Why must I accept the Guidelines EVERY SINGLE TIME I upload a new document? I hate long author notes at the beginning of a story, but it looks like this one will be that way.
I had a ball writing this. It's a spin-off of Snogging and Shagging. Only with a different set of cousins. All the characters mentioned in the former two fictions would be the same here. Loius, James, and Fred are the main characters of this one. The cousincest is intentional, but it is a dialogue fic, so if you don't like that, you can imagine something else instead. Feel free to use your imagination here! :D
Oh yeah! The last time I wrote one of these, someone reviewed and told me it was sort of hard to understand who was speaking, even though I had a certain order in which they spoke. So this time I will tell you the order. It alternates. Fred will speak, then James, then Fred, then James. You get the gist? When Louis comes in, it will go to Louis, Fred, James, Louis, Fred, James. :D
Rated M for sexual themes which maybe, possibly, COULD be taken as something else. And for language.
Enjoy! :D
"Jamesie…I think Rose is a perv."
"Who?"
"Rose. You know. Our little cousin, Rose."
"I'm sorry, Freddie. My brain doesn't always follow your stupidity. What?"
"…"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"… Well, I was only thinking—"
"Oi! Don't do that! You're starting to weird me out a little, Freddie."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Fred, I will not indulge in this staring contest any longer."
"You are sounding a bit like Rose, right now."
"…"
"What I was trying to tell you, Jamesie, is that a few days ago, Dad drug me to go see Aunt Hermione and Uncle Won-Won with him."
"You mean Ron."
"Well, Uncle Won-Won was being a prat so I went upstairs to talk to Rosie and Hugo. I mean, Hugo is a little too much of a rule follower. We still have to work on him a bit, Jamesie, but Rosie isn't such bad company."
"Right. She belches like a beast. Did you hear her yesterday?"
"Oh, yeah! 1,000 meters away and still heard that. I think she broke a world record with that one… But that's not the point, Jamesie!"
"OK! Merlin, Freddie! Sorry. Spit it out already."
"Rosie wasn't home, but I found these in her room."
"You were snooping around in Rose's room?"
"Look at them, Jamesie!"
"…"
"…"
"Is that my brother?"
"Yeah."
"And Malfoy."
"Yeah, I suppose."
"Who else has blonde hair and such a pointy chin?"
"Just Malfoy that I know of."
"…"
"…"
"Freddie! This is a picture of my brother's cock going in –!"
"I know."
"Aahh! Why are you showing me these?"
"Jamesie, I –"
"What is wrong with you, Fred? Put these away! I don't want to see them. They're disgusting!"
"Jamesie, did you hear me? I found them in Rose's room!"
"Freddie, I can't believe…"
"…"
"In Rose's room? Why do you think she had these photos?"
"Well, she always said she wanted to be a photographer."
"But—I –Pffhht! You aren't suggesting she took these pictures?"
"Who else would've?"
"…"
"…"
"Oh Merlin, Freddie. Rose is a pervert."
"That's what I've been saying."
"Do you think they posed for her?"
"Jamesie, have you even looked at the pictures?"
"Fred, it bothers me that you even looked at these. How long have you had these?"
"There's no way that's posing. They were in action, no doubt about that. Obviously. You can see them moving."
"I don't care. Just get rid of them."
"…"
"Fred. Get rid of them. I don't even want to think of my brother like that. Much less have the knowledge that you kept those photos."
"…"
"Thank you."
"…"
"…"
"You know, Jamesie… Allie sort of looks like you."
"…"
"Only… his hair is a bit longer. And the eyes are different. And the freckles are all wrong. And –"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"What was that for?"
"Fred… Just shut up."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Oi! What the hell?"
"Louis… Hiiiiii…"
"…"
"James, Godric, what you have you been doing to him?"
"Hm. Good stuff."
"Merlin, Fred, how many times do I have to tell you to shut your corkhole?"
"I can't believe you guys would do this without me."
"You are more than welcome to join in, Louis-Louis!"
"Fred, aah! Maybe it's better you don't move so much."
"Don't mind if I do, thanks. But Fred, James is right. You might need to put a stopper in. You always get too loud when excited. Do you own a gag, James?"
"A gag?"
"Merlin, Freddie. And you come in here accusing everyone else in the world of being perverts."
"Who'd he accuse of being a perv?... Ah, that's better. No more noise from you, dearest Fredikins."
"…"
"Oh, it doesn't matter. Aah! Maybe we should bind—ah!—his hands too. He's been right out of his mind today."
"It's Fred. What do you expect?"
"…"
"Guess you're right."
"Always am. Fred, don't make us tell you stop one more time."
"…"
"Heh. Make him beg."
"James. You're being demanding. Would you like to take over?"
"…"
"Nah, I'm good for the time being."
"Bloody hell, James! Where did that come from?"
"…"
"I'm the initiator. It's always been that way."
"Riiiight. Fuck, you're making it hard to concentrate!"
"…"
"Ack!"
"Oh!"
"…"
"Haa…"
"Godric!"
"…"
"Did you just see a flash?"
"No. James, you're hallucinating. Go back to—"
"…"
"No! I saw a flash! Look, Freddie, you saw it too, didn't you? See! There was a flash."
"You two are mad. There was nothing. Just… let's finish up now… Ah, stay just like that, Fred."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"There it was again!"
"James, what is wrong with you? There's nothing!"
"I saw it too, though!"
"Freddie!"
"HEY! Who said you could take the gag out?"
"James, she's after us! Saaaave meee!"
"Fred! Ow! That hurt! For fuck's sake, we gotta hide!"
"What has gotten into you two? You've both gone mad! … What are you pointing at me for, Fred?"
"JAMES! She's brainwashed Louis! He's been consorting with the devil, he has!"
"Demons be gone! Fred, we have to make a run for it!"
"Wha—"
"NOW!"
"Wait! NO! I don't mean stop! Keep running, Fred! Keep running!"
"Where are you two going? I wasn't finished yet!... Oh, Merlin, I've suddenly gotten chill bumps…And my hair is standing on end!... Do I hear evil laughter?… Godric, I'm not alone, am I?… W—who—Who's there?"
Bwaahahahahaha! If you don't review, my camera and I will haunt you forever! Mwahahaha! You can run, you can hide, but we'll still find you! Wahahahahaha!