51 Things Emmett Is NOT Allowed To do

1. Do not tell Jasper he has problems adjusting due to the fact that he must be aggressive because he fought in wars.

2. Don't walk up to Carlisle and say 'looking good pops. Or as good as you'll ever look!'

3. Don't hide in Edwards closet then jump out 5 seconds before he is going to open it then tell him the tiny voices of elves inside his head told him to do it.

4. Please do not vandalize Esme's Garden then tell her Carlisle said it was horrible. Then tell me that a ground hog named Bella told you to.

5. Please stop saying that Jasper likes his women chunky and that is why he loves Alice.

6. Stop telling Bella that Edward has died a horrible death then laugh when she starts to cry.

7. Stop singing music and stuff when something dramatic happens then say 'I come with my own back ground music.'

8. Prank call Aro.

9. Tell Edward Bella ran off with the mutt.

10. Shout "I thought we were together" when Bella kisses Edward

11. And run out of the house saying "Bella was my love"

12. Tell Paul, Quill, Seth, and Embry to play fetch with you

13. Call Esme a carpenter

14. Call Alice "Tinkerbell"

15. Call Jasper gay

16. Call Edward "Edward Scissor hands"

17. Call Edward:ED-WEIRDO

18. Just call everyone by their name unless they say other wise!

19. Steal Charlie's police cruiser, and go around Forks arresting people.

20. Cook.

21. Congratulate Jessica about her pregnancy, and how he wants to be the Godfather of the bouncing baby boy.

22. Congratulate Mike about his pregnancy, and ask how he accomplished getting pregnant in the first place.

23. Paint the house pink

24. He can not glue union flags to Jaspers stuff.

25. Crash Edwards Volvo.

26. Steal items to "fix" them

27. Make fun of Bella

28. Cut up Alice's clothes and burn them, cancel her credit cards, and blame it on Edward

29. Act very girly around Jasper

30. Call Carlisle pops or gramps

31. Write a book for little kids

32. Teach history class

33. Ask for a star every time he gets an answer correct

34. Tell Rosalie she looks fat

35. Wear Alice's clothes to school for a week

36. Tell Bella that Edward went to Italy

37. Tell Bella that Edward is marrying Tanya instead of her

38. Hit a baseball through the big glass window and blame it on Jasper

39. Steal all of Edward's music and replace it with N'Sync and Backstreet Boys

40. Claim everyday is April Fool's Day

41. Fly a U.S. military plane without permission

42. Sneak into the White House and steal the president to play chess with him

43. Visit the hospital dressed as the grim reaper

44. Run along the border tuanting Jacob to see if he'll attack you

45. Call Jacob the family pet

46. Dye Jacob's hair.

47. Call Mike Newton Golden Retriever.

48. Ask Jessica and Lauren if they inspired Pink to write Stupid Girls.

49. Ask Lauren if she really thinks that she does gone be a famous model with that ugly face.

50. Say that you Bring the Sexy Back.

51. Ask Renne if she wants to adopt us. Then when she says no ask her if its becuase she thinks your fat and ugly.

AN- Ok so i'm finsished with the list i might do another chapter where the Cullen family+ Jacob comment on the things written but AI'm not sure tell me If i should do it! PLZ?