Counting Stars

Hi my fellow Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D fans. I have loved the Coulson/May aka Philinda pairing since I laid eyes on them and saw their interaction, so here's my take on a very beautiful song by OneRepublic and with these two Agents in mind, now has a brand new meaning to me. The disclaimer your looking for is at the bottom of this fic.

**Please R&R and Enjoy! ^_^**

**Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars, yeah we'll be counting stars

Agent Phil Coulson woke from an agitated sleep, it seemed every night he had the same succession of dreams –no, make that nightmares, which felt so real he could almost mistake them for memories. He sat up in his bed, in the middle of his office onboard the top level of 'the Bus', a very large specially equipped SHIELD plane, the light from the moon and stars shining though the reinforced glass in the roof of his office clearly showing the sweat covering his body from head to toe.

**I see this life like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and you shall find
Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told
I feel something so right
Doing the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, couldn't I, could lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

His nightmares always started the same. Agent Melinda May and himself working out in the field, more years ago than he cared to remember, out in Bahrain. They and a few other select Agents were the so-called 'Welcome-Wagon' to a supposedly gifted individual. All appeared to be going well, the Gifted even followed the Agents willingly to a SHIELD facility in Bahrain when he was asked to register himself on their 'List'. However, the good fortune had stopped there. The Gifted individual was very popular with the local population and believed him a God taken from them unwillingly by Americans. What happened next outside the facility was nothing short of a riot. At least 12 good SHIELD agents were killed on that day. Some of the few survivors were Melinda May, himself and a civilian child…his and Melinda's child. A beautiful little girl with pale beige skin and brown hair and she was no more than 6 months old. And if not for Melinda, with her pure strength and courage on that day in eliminating the misguided rioting locals, he doesn't doubt that they would be among the body count also.

**Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars

Melinda and Phil had always been close. Over the many years of working together and nearly dying together they soon developed an intimate relationship, even before Bahrain. He knew SHIELD would be his life and hers too, but back then he had wished for more. He would sometimes let himself fantasize that they were a normal couple, with a normal house, a normal job, then later that fantasy included the newest member of their family: Skye.

Skye was a welcome, yet unexpected, event in their already 'eventful' lives yet Melinda coped will with the pregnancy, birth and being a mother in general, Phil wasn't surprised by this as she excels in everything she turns her hand to. Skye was conceived and born while Phil and Melinda were based in Bahrain and she stayed at the facility, which until the incident appeared safe enough. After the debacle, Skye was forcibly removed from the pair by SHIELD. Melinda was distraught, screaming, crying, fighting to get back to her precious daughter. The top brass at SHIELD had told the pair that his is required to protect the child's safety…surely you can't argue with that. I and a few other Agents tried to hold Mel back as they took our daughter from us. I whispered in her ear "Let the girl go! It's for the best. Please Mel, let the girl go!" I said it for my own benefit as well as hers, hoping that I'd believe it and didn't feel my heart being torn out – But that came later.

Phil and Mel were pulled out of Bahrain and sent straight to The Hub. Nick Fury felt for the pair but reiterated the fact that Skye was taken to an orphanage by a SHIELD Agent earlier that day, where she'll live a normal safe life and any of her connections to SHIELD will be removed, even down to her surname.

Mel had been broken, she tried to return to the field again but her head wasn't in the right place and she felt she jeopardised her missions so she requested a transfer to Administration, for what she hoped would be a quieter life.

**I feel the love and I feel it burn
Down this river, every turn
Hope is a four-letter word
Make that money, watch it burn
Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
I don't think the world is sold
I'm just doing what we're told
I feel something so wrong
Doing the right thing
I could lie, could lie, could lie
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly

Phil and Melinda grew distant from then on, neither of them quite knowing what to say. Phil didn't want to bring up mission-talk and re-open old wounds, Melinda didn't really want to talk at all as her personality seem to drowned in despair. After nearly a year of trying to keep their relationship together, they split up. Mel stayed in Administration and Phil continued with his adventures, the last of which were The Avengers.

**Lately, I've been, I've been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We'll be counting stars

The second part of his nightmare was the terrible events leading up to and following his death in the Battle of New York. Loki's sceptre piercing his heart and killing him was nearly as painful as loosing his child. Every day when he looks at the scar on his chest he has flashbacks so clear it's like he's living it again, hoping to change the past and everyday he now sees Skye. A bittersweet twist of fate that had brought her back to him and Mel. He can see that even though she claims to be 'messed-up' she has grown into a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful young woman and he and Mel couldn't be more proud. Phil and Melinda were not aware that Skye was their child when she was first located and captured for being a prominent member of The Rising Tide. It was only after Skye reluctantly passed him the sim-card with all her background info and his own digging at The Hub for the un-redacted SHIELD file did he and Mel realise that their daughter had returned 'Home'.

**Take that money
Watch it burn
Sink in the river
The lessons are learnt…
Everything that kills me makes feel alive

Ok peeps, that's al I have! Hope you enjoyed reading it. If you haven't heard this song, check it out on youtube. I'll leave you now with the disclaimers:

I don't own Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D or the epic characters, they're owned by Marvel….It's in the title after all ^_^

I don't own The Avengers, for the same reason as the above really.

I don't own OneRepublic's Counting Stars, OneRepublic do!

And Finally…! I don't own Bahrain but Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa does. Hope that's clarified matters ^_^

Please review/comment/critique I love feedback xx