It was one of the lesser-known aspects of being a witch that your powers were linked to the common perception of your familiar. It was widely agreed that this was a good thing – while there were always the lucky bastards whose familiars were tigers or something, there was only so much one could do with the relative powers of a rabbit.

Eruka had made considerable use of this herself. She'd come of age in a time when frogs were commonly associated with evil and witchcraft, which gave her access to a number of fun spells and techniques. She liked to think that for a while, she'd been one of the most powerful witches in the world.

Then the Renaissance happened, and people became much less superstitious. Over time, the common image of frogs became cutesy and harmless.

It was kind of disappointing, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. Besides, Eruka could work with cute. She herself was positively adorable, and that wasn't even getting into how cute Tadpole Jackson was. And at least people kept the whole "metamorphosis" thing in mind, so Eruka never had a problem transforming.

Not that she would rely on a set of powers that was likely to change anyway. She'd been smart enough to recognize the drawbacks long ago, and had made a point of studying a few fields of magic the hard way, just in case. Her mathematical skills weren't just for show, after all.

The point was that Eruka was content with her power set as it was. She kind of missed being able to do anything that was even remotely considered witchy, but she got by well enough. (No, the Medusa thing didn't count. Medusa was scary entirely separate from the public image of snakes.)

And that was why she was entirely blindsided when Free called her over to the computer.

She was just minding her own business, reading one of her old spellbooks and feeling nostalgic. She didn't actually have the power to cast half the spells anymore, at least not on her own, but she could at least stay on top of them just in case.

Free was on the couch in her living room, reading something on his laptop. She didn't know how he even got service in her cottage, since she lived as far from human communities as she could manage, but that didn't stop him from wasting hours on the "Facebook". Apparently he'd ingratiated himself with a group of middle aged women who would periodically send him images with humorous captions. She had no idea why he enjoyed it so much, but at least it got him out of her hair.

Or it had, until she heard him wheezing so hard she thought he might be suffocating. She stood up, planning to fulfill her own curiosity about what could possibly suffocate an immortal werewolf, but hadn't brought herself to go look by the time he called her over. "You've got to see what Doreen just posted!" he said.

Against her own better judgment, she sat down next to him. She wasn't sure quite what she was going to see – Free had been into these strange yellow lumps for a while, so maybe it would be one of those.

She certainly wasn't prepared for the abomination that confronted her.

It was labelled as a frog, but that was an insult to amphibians everywhere. The creature before her was hardly more than an amorphous green blob in a blue shirt. Its lips were a horrifying shade of red, which was almost enough to distract her from the fact that it had lips in the first place.

It was looking down dejectedly. Good, Eruka thought. Such an insult to the noble name of frog deserved nothing but misery and pain. For that matter, so did the person who inflicted it on her.

But when she looked up Free was still chuckling to himself, watching her to see what she thought. She softened, albeit minutely. She'd have to settle for the next best thing. "You said it was Doreen who showed you this crime against frogdom?"

Free nodded. "She's such a wild card," he said.

"And where does this Doreen live?"

Free's eyes widened as he caught on to her plans. "Wait, no, I don't know what you're planning but it's not good. Is it really worth violating the treaty for a meme?"

"I'm sure Death will understand," she said, putting on her best hat. "This is clearly a declaration of war."

Free groaned. "I hate having to be the voice of reason, you know I suck at it."

"Exactly, so don't bother." Eruka glanced at herself in the mirror, making sure she looked adequately sinister. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a mission."

She stormed out the door. She wasn't sure quite where she was going, but someone was going to pay for this.