Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan.
You can't say anything, for fear of ruining the relationship.
You can't do anything, for fear of being hated.
You can't even admit it, because the throbbing pain would only crush you.
There were the colors of Kudo Shinichi's love.
Nothing could ever come out of this, loving your best friend. He'd only push you away if he knew.
It would be so much easier to stop. So much less destructive. So much more practical.
But that didn't matter. Shinichi loved him, their class's dedicated prankster.
.
.
.
It started on a fall day, where the leaves blazed like wildfire, but the wind blew softly, the breeze almost fading into nothingness.
Shinichi was hurting then, after so many cases, filled with so much ugliness and human malice. The world seemed to die so much more with each passing second.
That was the first time he saw him.
A woman was crying in the park, after another case. Just another part of the vicious cycle of life. Shinichi was about to turn away when something caught his eye...
...a young man about his age walked over.
"Don't cry, mademoiselle, a smile would surely suit you better," he told her, pulling out a lovely pink rose with a tender smile.
.
And a lighthouse of hope lit up in Shinichi's broken world. Suddenly, he wanted to know more. What was this shapeless feeling, that rose up and overcame him? Why did it make him feel so alive, heart beating so quickly, so uncontrollably, erratically, in his chest?
.
.
.
Soon, he would meet this strange boy again and like magic, it would cure his shattered will, bringing life to his heart.
As he started to see Kaito everywhere, they slowly met again and, inevitably, kept the other close by. And although Shinichi did not yet know why he was so affected by this odd high school magician, why this strangely pleasurable thrill, why this excitement, this racing pulse, he had long fallen for the other boy.
The jealousy that he felt when Kaito was touched by another.
The need for Kaito to stay besides him, no matter what.
The maddening effect of his pounding heart, his throbbing heart, when Kaito was near.
The surge of heartbreak when the thought of parting occurred to him.
It was all too much for him to handle.
Maybe it would be the last time they ever saw each other. There could be nothing to regret, no reaction to witness, no aftermath. If this love was going to be killed anyway, it might as well be better if Kaito knew.
So on their last day, after graduation, Shinichi pulled Kaito away, as cherry blossons bloomed and petals softly snowed down.
"I love you."
.
.
.
"What are you looking at?" asked a voice, breaking Shinichi's chain of thought.
The book was instantly slammed shut, closing away the memories.
"Nothing."
"Come on~, show me~!" the voice pleaded, as another man peered over Shinichi's shoulder.
"No."
"Please~?" they asked, with a pout.
". . . . . ."
"Please~? Please~?"
"Fine. Don't you dare laugh."
"Yay~! What is it?"
Slowly, Shinichi opened up the tome with an angry blush, revealing the old photo of Kaito that he had secret taken so many years ago. He still remembered the uncertainty, the fascination he had when he raised the camera, capturing the image of the sleeping boy. All the angst he felt when it was done, as he questioned his motives, before finally realizing that he was in love. Why did he fall for another man? Was it okay to love Kaito? Would it just fade with time?
All just swept aside by their sweet confessions under the cherry blossoms.
A pure love, passionate blissful kisses, all leading up to a happy conclusion.
If Shinichi had another chance in life, to spare himself from the pain of human error, he felt that he would make those same mistakes again.
Just so that he could meet Kaito.
Just so that he could have today.
Just so that they could be together.
"I love you Kaito," Shinichi said aloud as he pulled the other man in for a kiss.
Kaito smiled and their lips met. Soon they were gasping for breath.
"I lover you too."
Gorgeously, the two came together by pure coincidence, which soon turned into an inevitable fate, bound by that mysterious shapeless emotion and that red string around their pinkies.
Bound by love.