last week we had a problem with the main generator…not a big one but it was up to me to fix it and we kept losing the satellite connection and… Tony, the National Science Foundation said they can't do anything to help us. The military said they can't do anything to help us. Not until October at the earliest. That's five months away. There were fifty of us and we're down to twenty-seven. I still have Maria Hill's number, I left messages on her voicemail but…she must not have made it. I called you, too, and I just assumed…. Tony…is there anything you can do?"
"Yeah, calm down, Jane, it's okay. I'm sure I can modify a suit so it can make it to the South Pole in austral winter, but hold on a sec."
Jane put a hand over the phone and looked around her. All twenty-six of the other Polies had crowded into Comms by now. "He says he thinks he can help." Tears gathering in a few eyes was enough to leave Jane drawing in a shaky breath and brushing the back of her hand across her own eyes.
"Jane, you there?"
"I'm not going anywhere."
"About that…how about if I send a whole ship to pick you up? Two of them, perfectly capable of getting to the South Pole, and bringing every single one of you back."
/
/
"Hey, Shuri? Is Friday up and running yet?" Tony asked when he hung up the phone.
"I think so. We just needed to convert the program and replicate it onto our systems. I set it for primary mode voice activation, but it will be integrated into our technology as well if you want to access it that way. Friday, are you there?"
"I am, Princess Shuri. Boss, it's good to be back."
"Yes. Don't poke fun, Friday, but I've missed you."
"I've missed you too."
"That would mean so much more if I hadn't programmed you to say it, but I'll take it anyway. Friday, did you log calls from Jane Foster while I was lost in space?"
"Yes, sir. Dr. Foster tried to reach you at two of your numbers. She made forty-one attempts."
/
/
"Have you told Thor yet?"
Tony shook his head.
"You need to tell him."
"They broke up, babe."
"I know, but from what you've said…maybe it would do him some good."
They lay cuddled together on a sofa in the apartment Shuri's people had provided, a large beautifully-appointed apartment that had belonged to some important person who had disintegrated into dust. There was nowhere to look without being reminded of what had been lost.
"Maybe," Tony murmured noncommittally. "To be honest…I dread seeing him again."
Pepper pressed a kiss to his cheek and snaked a hand around his back, pulling him more tightly against her.
"Babe…"
"Mm-hm?"
"Do you ever just want to quit?"
"And do what instead?"
"I don't know. Maybe sign up for one of those 'Feed the World' volunteer farmhand schemes. Maybe go see some famous sites. I bet the lines are a lot shorter these days."
"You don't do lines anyway, and I really can't see you doing farm work."
"Maybe just…settle down somewhere, some small town, live a quiet life, just you and me. Pretend the rest of the world, the rest of the universe, doesn't even exist?"
Pepper sighed. "No. And neither do you, Tony. Not really."
"I know. Doesn't hurt to imagine it once in a while, though. There's just…there's only so much you can take, you know? That whole trip back to Earth…I didn't know if you…if you would be here. And you were, and I was so grateful, I am so grateful, you have no idea. And then I had to go see May Parker…God help me part of me was hoping she didn't survive. And I had to tell her that her kid was dead." He wasn't in any pain, he'd told her. Tony didn't know if that was really true or not. He did know that Peter had been scared, had died in fear. May had blamed him. He couldn't argue; he blamed himself.
"I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I didn't think I'd ever be happy again, after everything that happened. But I am. Because you're here. So please don't do this to yourself, Tony. You've saved so many, but you can't save everybody. I know you wanted to. And even if you never tell me exactly what happened while you were gone, I know you did everything you could."
Tony nodded, then untangled himself from Pepper and sat up, looping his fingers through hers as she sat up with him. "You're right. And it wasn't enough. Half of the universe, Pep, I still can't get that through my head. And you're also right that I can't quit. Even when I want to. Maybe there's still something more I can do."
/
Notes
Continuing from above with a few things that are more in-the-weeds...
This story isn't related to any of my others. To the extent that you know my other work on here and see overlap in some details, such as a setting associated with Jane in this chapter, this is me "cheating." I am trying (trying!) to write this story in as quick a manner as possible. By that I don't mean I'll finish it before Endgame, definitely not, no matter how badly I wish I could. I just mean that, rather than coming up with some new setting and rationalizing why Jane is there (for example), I'm just going to reuse one from another story. It's not an important detail to this story, just a time-saving measure.
I am sorry...sort of...for releasing this. :-) I resisted for a long time, waffled for a long time. I really shouldn't, not when I have others in-progress and this is not a "short story." (I have an enabler who said "Release it," you know who you are!) :-) The thing is, there is a deadline coming in the form of Endgame's release, after which I'm not sure if I'll have the passion for this story that I do now. I started writing this shortly after Infinity War came out, and tried to take into account what few details we had available about Endgame at the time, such as those leaked set photos that strongly suggest time travel to the time when Loki was a prisoner on the helicarrier. But already it's frustrating to see Shuri confirmed dead via promo art when I had decided to write her in as among the survivors. (I wrote this pre-Ant-Man & the Wasp, and included Wasp...haven't decided yet if I will keep her or write her out.) Also, I didn't know anything about Captain Marvel at the time, so she's not in here. Separately, there is not only my love for Loki at play, but also my love for plumbing the depths of emotional darkness (if this floats your boat I'm going to predict you're in the right place), and...there are some moments in here where I'm pleased with the writing. And all that makes me want badly to share it and not let it sit collecting virtual dust. So, for those who hear "plumbing the depths of emotional darkness" and get a big excited SMILE on their face, ha, I hope you will enjoy this for what it is, and hang in there, because although I have several chapters' worth written at this point, I do anticipate big time lags down the line. (3/28/19)