Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara! or Death Note.

Kala: Lolz, mkay, so thanks to JOEY... Tadase is gunna die. (:

Tadase: OH nuuuuu. Not me. But I'm the gay guy! THAT'S DISCRIMINATION.

Kala: I have nothing against gays. For example, Nic. Nic is gay, but he is awesome... But you on the other hand, well, you're just a FLAMING HOMOSEXUAL.

Tadase: ;[

Joey: I don't see why I have to kill him.

Kala: You wanted to be in one of my stories so badly didn't you?

Joey: Ughh. *moan groan moan* OMG GUESS WHAT. TADASE IS HOTT.

Tadase: ... Sorry, I only have eyes for Kukai. *looks away sadly*

Joey: *seductively* But babehh, I love youuu.

Tadase: It just isn't meant to be. *tear*

Kala: *point. and. laugh.*

"Tadase is the best, I think I'm falling head-over-heels for him. What am I supposed to do? Do I tell him? Or should I wait... I think he's gonna ask me out." Joey was in her own little world as she went on and on about her long-time crush, Tadase Hotori. Everyone knew he was gay, but Joey just wouldn't allow it to be true. "Tadase is soooo hot."

"Joey... you know he's..." Her friend Kala tried to tell her.

"HE IS NOT GAY!" She screamed suddenly. The teacher glared at her. Yes, they were in class. Band, to be exact.

"Joey! You are one of my star students! I cannot believe this kind of behavior is coming from you." Mrs. Firgee yelled. She was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.

FERGALICIOUS! Definition: make them boys go loco!

She answered her phone very quickly to spare the teasing from her students.

"What?" There was a pause. "Oh, to beat level 5." Another pause. "I think you have to kill the giant oompa loompa." Another pause. "Oh, that's not what they're called?" Another pause. "Hmm... hang on." She turned to her students.

"Does anyone in here know how to beat level five on the Harry Potter PC game?"

Silence. She turned back to the phone.

"No one knows... google it or something." There was a pause, then she said, "No, I love you more, hunny bunny sweetie piee!" Then hung up the phone. How cheesy.

Joey turned to Kala. "Aww, that's what me and Tadase are gonna be like when we're a couple."

She clutched her hands together and looked off into the distance. Kala rolled her eyes. "You hopeless romantic, you're in love with a gay guy."

Just then, Tadase walked in, delivering a message to Mrs. Firgee from Mrs. Depends (yes, as in the adult-diaper-thingy). Mrs. Firgee glanced at the note, then pointed to something on the paper and looked at Tadase. "How do you say that word?"

"S-i-x." He sounded it out slowly so she could understand. His voice was very, very gay-sounding, and he was very calm. Joey, on the other hand, was hyperventilating and reaching out to him. Very noticeable. He glanced at her and walked away. You could tell that he didn't care why she was acting this way, he was too busy thinking about who he thought was his future boyfriend, maybe even husband... Kukai Soma.

Kukai was straight. He even had a girlfriend to prove it... but that didn't phase Tadase a bit. He loved him and that was that. It was very obvious, just seeing the way he acted around Kukai; everyone knew Tadase had fallen head-over-heels in love.

"I LOVE TADASE HOTORI!" Joey screamed out as soon as he walked out of the door. Then we heard the timid voice again.

"I... l-l-love Kukai Soma. I'm so s-sorry I can't be with y-you." He had leaned his head in the door because apparently he was spying on our class... for no reason.

"NOOOOO... I'M MELTINGGG!" Joey yelled, reaching out to him. He then ran away, afraid that she would pull out a gun and shoot him because he didn't love her back.

*Two Hours Later*

"He's so amazinggg, and his eyes are purtifulz, and everything about him is incredibleee! I don't know what I would do if Tadase weren't in my life." Joey was still going on and on about Tadgay Hoemori.

"HE'S GAY, JOEY. HE'S GAY!" Kala screamed, then walked away, annoyed by the obsessive girl.

As she walked away, she stopped by a few pictures hanging on the wall that were crooked and straightened them.

She noticed her crush, Mello, staring at her. She turned to him and said, "What? They were crooked and I have a little bit of OCD! Got a problem?" He shook his head, afraid of her. "That's what I thought." She then took his chocolate and walked away, eating it. (A/N: I really am this fricken' abusive to people I like.)

She thought as she walked: Man... I should stop treating him this way, or he'll never know I like him. But whatever, it's not like we have a chance. At least I'm not like Joey... obsessive about things that are only in her head. Everyone knows he's gay, but she doesn't believe it. He even told her himself... she just can't see past her clouded judgement of the 'perfect Tadase' that doesn't exist... what a loser.

Just then Tadase walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulders. "Um..." he began timidly, looking at the ground. "That girl... back there..." he motioned toward Joey. "Sh-she knows I'm gay r-right?" He might seem nervous if you had just met him for the first time, but he always acted this way.

Kala munched on the chocolate while answering him. "No, I try telling her but she doesn't believe me." Just then, Kukai walked by, carrying a lot of stuff.

"Oh, l-lemme get that for you, K-Kukai, my love." Tadase got one of the bags Kukai was carrying and asked where it needed to go.

"That one needs to go to the Douche Room." Kukai said, seriously.

"It's a-a, douche bag?" Tadase said, making Kala burst with laughter.

"LOLZ! Tadase has a douche baaaaag!"

Then Joey came along and punched Kala very weakly. "DON'T PICK ON TADASE, HE'S MY LOVER!"

Tadase turned to her and said, "Joey... we need to t-talk."

"Look, you can tell he loves me. Look how he stutters when he talks... it's so cute." Ugh, this was getting really annoying.

"Joey, I'm gay."

She started laughing. "No you aren't, sweetie!" She then kissed him. On the lips. He pulled away, nervous because Kukai was still standing there watching all of this. He looked at Kukai.

"I-I... it was her. Sh-she kissed me. You know I only l-love y-y-you, Kukai!"

"NO. YOU LOVE ME!" Joey shouted, slapping him.

"O-o-o-o-o-ow." He said.

Kala rolled her eyes because the stuttering thing was really going overboard. Oh, and so was the crush thing... forgot about that. That chocolate was good, she thought... nom nom nom.

Then Mello came up behind her. "Um, did you eat that chocolate?" Kala turned around and faced Mello.

"Well, yes. It's in muh bellay now." She patted her stomach, teasing him.

"NOOOO. THE CHOCOLATE! IT'S GONEE!" Mello... really likes chocolate, Kala thought.

Mello ran down the hall screaming in terror. "CHOCOLATE?! CHOCOLATE?! DOES ANYONE HAVE... CHOCOLATE?!?!?!?!"

Over-react, much?

Meanwhile, Tadase was whining to Kukai about the slap and Joey was apologizing excessively to him.

Kala walked away, towards Mello who had collapsed on the floor because he hadn't had chocolate in 2 minutes.

"MELLO!?" Kala kicked him extremely hard and as he woke up, he passed out again because of the kick to the head. "Oh, shiz. That was stupid." Kala said to herself, then waited until Mello woke up again. Then ran very fast so Mello wouldn't kill her...

When Kala got to where Tadase, Joey, and Kukai were standing, what she saw surprised her.

Tadase had forcefully kissed Kukai, who was trying very hard to push Tadase off of himself. Joey had a shotgun and was aiming towards Tadase, and Mr. Roger's neighborhood was watching. Kala tried to knock the shotgun out of Joey's hand, all the while screaming, "JOEY DON'T KILL ANYONE, I CAN JUST WRITE THEM IN MY DEATH NOTE!" And pulling out a notebook with the words 'Death Note' scrawled across it. That got a lot of attention that wasn't already diverted to the four, diverted to the four.

Kala took Joey's shotgun out of her hands, but it was too late. She had killed Tadase. He was on the floor, blood draining from his brainz.

With Joey's shotgun in hand, Kala shot Mello, who was running towards her, yelling for chocolate.

He fell down, blood draining out of his pantz.

"Kala, why the heck did you aim right there?" Joey wondered aloud.

"Sorry, it's just the first place I looked." Kala answered.

"Oh, wow..." Joey rolled her eyes.

THE END~

Tadagay: ...

Joey: ...

Mello: ...

Kala: ... la-wul.

Joey: WHY'D I HAVE TO KILL TADAGAY!?

Kala: YOU JUST SAID TADAGAY! Joey said Tadagayyyy!

Joey: Wtf, no I didn't!

Kala: You totally did.

Mello: *noms on chocolate* Yeah, she did.

Kala: I knew it.

Joey: Pls R&R or I will eat your babies.

Kala: THAT'S MAH JOB!